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Why men die first is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but now we know...
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist;
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her;
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation;
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism;
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment;
If you keep quiet its male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp;
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist;
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination;
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert;
If you don't, you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist;
If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain;
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something;
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself;
If you aren't you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired;
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
Men die first because they want to...
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or we kill you for being inconsistent
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Men die first because us women want them to. it leaves the golden years peacefully quiet.
Who'd want to listen to a crochetty old fart constantly complaining about how his 'roids hurt or how much his arthritis is aching him today, blah blah blah.
Arsenic and old lacy Im telling ya!
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http://www.1000smilies.com/animated/surrendering.gif You Guys are kinda scaring me... Y'all are joking right...right?
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*writing out check to the insurance company* uh oh yeah just kidding..right Belle? *winking*
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http://tinypic.com/bi9pax.jpg
Is there a conspiracy or am I just feeling paranoid... Hey Lefty, Are we gonna be safe over here?
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Mum do ya think I should add another zero to the amount Im insuring him for? *shows her the life insurance policy*
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Don't worry Rog...they're just playing with you, cause the real reason why men die early is because they have NO SENSE of HUMOR!!! So you're safe and should live a long long time......... [img]wink.gif[/img]
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I'll be allright. Women love me. You want to know something really weird? I used to be nice and considerate to women and they wouldn't give me the time of day. Now I'm sarcastic to the point of being vicious, and treat them as insensitive as I would a man and I suddenly have female friends.
I read that women and men are now dying at virtually the same age. It's because women expose themselves to stressful conditions, bad eating habits, and commuter traffic, more than they did 50 years ago. Long live emancipation! Long live early graves!
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of course there are exceptions *aiming weapon at Lefty*
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Some women are weird. *nods to self*
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On our local news..a man cut up his wife..slit the throat of his 18 month old baby..and then stabbed himself..and guess what...he is on the Homeland security "Watch" list..his name is mohammad something or other...my question is why are they watching him..if he is dangerous..which obviously he is ...kick him out of the country...how do they watch him...did they see him trying to kill two people..(they survived so far)..silly, silly...
<font color="#FF9966" size="1">[ September 07, 2005 08:36 PM: Message edited by: cherrysmum ]</font>
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Sigh. They amend the constitution, raping it beyond repair, endangering the basic human rights of all Americans, and then this is what happens when they invade your privacy under the threat of cancelling regular habeas corpus for an unspecified amount of time? Meanwhile, they arrest people under the Patriot Act that voice the opinion they don't like.
Yeah. Well, *that* was a good idea. I'm sorry to tell you this, ma, but after 3 years of studying your country in college I learned one sad truth: most of your fellow countrymen are complete and utter morons. And the worst idiots reside on Capitol Hill. So if I were you, I'd do what Ben Franklin himself has commanded you to do when dangerous incompetence takes over the government. What even George Washington told you to do. What every great visionary told you to do.
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"give to the red cross"?????
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Do what we did back on 11th November 1975. We sacked the Prime Minister.
Quick overview:
On Tuesday November 11th, 1975, the Governor-General of Australia, Sir John Kerr, dismissed Mr Gough Whitlam as Prime Minister and appointed Mr Malcolm Fraser as a caretaker Prime Minister.
The dismissal was the most dramatic event in the history of the Australian federation. For the first time, an unelected vice-regal representative had removed from office a government which commanded a majority in the House of Representatives.
A Double Dissolution election was held on December 13th, 1975, at which the Whitlam Government was soundly defeated.
The dismissal of the Whitlam Labor Government was the culmination of a series of dramatic events which began in October, 1975 with the refusal by the Senate to pass the government's budget bills.
Famous quote on the day of his dismissal:
Ladies and gentlemen, well may we say "God Save the Queen", because nothing will save the Governor-General. The proclamation you have just heard was countersigned Malcolm Fraser, who will go down in history as Kerr's cur.
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LOL! But what did he do to desreve such hatred? Was he an uggo?
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Oh I wish we could do it that way....bye bye bush
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Go back to Texas, and we'll give it back to the Mexicans!
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Oh YES!!! This country will be controlled by Mexicans in 10 years not doubt...I'm gonna follow the Bible and run to the mountains soon cause you are so right this country is being ran by MORONS!!!
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Lefty..too much to post here of what Gough did but it's kinda interesting what the Senate did to him.
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Maybe I'll do some Australian Studies. Does that exist? I already had American Studies and will have Canadian Studies soon. I'm a real man of the world these days.
Is it hard to migrate to Australia? Cuz I had my heart set on Canada, but the immigration laws there are just ridiculous. Besides, The Netherlands is a highly superior country anyway.
Perhaps I'll go to Sweden. That's one of the best places to live. If you don't mind the suicides. Or the language.
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Aussieland is a great place to live. We dont have large predators, you might die from a small insect bite though..
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I just saw a special on the jellyfish near Queensland. Two scientist dived near a jelly fish, the man got stung on his lip (the only exposed part of his body) and as the lady was removing her glove a broken tentacle touched her thumb and she was in unbearable pain for 2 weeks and the dude was in pain for a few days.
not much skinny dipping down there, I'm guessing
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Ahh the infamous Box Jellyfish (see we even gift wrap them too)..*giggles*
One of the privileges of being Australian is getting to share this wide brown land of ours with some of the world's most painful and poisonous creatures. Nine of the world's 10 most poisonous snakes are Australian, and the world's deadliest spider, the Sydney Funnel Web. Our spiders out-perform the best biters from anywhere around the globe and, when it comes to causing pain, even the cute platypus produces one of the most excruciating venoms known.
Then we have Blue Ring Octopus, Cone shellfish, goannas, cassowary and emus, salt water crocodiles, sharks, dingoes, platypus, and even the kangaroo is deadly.
Wanna come visit? Just check under the dunny seat before you sit down cuz you never know if a Red back Spider is lurking underneath.. [img]eek.gif[/img]
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YIKES!!!!!!!!!! [img]confused.gif[/img] [img]eek.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/cry.gif[/img]
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I use to keep Red Back Spiders for pets and the females would get very big and be very fast. Feeding time was always...interesting.
