I've been abandoned by Mrs SJ [img]frown.gif[/img]
She's gone off on a week long business trip to South Africa! The house is a mess, the cats are going crazy and I'm running out of food to cook!!!
HELP!! I can't cope!!! [img]redface.gif[/img]
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I've been abandoned by Mrs SJ [img]frown.gif[/img]
She's gone off on a week long business trip to South Africa! The house is a mess, the cats are going crazy and I'm running out of food to cook!!!
HELP!! I can't cope!!! [img]redface.gif[/img]
Eat the cat then.
I'll call Bob Geldof and have him make a benefit to FEED SJ...planes will be droppng rice, oatmeal and milk in two days. So hope ya can make it before then.
If you really get hungry...eat the cockroaches in the cupboard...Fear Factor claims they are full of protein.
Your place for a party then!! Lol
My clan left me alone for a week already this summer. Thing is though, I take care of all the animals anyway, and I do the majority of the cooking, and since there were no kids around there was no mess made. So...I got bored REAL fast with nothing to do but eat alone, watch movies and play guitar whenever I wanted.
My hypothesis again:
Vitamin C is good for you.
Fruit contain Vitamin C
Grapes are fruit.
They make wine out of grapes.
ergo
Wine is good for you!
[img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
I've been drinking [img]biggrin.gif[/img] on a school (i.e. work tomorrow morning) night! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
I may regret it but lets live a little eh? [img]wink.gif[/img]
I love it when my Misses goes on "business trips" to South Africa. She always comes home beaming, and walking like she's just got off a horse....
<font size="4" face="Arial">DAMN, a week where i could have come up and gotten int trouble. Some day you will get to meet "THE CHICK"Quote:
Originally posted by Carl I.:
My clan left me alone for a week already this summer. Thing is though, I take care of all the animals anyway, and I do the majority of the cooking, and since there were no kids around there was no mess made. So...I got bored REAL fast with nothing to do but eat alone, watch movies and play guitar whenever I wanted.
Ahh... you can't keep a good man down, even with glue and selotape! [img]wink.gif[/img]
Turns out members of MY team couldn't take the pace last night and have phoned in sick.... Heads will roll on Monday morning! [img]mad.gif[/img]
Get an eight ball of best Bolivain,a couple of bottles of absolut, and a pair of big fat hookers. The might even cook as well.
<font size="4" face="Arial">LMFAO!!!!Quote:
Originally posted by Buttz:
I love it when my Misses goes on "business trips" to South Africa. She always comes home beaming, and walking like she's just got off a horse....
[img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
<font size="4" face="Arial">Sounds like a plan, Stan! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]Quote:
Originally posted by IH Rich Rags:
Get an eight ball of best Bolivain,a couple of bottles of absolut, and a pair of big fat hookers. The might even cook as well.
<font size="4" face="Arial">Not all fruit contain vitamin C.Quote:
Originally posted by SJ_Skyline:
My hypothesis again:
Vitamin C is good for you.
Fruit contain Vitamin C
Grapes are fruit.
They make wine out of grapes.
ergo
Wine is good for you!
I may regret it but lets live a little eh? [img]wink.gif[/img]
Red wine is good for you because - deep breath: the polifenoles
of the red wine inhibit the tirosina quinasas
proteins, that are a group of enzimas fundamental
for cell regulation, what is translated in a
blockade to the synthesis of the endotelines.
In other words, it reduces the risk of contrac-
ting a coronary illness (and a mental risk to
health, according to some), but only preventa-
tively. If your arteries are already clogged,
you'll probably pop your clogs anyway. Drinking
too much allegedly increases the risk of both.
Spoilsport scientists have already extracted the
prolifenoles (and the piss), and have made them
available in tablet form.
--
My favourite syllogism is:
If money is made from paper
And paper comes from trees,
Then money does indeed grow on trees.
Spoilsport recyclists fucked this up.
Chin-chin!
D.
<font color="#FF0000" size="1">[ August 19, 2005 10:34 AM: Message edited by: Deviant D ]</font>
No animals were actually harmed, mentally scarred is another story
I bet you burned your old man on the grill though. And Im not talking about Ken
<font color="#FF0000" size="1">[ August 19, 2005 02:46 PM: Message edited by: IH Rich Rags ]</font>
Jesus you fall for it every fucking time, thats what you get for taking the piss out of the big man, remember the night in stoke the story about Jills brother sick as fuck thats me
<font color="#FF0000" size="1">[ August 19, 2005 03:10 PM: Message edited by: Johnny B ]</font>
You Utter utter Cunt!
If I tell your mum that you made a joke about your old boy being dead, more to the point, that you did it to MEE , you will be extracting more than a kitchen knife from your leg this time. Your Mrs will think you have given her a dose after I put paraquat in your fabric softner.
You Bastard.
The dark one is on my side
Fuck me I aint laughed so much since Bill opened his Roadies tool box and it was full of pies and sweeties
<font color="#FF0000" size="1">[ August 19, 2005 05:10 PM: Message edited by: Johnny B ]</font>
<font size="4" face="Arial">Laugh? I nearly Shat!Quote:
Originally posted by Johnny B:
The dark one is on my side
Fuck me I aint laughed so much since Bill opened his Roadies tool box and it was full of pies and sweeties
<font color="#FF0000"><font size="1">[ August 19, 2005 05:10 PM: Message edited by: Johnny B ]</font></font>
I've not laughed so much since grandad died and aunt mabel caught her left tit in the mangel!
[img]biggrin.gif[/img]
I havent laughed so much since Bill got burgled and the thieves rang his house two days later to ask him how to preset the video. You then had the temerity to ask him if they stole his hair as well!!
He was a big lad Bill, had massive man tits, he was a right rough Yorkshire lad he liked his udders feeled
QUOTE]Sounds like a plan, Stan! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [/QB][/QUOTE]
I ain't been called stan in a long time! [img]wink.gif[/img]
The only man we ever had as a roadie who was contracted to take a bath. Unfortunately by the time he got into reception he was as sweaty as a pig on the way into the big shed. I once saw him wipe his arse on a skid row t-shirt and then put it back on!
5 sausages
Reminds me of when Dave's neighbours in Newcastle were burgled. Nigel ran after them down the road with a hammer, he got to the end of the road before the adrenaline wore off and he heard his wife call after him:
"Nigel!! You've got no clothes on!!"
FPMSL [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
We need to get Johnny Bullets on this thread. He has sent me photos of his 'Personal space time'
It has to be seen to be believed.