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Okay, I get the cat and dog posts...maybe you were trying to start up conversation about pets?? But this I don't get. If there is any meaning to this then please explain...otherwise, stop posting things that have no point to them. Please.
A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow"
There is a joke, very lame, but what the hey... post jokes.
Ooh, the requirement should be to post *lame* jokes! Now if only I could remember the one I thought was hilarious that everyone else thought was stupid...
Oh well, here's another one. There were 3 tomatoes walking along. A mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato was lagging behind, so the daddy tomato turned around, squished him, and said, "ketchup!"
*groans*
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Cuz Thanksgiving was just around the corner.
What time should you go to the dentist?
At Tooth Hurty (2:30)
A man walks into a doctor's office with peas in his ears and carrots up his nose. He says "Doctor, I don't feel well." The doctor says "You're not eating right."
More later...
Okay...one of the little girls I used to babysit was in Girl Scouts and they told this joke...I think its kinda gross but the kids liked it...
"Why was the cannibal kicked out of Girl Scouts?"
"Because she ate a Brownie".
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL... okay, as a kid, I do like that joke [img]tongue.gif[/img] . I remember hearing that in Girl Scouts, too [img]smile.gif[/img] .Quote:
Originally posted by StarTrekCaptain:
Okay...one of the little girls I used to babysit was in Girl Scouts and they told this joke...I think its kinda gross but the kids liked it...
"Why was the cannibal kicked out of Girl Scouts?"
"Because she ate a Brownie".
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Uhhhh, I always heard this as a dirty joke. As in, replace cannibal with a teenage boy, LOLQuote:
Originally posted by StarTrekCaptain:
Okay...one of the little girls I used to babysit was in Girl Scouts and they told this joke...I think its kinda gross but the kids liked it...
"Why was the cannibal kicked out of Girl Scouts?"
"Because she ate a Brownie".
I haven't heard the joke that way...maybe I'm naive or something, but I don't get the joke that way?
(I'm not syaing I WANT to get it, though LOL) [img]smile.gif[/img]
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">LOL, I was gonna say... I could explain it but I think it would take a pm to do so. Im not so sure on how adult this board is supposed to be [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]Quote:
Originally posted by StarTrekCaptain:
I haven't heard the joke that way...maybe I'm naive or something, but I don't get the joke that way?
(I'm not syaing I WANT to get it, though LOL) [img]smile.gif[/img]
The other thing is, it kinda doesn't make sense that way because the joke is about why someone got kicked out of Girl Scouts...but a boy can't join Girl Scouts anyways...its for girls. So there's another thing I don't get. LOL. Oh well. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Of course, in "my" version, I don't know where you'd really find a cannibal anyway either.
I think it was; "why did the boy scout get kicked out his troop? Because he ate a brownie." Im pretty sure thats how it actually went. I remember the punchline perfectly, just cant quite recall the bit leading up to it [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]
What's the difference between pea soup and Roast beef?
Any one can roast beef......
I told this joke in the joke section in my old schools news paper and they had a fit because it wasn't 'appropriate'!
If you want a sick joke I've got one for you:
What makes Ellen D.(You know that lady with to daytime talk show) similar and differant from the Titanic?
They both sank. But Titanic only sank once.
Now that's a nasty joke!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't get it... do I want to get it? lolQuote:
Originally posted by MissCurlyCat:
If you want a sick joke I've got one for you:
What makes Ellen D.(You know that lady with to daytime talk show) similar and differant from the Titanic?
They both sank. But Titanic only sank once.
Now that's a nasty joke!
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't get it... do I want to get it? lol</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'll explain the first one:Quote:
Originally posted by Oh-Canada:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by MissCurlyCat:
If you want a sick joke I've got one for you:
What makes Ellen D.(You know that lady with to daytime talk show) similar and differant from the Titanic?
They both sank. But Titanic only sank once.
Now that's a nasty joke!
Anyone can roast beef but not everyone can PEA soup , do you get it now???
I'm not going to explain the other joke anymore than this:
It's about Ellen Degeneres always falling.
Understand now? [img]smile.gif[/img]
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 20, 2006 07:34 PM: Message edited by: MissCurlyCat ]</font>
Let's not post any more jokes about people, ok? At least not using certain names. (Blond jokes, for example, are ok.)
Thanks!
Tra
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">So blond jokes are okay? [img]graemlins/wonder.gif[/img]Quote:
Originally posted by Tra:
Let's not post any more jokes about people, ok? At least not using certain names. (Blond jokes, for example, are ok.)
Thanks!
Tra
I don't have a problem with blond jokes. They're ok yes.
I think the general rule with jokes is that we should tell them if we think they're funny (or so stupid they have to be funny) but never tell a joke to go out of the way to offend anyone. I don't think anyone has done this, but I'm just saying.
Anyway...
As for jokes...I've got a blond joke for you....
A blond was down on her luck and needed some money. ONe day she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She waited outside a local elementary school by an old tree for just the right child to come out of the building. When she saw him, she grabbed him. She pinned a note on his shirt. The note said "I have been kidnapped. If you ever want to see me again put $10,000 in a paper bag by the oak tree in front of the school." Then she sent the boy home...
The next day she came to the oak tree to find a paper bag by the oak tree with $10,000 in it! Along with the bag there was a note saying "How can you do this to a fellow blond?!?"
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 26, 2006 05:28 PM: Message edited by: Tra ]</font>
LOL!
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
hah!