Top Ten Posters List Rankings Formula:

Ok, I've posted this way back when I first began implementing the ratings and quality points, but I'll do it again. You may want to print it out or archive the damn thing just so people won't bitch every Friday and claim that it's bogus, or say, "what's the damn equation for this shit" I hope this board improves and we get more quality posts up so that me loading this won't be a waste of time.
Anyway, here is how the system works. It keeps track of every post that you make, and each word in that post. It takes a weekly sum, and, calculates the following formula for each person to generate a total number of quality points:

A(# of total posts) divided by B(# of total responses to your posts) = C

C is now multiplied by the sum of D (which is the total amount of boobs posted divided by 2, MULTIPLIED by the number of hottie posted IN RESPONSE to your post)

This total, which we will call E, is now divided by the sum of the number of "Bwhahahaha!"'s and "WAR (anything relating to your post on a positive manner)." This total we will call F.

The computer then will take the total number of responses to any NON-thread-starting posts of yours and add it to the average responses-per-thread-you-started. This total is known as G. Added to G will be the square root of the TOTAL number of responses to EVERY post you put up that week. THIS particular total, after being multiplied by 1.45, is known as H.

This is where is gets tricky and this is where we thank modern technology. The system adds "F" to (number of responses to ANY of your posts by a 500+ poster DIVIDED by the tard-to-mod response ratio. This number will be called J

J is then added to H, and is this total, L, remains the integer by which M (total "Fuck you's" plus Any Sirfindafold "get fukked"'s and "you're a fukken jerkoff"'s and Morten Andersen references to "big fat fukken rat cock"'s) is subtracted, but only after that total of f-bombs is divided by 1.67. *as the one who created this accurate ranking system, I reserve the right to police any intentional spamming f-bombs (posting "F YOU" 600 times) and factoring them out of the equation.
This total is now added to F, and this total becomes K.

The computer takes the total grammatical ratings points (L) and multipies by 0.33. This total, M, will be added to the sum of K and and J.
This total becomes your number of quality points on the week, which determines your rankings.
Tie breakers within the top ten will be broken with:
1) Sum of "C"
2) Sum of "E"
3) your total career posts (this is where veteran status helps)
4) I hold a cracker in each hand with the name of the poster on each cracker. Whichever one my pet otter Oswald eats first will be eliminated, and the other wins the tie-breaker.
Note: it has never come to this.
5) in the event that Oswald doesn't eat either cracker, I will flip a coin UNLESS the tie-breaker is for the number one spot. In this case, I will e-mail both of your motherfukkers and ask for a 2,000 word essay on the topic (probably related to Smackchat, sports, or Rush) of my choice. I will then grade your papers on content, grammar, and insight, and the highest grade will win. And yes, it is a 10-point scale.
6. If this ends in a tie (ex. an 84 on both papers), I will then think of a tit size and have you guess which tit size I'm thinking off. The person who comes closest will be # 1 poster of the week.
7. If both people guess the exact same tit size that I am thinking of (this is conducted via e-mail), I will have you pic-wytch some Winnie Cooper porn (soft or hard, your choice, and then give that a rating from 0-100. The person with the highest score wins #1 poster of the damn week.
8. If somehow this ends in a tie, I will have both of you FedEx a six-pack of the finest imports you can think of. Fed Ex that six pack to my crib (I'll give you the address via e-mail), and I will do an extensive taste test to determine the total rating for it. (0-100 scale). Finally, we will be able to determine the # 1 poster of the week.


Thanks for reading and good luck on your posts this week. I'll list the top ten on Friday.
Out.
-GAP

oh yeah....

9. But if the imported beer taste test ends in a tie, it will come down me meeting both of you at a playground TBA where I will referee you two playing a game of one on one soccer. Two periods, 10 minutes each. No overtimes.

10. If that winds up a tie, I will drive the both of you to the mountains of the Shenendoah Valley near C-Ville. There we will have a hike, and you will be given a map and one lunchbox for a lunch break. Whoever finishes the hike first wins #1 poster of the week.


OUT.


one more thing....


11. If this hike ends in a tie, I will take you to a rock-climbing expedition. When you get to the top, you must jump down and plummet your way to the bottom. Whoever escapes this rock climb with the fewest broken bones and scratches will win the #1 poster of the week. The judging of injuries from this will be determined by me.
If it is indecisive and you both have hardly any scratches (or basically the same amount), looks like we got another damn tie. We move on to tie-breaker number 12

12. As you recover, I will go jack off behind a secluded cluster of trees. When I am done, I will come back and ask you which celebrity or model I was thinking of as I whacked off. THe person closest wins (i.e. if I was thinking of Rene Russo and one of you says "The Mom on Growing Pains" and the other says "Pricella Presley," the one who said "Pricella Presley" will win, because she's a brunette and looks closest like Rene Russo.

However, if you both respond with "Rene Russo," put on your earmuffs and camo gear. We're going skeet shooting.

13. Ten clay discs will be fired into the air for each person, and there will be 5 rounds. THe person with the most TOTAL hits will win. If you get the same amount of hits, then FUKK! We got another tie

14. At this point I will stand at home plate at a baseball field with a stopwatch and have you both run around the bases. When you touch each base, you'll yell "Boobs!" Whoever rounds the bases in the quickest time will be the #1 poster of the fukkin week. And my stopwatch goes up to 100ths of a second, so this should end it.

15. But if it doesn't and you both tie on that RIGHT DOWN to the final 100th of a second, we go to the 15th fukkin tie-breaker. No, NOT a coin flip just yet. I will take you outside the crib of Tommie the Banker that night and have you each fire one round of ten grade A extra large eggs at the top right window of his crib. Ye who has the most hits on that window wins. If it's a tie,

16. A quick game of tic-tac-toe in the dirt. Since 50% of those end in a damn tie, we'll probably be going on to tie-breaker #17

17. A game of musical chairs between the both of you pole-smokers, with my choice of music. If by the time I lift the needle from the THompson Twins record, you both sit in the final chair at the same time and split the son of a bitch, we'll go to another tie-breaker. Note: one of you MIGHT want to throw this tie-breaker.

18. I will ask you to bring me your hottest female relative (even if it's your mother) and I'll pay them 100 dollars each for a three-way. Whichever relative is the best, you'll win. If it's just too damn close to call, we'll have to go to another tie-breaker

19. this is where we will try to end this fukking thing, and this is where is might get a bit fukked up. I will dress up in my Civil War suit plus a hockey mask and have you both hog-tied, fully clothed, and on your knees, with the red ball strapped to your mouth ala Pulp Fiction I will paddle your asses at the same time with a bigass oar, and after 60 seconds I'll remove the red ball. Whoever screams "Mercy!" or "Stop!" will be eliminated. If you say "thank you sir, may I have another?," you win. If you both say that, then I continue to paddle your asses. If this continues on for 5 minutes with nobody saying "Mercy," we will go to #20

20. Coin flip.

Never question the damn rankings, bitch.
oot.


7up yer ass

http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

Who is 69th?

I hereby proclaim this post as The 80's Man's finest to date.

RACK!

I get the feeling that Gio is going to recieve plenty of RACKS in this thread.

I'll second that.
What thought process., however , I would start with the ass paddling alot sooner, and often.
The first to get kidney failure wins.
R

i just did some quick math... i'm at zero.

Fucking RACK the 80's man......one of your Best! http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

RACK THAT!!!

Fucking hilarious...!

L8.

Finally, a simple, clear and concise explanation of the 80's Dude's ranking system.

No wonder I never make the fukken list. Unlike you guys, I don't let anybody beat mah ass with a paddle. http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

I will not rest until I get my grandmother to read this and yell WAR G-MONEY!

Hearty RACK to you, sir.

Indubidubly.

Fucking BWAHAHAHAHAA

That should definately help your rankings
G-mon

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by OmegaVerb:
Who is 69th?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks for bringing that up. I forgot to mention. Please make note that if there is a tie for 69th place, the same scenarios of tie-breakers used for the #1 spot will be conducted.

Thank you.

-Giovanni Fukking Anthony Peters

Aren't there some modifications from the last time you posted the formula? I don't think you had Oswald yet.

Smackie....I didn't post the tie-breaker scenario at all, but the Oswald and cracker tiebreaker WAS added shortly after my acquisition of the furry fukker.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by The 80's Man:

Smackie....I didn't post the tie-breaker scenario at all, but the Oswald and cracker tiebreaker WAS added shortly after my acquisition of the furry fukker.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gotcha...changing times call for changing rules. Kinda like the zone defense in the NBA.

80's man you rock but just post the damn results

too much time on your hands but RACK you anyway http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

Rack 80's Man. If I never make another list,I understand why.

No matter how long I leave this place I can count on one thing.

I'll come back, to find many men with their lips attached to this loser.

Why don't you guys just form a religion?

Hell, if we'd of had automatons, similar to the likes of you tonsil pimps, in the early days of the Space Program; we wouldn't of had to send monkeys up.

I just jogged through and decided to bail.

I have very little free time, and it seems as though every succession that occurs, post Smack Chat, is nothing more than a watering down.

I hope everybody is doing well, and wish you all the best. I'll try back, if I get a chance, in week or so.

God Bless, the agnostics, atheists, devil worshipers and even Index.

"4) I hold a cracker in each hand with the name of the poster on each cracker. Whichever one my pet otter Oswald eats first will be eliminated, and the other wins the tie-breaker.
Note: it has never come to this.
5) in the event that Oswald doesn't eat either cracker, I will flip a coin UNLESS the tie-breaker is for the number one spot. In this case, I will e-mail both of your motherfukkers and ask for a 2,000 word essay on the topic (probably related to Smackchat, sports, or Rush) of my choice. I will then grade your papers on content, grammar, and insight, and the highest grade will win. And yes, it is a 10-point scale. "

Bwaaaahahahahha!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Python:
I hereby proclaim this post as The 80's Man's finest to date.

RACK!</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

warrenton, your thoughts? http://www.hostboard.com/forums/

Good formula, but would the formula issue me negative points if I smacked the shit out of it?

Flashback to a Michigan playground, where a young MGO holds court...:

"Yeah, sure. That could happen. Fucking coyote falls 600 goddamn feet onto a rocky desert floor, then gets crushed by an enormous boulder that falls from the same obscene height, and walks away with nothing more than a case of torsus accordionus??? That's bullshit."

http://forum.gamez.nl/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Rack the General. That was beeyootifull.

I used this equation for my posts and I ended owing the board $1200....fuckdelliuk.

I can't believe I read that whole thing.

RACK

RACK.

69 With A Man,

Drop the fucking act, Pickle Puffer. The joke's over, fuckstain. Go back to posting your fag daddy's picture. Better yet, break out that picture of your fucked up grill again. HAHAHAHA!!

Way to blend in with what everyone else in this thread is saying, Dinglefukk.
You're the worst troll....hell, worst poster here. Nothing quality to add. Just a piece of shit.
At least warrenton, through his bitterness, has some of my respect. You're just shit.

Excellent work. I think I have it all down now.

Rack the guidelines!

Bill-DC

rack

Great formula