I'd kill myself!!!

When all i did was love you completely...

when my ISP goes down...i'm frustrated to tears trying to get back to you...

heart and soul I loved you as much as possible on a computer...

and i loved you every second of everyday that i wasnt with you....
you were in my mind.....

How could you do this?

ummm! and you cant tell people i had someone on the side...because everyone knows better... so you should try a different story...k

Just come out and say, you hate me, because i'm a bitch... that i always say mean things to you... That i never show affection...
that i never said i loved you!!!

I think these would be more affective than someone on the side....

At least i can HONESTLY say...i have NEVER hurt you! ever!!....
Because i would rather die than hurt you!!!
I WOULD NEVER MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!!

<FONT FACE="Arial Black"><FONT SIZE =4>i would kill myself before i'd hurt you like this!!!

.........I SWEAR TO God!!</FONT></FONT><font size =1><font color=black>




[This message has been edited by M?????a (edited December 12, 2001).]

I just wanted to touch you..
someday, for reals...
I LOVED YOU SO MUCH!!!

....and after current events....

That only happened in your mind!!

I cant compete with your imagination...

At least i can say ...I LOVE YOU!!!
...and its forever!!!

*eats popcorn*

If I had a dime for everytime I seen this http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

No offence, carry on! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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I will carry you through, kicking and screaming, and in the end you will thank me.


IT-Networks (Were back!)

*takes some of your popcorn*

first time seein this man,
so dont give the ending away ok.

want some milk duds?

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I'm a teenage christ...
I've got a date with suicide

I love movie popcorn

mel there was only one time i can relate to what you're saying...and although for some fucking strange reason im bein blamed for any of what's goin on with you and warrior i'll tell you who said something that made sense.

laura...and tewy were in the room and he said something along the line of "dont do this dont bring yourself to that level" what that meant....DIGNITY.

now me and that certain person are friends and completely civil all the pain is gone....keep your dignity. Dont reduce yourself to begging.

But!? http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/frown.gif

J's right mel...you're worth a lot than begging...and don't ever forget that!

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I am my own master but not always master of myself.

Crazy Kerala's Place

Dearest Mel
Honey, my heart ached for you reading this thread...You're a wonderful lady and i hate to see you hurting and from what i read of War's posts, he's hurting too!!
My 2cents for what it's worth!
Talk this out, away from public eyes, where the only players are the two of you!..too much can be misread and misinterpreted in public and i think that's some of where J was referring to the dignity part!
If you were meant to be, you can repair what has happened, if not, then maybe you can find room for each other without the hurt as friends.
You're both great people, and i always thought you were so sweet togather.
I don't know what happened, but i do know the pain you're feeling and the helplessness it festers..but for what it's worth, life does go on (forgive the cliche) even though right now it doesn't feel that way and take it from someone who's been there, there is happiness at the end of the rainbow
*HUGS YOU BOTH*

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Mel, I have got to agree with J and Lily..But from expierence also..the chat rooms causes so many problems in a relationship..espically if your in any way insecure in your relationship..and its hard to be secure when that person is so far away..You cant touch them or see their eyes to know what they are really saying..or mean either..but i will tell you this..You knew what you were getting into..cuz your no dummy!.I think you handle what life throws atcha and move on from there..Bad as i hate to say it..GET up girl..GEt your ass in gear..GET on with it..IF he wants you..time will tell..Dont grovel ..YOU are better than that.and he knows it too..And WAR if you see this..and i bet you do..Stop with the pity trip..talk to her..no riddles..no BS..Just get to the point..*S..*hugs ya both*..You guys always made me smile..and i dont mean to hurt anyones feelings here..I just want to see what's meant to be..BE!

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HEH HEH

last try*

wtf! did i do now? in the pool??

i seriously cant believe you're ballistic on me jumping in there when the wole time you were talking about the people that were in there.... You were there! why couldnt i be there?? Did you also notice the time between rottens last "Smooch good night to Kerala"..
and the time i jumped in..?

and as for the time i was gone that other night melinda came over..
i also had to go to the bathroom and was <font size=1> constipated, popped a roid..</font> if you have to fucking know everything...

http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/redface.gif i cant believe i just posted that..but WTF!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

after what you pulled tonight in the pool????? i'm sorry but that's not love.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight?..which was lastnight??

No! thats called INLOVE and Hurt!!

What you told kerala was pure hate! towards me... for reasons only known to you...again!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"""..even tho we can't be together anymore......bye hun....*tears...""
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tell me about the tears.. when all this came out of nowhere....again!!
I was in the deepest love possible...
everything i did was because i was in love with you...
if it was wrong in your eyes.. i could never understand why you cant get pissed like a normal person???

... you're calling all the shots...
and my begging... is starting to get to me....<font size =1><font color=black>




[This message has been edited by M?????a (edited December 13, 2001).]

http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/icons/icon3.gif doh!
http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/icons/icon11.gif

ok! so i'm blonde!! i guess he does hafta kick me in the head!!
After rereading the begging part...
i can just imagin the next post would be...

Damn! women!! cant you just get it through your head! you're bein dumped??

OK!! i let go!! ....*but grabs on to his leg and holds on for dear life....
<font size =1><font color=black>


[This message has been edited by M?????a (edited December 13, 2001).]

See and also given the fact that he's married and mad at you for "having someone on the side".

It might be he just doesn't want it...or as usual he likes to see you beg. Mel how many times has he played this "you didn't show you love me enough mel i love you but im so hurt"?
<font size=1><font color=black>



[This message has been edited by rotten (edited December 13, 2001).]

Mel I know i am new here and my words probably mean shit to you, but I have o tell you that a couple of years back I fell in love deeply for a girl I had met on the internet. We made plans to get together and I moved all the way to Garabaldi Oregon.
Things went great for a whle, however I soon found out that she was still inlove with her X husband. That soon spirald out of control and we broke up, and I moved back to Indiana.

What I am trying to tell you here is Love over the Internet can hurt deeply as I am sure you are hurting deeply right now. The trick to getting through this I found out is to be around friends that care a lot for you.
That way you don't think about the hurt as often. It wil take a long time to ge over a Love, and I am sure you know that your a smart lady. Thies are just small words from a new friend. Hope I could help in a small way.

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This hour I tell things in confidence,
I might not tell everybody, but I will tell you. ?Walt Whitman?

[B] The only thing i can not understand is WHY does he do this????

He's done this so many times, and he said he wouldnt do this again???

Lily! if you think he's hurt, WHY would anyone do shit to hurt themselves???

I havnt done anything i dont normaly do every fucking day.... But this time he says ""i must have someone on the side"""
...Like i said up there...Wrong story try another one....ya know!???

SO many questions..... for as many times he's done this....
i still cant understand WHY and right out of know where.. all of a sudden, either i didnt do something i should have... or i did something i shouldnt...

WHY does he hate me so easily..?
and its such a feurious hatred!!
I wont go into e-mail, and i'm keeping this right here....

I think he's really dumped me this time...
PMing my female friends telling them how much i've hurt him and how he's the one who's fucked... oh and my bf on the side...
*hugs n kisses and all that....
PMing them how he's not coming back because " I " hurt him???


i'm just sitting here trying to figure out wtf! i could possibly have done different to prevent this...


I dont care what WAR makes up anymore..

I think i make a great gf... and i think bein inlove is a wonderful feeling...*VB http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif

Sooo Ladies!! obviously he's lookin, and you dont hafta worrie about me getting upset for calling him honey...sweet(f) !!!

http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

*ahem! but so far i still gotta death grip on his leg!!

welp! i'm out! for the night...
Have fun!!... http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif

and i love n dearly Thank You for your support, ...My Friends! ....*VVVB http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif

GO MEL!..I knew you were in there..You cant keep a good woman down..not by a long shot!..*paints red streaks in your hair*..just for some attitude.. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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HEH HEH

I invite War to private me about this situation..I have a few things I would like to say to him...Not to mention get straight.. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif

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BITCH!..Its not only an insult...Its a way of life.
Our Place

Oh Leo you slut you've been on everything but the Titanic, let someone else have a try at Mel *LMAO

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This hour I tell things in confidence,
I might not tell everybody, but I will tell you. ?Walt Whitman?

eeeeyeah! an i'm wearin my new disturbed t-shirt see-----><FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS" SIZE=5><FONT COLOR=#FFF7EF>D</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFFBF7>I</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFFFFF>S</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFFFFF>T</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFFCFA>U</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFFAF4>R</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFF7EF>B</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFF7EF>E</FONT><FONT COLOR=#FFFAF4>D</FONT></FONT>

*gotta love my friends, there the greatest in the whole world.. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/icons/icon18.gif http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif

Hey mel..this might sound weird to you and I hope I can get it to come out here and make sense like it does in my head...but I've read a couple things in here that has happened between you and War..and you seem to love so deeply. I don't think that I have ever loved like you seem to love. I am starting to think that I'm not capable of it. It seems so natural for you and a few other people. That is something that I am jealous of. For me, when trouble starts calling, I am so quick to say...Get out...You'll look just as good going as you did coming...and to have a whole, what the fuck ever attitude. And when I'm done, I'm done..I've never tried my hardest to keep a relationship together..I've never really cried....I just don't seem to be able to love a man like that...like you. That is a gift.

My point is mel..take that love...find someone who will cherish it and covet it....don't waist it on someone, like me, who doesn't know how to deserve it...I'm not War bashing...I don't even know him...other than hi's and byes at the pool....I'm just speaking from a personal stand point..You seem to me..to have so much to give someone else...you are very selfless. That's not always good...but as your friends (you can count me in that group if you'd like) it's hard for us to watch you hurt...when we know what is under all of that hurt.


*S...sorry for the long gushy post.....

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i have not! *paws on hips*......go play with your invisible pecker and leave me alone, willya? *L

MEL! i got a Disturbed t-shirt.....in fact, about a half hour ago when i was getting dressed, i almost put it on, but i chose my black Led Zep shirt instead http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

oh WAH! AH! AH! AH!

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Say Anything.......
Leo the Lioness' Anything Board

RIP those who died senselessly 9-11-01
All Things Must Pass - G. Harrison

*lurves Mel*
Its friday... I wont get to come to PH for my usual friday nite beer drinkin tonite I dun think..... My dad is comin...But I be thinkin boutcha!

------------------
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.

MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

i have an open slot for a great g/f "honey"... http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif

Damn.....I've been gone for a while. This seems like the best episode yet *L* Lemme get this straight...Mel and War are in love, yet they've never touched...hmmmm. War is married to a real woman however Mel can't have a real man in her life, she has to depend on the touch of a keyboard to fill her womanly needs. Does internet love actually exist between 2 people that don't know each other??? Do mel and War get out of the house much??? This is some wacky shit *LOL*....Any plans of making this a made for TV movie???? *LMAO*.....*waves at 2CUTE*...I still think you're cute as hell *S*

------------------

i feel so outa the loop, dunno what's going on.. so all i'ma say .. is to the person above me (fergot his name already) ... fuck you man.. that's low

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When they came for the communists, I wasn't a communist, so I did nothing.
When they came for the Jews, I wasn't Jewish, so I did nothing.
Then they came for teh Gypsies, but I wasn't Gypsy, so I did nothing.
And then they came for me, and there was no one left to do anything.

somehow i dont believe outside looking in is a casual observer...sounds like a bitter bitch i've heard before.

I like Outside looking in! *G*

Seriously though, it is possible, just takes alot of trust, honesty, and faith...from BOTH people...the onesided internet relationship never turns out well...I've been through it and have seen it waaaaaaay too many times *sigh*

Mel..you're stronger than you know *hugs ya* I'm here...you know that.

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Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

Quitcherbitchen!

Agrees with J..and Paiges..yeah..i never say this but Fuck you man sounds like a good one..that was pretty shitty.. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/frown.gif

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HEH HEH

Mel,
Just thought I'd say a few words here to let you know I think you're a great person and I think you have a lot to offer the right guy. That "outside looking in" person apparently has no idea of what they are talking about. It is VERY easy to let yourself become overwhelmed with emotion and full of feelings for another on the internet. I've been in your place before too, and there is nothing worse than loving someone and not getting the same in return. I have to agree with the invisible man about being around friends and family... I found more support from them than I ever thought possible. Just wanted you to know I care about you and think you're a very sweet person and that you are surrounded by people who think alot of you ... right here. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif

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WoW! i'm speachless! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/icons/icon11.gif ...almost!...L*

Macy! dont be jealous of loving deeply..
it hurts!!
The deeper you love the more it hurts expecially when your slapped down...

But when its shared by two, the feeling is so wonderful, ya just dont want to let it go.. and its hard to let go..

2cute's exactly right, and i thought we had that, a few times.. It CAN NOT be a onesided relationship...
I got to confident, and to relaxed, i was just soaking up the wonderful feeling...
And let my guard down...

Macy! you have absolutely nothing to worrie about...
Dont be in a hurry, it WILL happen, and there is no doubt you're capable..*L*... "InLove" is gonna hitcha like a ton of bricks, when you least expect it..*L*... and then you're a gonner! for sure!!! L*
i wish i was more like you...

OUTSIDEs purpose is just a different perspective, i think...
aauh! i had no problem with this bein internet only .. and my "womanly needs"??
were taken care of just fine...
Who are you?? just when i think i know who you are... i dont know, who you are...


Internet relationships are real!
The feelings are real and are felt just as deep, as when the computer is off...
What tears you the fuck up is, the want and need to touch.. for reals
and if you're not careful, and you dont try to control it.. it can drive you absolutely crazy!!!
i think this is something WE ALL can agree on!<font size =1><font color=black>

[This message has been edited by M?????a (edited December 15, 2001).]

I'am soooo Thankfull for this board and for the people that post on here!!
*squishy hugs you all!!

*L* *twirles around .. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif

i think i can safely speak for everybody when i say we're thankful for you and this board, too, mel *hug n kotc*......you're such a good person, always remember that k? *G

------------------
Say Anything.......
Leo the Lioness' Anything Board

RIP those who died senselessly 9-11-01
All Things Must Pass - G. Harrison

i DO NOT like this 2 page crap!!! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/frown.gif

WEO!!! i like your gif! its you!!


and Thaaank you!! *hugs u

yeah..the page 2 shit kinda irritates me....why the fuck did they do that???

Mel...you on? I wanna ask ya something...kay? *hugs n smooches ya, then wipes your lips before you get a chance to* http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

Quitcherbitchen!

Macy it may seem to you like you dont love as "deep" or aren't as capable of love as some of the people with internet loves. But maybe you're looking for real love, not someone who types the right things but it will never go from there.

Never ever wish you "loved" the way some of the women do in the pool *L It comes mostly from loneliness and probably an insecurity to date r/t.

there are a few exceptions where you know the people aren't desperate and there's something there...but most is just a comfort thing. And i really doubt the love between most of the people is "deep" *L

*raises an eyebrow*

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Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you're an asshole!

Quitcherbitchen!

pffffft 2 i said with exceptions..

anyhow dont listen to me i wrote that hungry

J I think Macy might have been talking real time as well, but I'm not sure...just a guess.

And Macy if you do mean real time as well I so know where you're coming from...I push away as well even it's anything more than a friend. But I think that comes more from not being ready to be in love with someone that way...I can love my friends til I'm blue in the face, but that is obviously different. But the real deal in love stuff freaks me out http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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I am my own master but not always master of myself.

Crazy Kerala's Place