OH.. MY... GOD... I found the PERFECT guitar for me....

I've already emailed their custom shop for price and availability.

http://baimun.home.comcast.net/monkey.jpg

MONKEY INLAYS?!?!?!

I requested a price quote in translucent (orangutang) orange with a natural red (monkey ass) mahogany backside. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

I'm dead serious. I want one.

Another guitarist walks up....

"Hey... what are those inlays?"

"Monkeys."

"Wha...??? You're shitting me."

"No. Monkeys. And the back of the guitar has a red ass too."

"Dude. You're a fuckin' freak, you know that?"

"I've heard rumors to that effect."

[img]biggrin.gif[/img]

Monkeys.......ok.......

NEXT !!!!

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for 5? a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys

[img]tongue.gif[/img]

Yes, this will be your perfect guitar until the next one. I know your condition. [img]wink.gif[/img]

At least with Guitars, there's a specific name for Obsessive Compulsive behaviour....


G.A.S. - Gear Acquisition Syndrome.

I've got GAS and there isn't any antacid for it baby... [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

Monkeys most definitely kick 18 kinds of @ss! Evil Chris and I have ~14 (I lose count) plush monkeys throughout the house. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a monkey

Quote:

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Originally posted by Chaserfan:
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a monkey

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">''If had a million dollar I'd buy you a K-car''
[img]wink.gif[/img]

a nice reliant automobile...

Quote:

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Originally posted by Joranthalus:
a nice reliant automobile...

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

Glad I am a drummer.

I think I'll find a great picture of a monkey with a bright red ass and have Ghostdawwg make me a big sticker.

I'll trim the sticker to cover the tremolo cover on the back (upside down) so that while playing, I can flip the guitar up and flash some monkey ass at people. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

Quote:

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Originally posted by Chairman Kaga:
Glad I am a drummer.

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, because everyone knows you only need one drum... [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Butthead Voice}

"Uhh.... Hey baby... wanna pet my monkey?..."

[img]tongue.gif[/img]

Quote:

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Originally posted by That Chet Guy:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Chairman Kaga:
Glad I am a drummer.

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah, because everyone knows you only need one drum... [img]wink.gif[/img] </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ufff.....for a moment I was thinking you were going to say "stick"

Quote:

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Originally posted by MM4:
Ufff.....for a moment I was thinking you were going to say "stick"

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, you need two sticks, but can keep the extra wherever you want.

I just figure if you can have a drum set on stage, you should have a guitar set there too.

Apparently, they haven't imported the monkey model into the states yet... it's only available in Spain and Asia.

I'm talking to a shop in Jersey to see if they'll import one for me. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]