People I work with

The guy who sits behind me at work is so fat, he can't wipe his own arse. This means as the day goes on, he increasingly smells of shit. If I'm lucky, he won't poo until after lunch, but on Friday, he took his first dump at 10.30! By the end of the day I was almost suffocating!

If he doesn't move, it's okay. The problem is when he sits down - his chair let's out a little puff of guffy air which heads straight for me. When he walks past is a problem too.

I should bring in an air freshener, but I don't want him to ask why I've got an air freshener on my desk. I suppose I could say "Because I need some fresh air." He's a nice guy, so it's kind of a delicate subject.

On the plus side, the women I sit next to is very cute. :)

Oh, and I know that the thread should be "People with whom I work", but heck, it's Monday morning...

[img]graemlins/gulp.gif[/img]

Plus, I know he said he was a nice bloke and everything, but he's a borderline racist. We have some Chinese women at work and when they're with each other, they speak Chinese. One day, this guy (we'll call him Jack, since that's his name) mimicked them to us while we were at the pub. He simply said "Ching chong ching chong", while pulling his eyes with his fingers to make them slanty. I thought people stopped doing that in 1981.

This racism is merely a part of a general deriding of everything. I'm sure he thinks it makes him look adult and world-weary. I think it makes him look immature and scared of saying he likes anything for fear of ridicule.

Does anyone else work with someone they'd like to make fun of on a barely-visited internet forum?

That reminds me of one of the nurses I used to work with. I'd chat with her sometimes outside the facility while we were smoking. She wore more make-up than Tammy Faye Baker. We also worked with a number of Filipino women. Tammy Faye wasn't exactly racist, but didn't like when the other nurses would speak tagalog around her. She told me, "I just know they're talking about me."

I replied, "Probably. They talk about you in english when you're not around." Flicked my cigarette and wandered off. I enjoy fucking with people like that. Especially if they deserve it. :)

Sorry 'bout your stinky co-worker. Take up smoking. Kills the sense of smell rather adequately. ;)

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ October 09, 2006 04:37 PM: Message edited by: JaceSan ]</font>

You can't smoke in the office. Go figure: stinking of shit, that's fine; smoking, no no no no.

Talking of clumsy racism, I share a "pod" (ie, bunch of desks pushed together) with five other people. The cute Austrian, and a Greek woman who I can't work out if I fancy or not. Then there are two guys, an Irish/Spanish guy who's not really Spanish at all, and a guy from Mauritius. He's got dark skin.

One day, the Irish/Spanish guy asked the man from Mauritius if he knew any decent Indian restaurants. He said "No. Why would I?" and the Catholic replied "Oh, you know, it's part of your culture and all..." and then he trailed off, realising what he'd said.

He tried to make a joke about it, by asking about Chinese restaurants too, but it was too late. The Mauritian didn't take offence, but it was still quite funny.

Oh well, mostly my co-workers are just homophobes. Not in a nasty way, just in an ignorant way.

One of them is very scared (she's really "phobic") by homosexual guys. She would comment harshly every time she sees two guys together, no matter if they are just in a meter radius from each other, no matter if they really are gay. She says things as "it's the trend nowadays".

We call her "grandma" cause she's 34, the oldest in a rather young group.

I am getting pissed at my coworker A. who likes considering with a certain disdain other people's passions and hobbies. He says disdainful things at me every time I say something about liking comics. Next time I swear I'm going to give him a proper answer, cause he's getting on my nerves more than he would if he joked about lesbians.

And then there are the secreteries, who haven't realized they work for the firm, not for the boss, so everybody who is not boss is automatically considered a piece of furniture.

Which is not considering we do all the work. Well, some of us do, others just help keeping the air saturated with C02.

And another thing (I love saying that) have you noticed how often people ask you what you're eating, and then when you tell them, they say "That's bad for you"? The next time someone says that I'm going to throw what I'm eating against the wall and then hug them while sobbing "You saved my life, man."

I think you ought to mention it to Mr Stinky, not while at work but in private some place. Do a little research, perhaps there's a medical device that can help? The bum equivalant of a back-brush?
I have the IBS, so I need to clean up after an 'attack' otherwise...eeeew!

I'm especially sensitive to B.O. it really sets me off. Twice in different daycares there's been a woman (from India, not sure if its cultural or what) who's stank to high heaven. You could smell it across the room. If she walked down the hall it would linger for 2-3 minutes.
In both cases my co-workers were too chicken to say anything, so I had to chat with the boss. Ugh!

Nah. I'll just get an air freshener and hide it somewhere near my face.

In other news, I've deduced that I really have no chance at all with the women I fancy at work.

Maybe they think I'm the one who stinks of shit.

Today, the guy who sits next to me (who doesn't stink) was talking to the Greek woman (who he fancies) while eating an orange. All of a sudden, mid-sentence, he makes a noise like a cat hacking up a hair ball and spits out a pip.

Class.

Plus, I just went for a poo, and the guy in the cubicle next to mine wiped his bottom nine times. Ater the fifth time he took paper from the roll, I thought, surely it's clean by now. Apparently not.

Anyway, the number of times you wipe your arse is nothing to write home about.

HUmmm, 9 times eh? That's really weird.
I mean, I have bad things going on back there sometimes. If things get really bad I use a wet-wipe thingie. A diaper wipe! The best invention since sliced beer!
Perhaps that's what he needs, they do make them for adults too, eh?

And this morning, the guy who fancies the Greek woman must have a cold because he's wearing waaay too much after shave. My workplace is just one big nasal rollercoaster.

Now he's chewing bubblegum and making popping noises, which is really annoying, and he's listening to music on his headphones and waving his head back and forth like a mental patient who's just has his TV watching priviledges taken away from him.

Today he came in early and sat down at his desk, stuck his hand up his t-shirt and liberally applied deodorant to his armpits. Why wouldn't you do that in the toilet? Do I brush my teeth at my desk? No.

He's weird.

Then he hocked up some phlegm into our shared waste paper basket.

On the plus side, when I joined this place, no one said "Good morning" when they arrived at the office. Now they do. That's a good sign.

And the cute Austrian woman came in this morning and took off her coat by flapping her arms like a bird. She's adorable.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ October 24, 2006 04:04 AM: Message edited by: Ersby ]</font>

This morning I woke up at 2.00am and couldn't get back to sleep.

I keep glimpsing the guy next to me dabbing his chin with a tissue. Is he dribbling? Maybe he squeezed a spot. Boy, I'm glad I didn't see that.

So we went to the pub at lunchtime, and I noticed that the guy who stinks of shit has a habit of simply repeating whatever funny things other people say, but adding the prefix "Yeah, ..." That's bizarre.

Just now, I went to the toilet, and as I came out I went past this Spanish woman who I fancy who was at the water cooler. I smiled, but she looked a bit awkward. I guess that most women are unwilling to make eye contact with men as they're coming out of the toilet.

Even though I'd washed my hands and stuff.

The people you work with are weird.
I hope you make lots of $$ to compensate...

Well, everybody has his/her flaws. God only knows the flaws they see in you [img]tongue.gif[/img]

(kidding)

I'm sure there are things I do that get on their nerves. It's only fair, after all.

Today the guy next to me is listening to comedy on his headphones and chuckling to himself. When he laughs like that, he sounds like a baby with hiccups.

Oh, and I don't make a lot of money. Ho hum.

I work alone these days.. it's good.

*laughs about the flapping arms cute chick*

I've done that to get some coats off. You know what bothers me the most about the students that come into the lab. Some don't hang the lab coats back up on the rack before they leave.

I imagine catching one of them one of these days and strangling them with it.

Hey, it's Monday morning! Perhaps I should talk about other people for a change.

There's two guys who work here who started on the same day, sit next to each other, and who always go around together. So much so that, although I know their names, I don't know which one is which.

Apparently, they're not gay. There are six gay men on our floor, and eighteen straight. I also think there's one repressed homosexual, but my gaydar's out of date by now, so what do I know?

The mature, German lady that's been a secretary in my dept. for years just entered rehab. o_O

Did anyone notice anything strange before she went?

Anyway, I just went into the bathroom to wash my face. I'm at the basin, washing, when another guy comes in and goes over to the cubicle. First thing he does is flush the toilet. I think "Was there a poo in there?" If so, he's going to think it was me. So I quickly debate whether or not to say "Was there a poo left in there? If so, it wasn't me." but that would just sound weird and probably more suspicious than if I just said nothing. Then I heard him pissing so I couldn't talk to him anyway, so I left.

Toilet etiquette: it's a minefield.

Bubble Toast!!

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ October 31, 2006 11:32 AM: Message edited by: Ersby ]</font>

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Originally posted by Ersby:
Did anyone notice anything strange before she went?

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<font size="2" face="Comic sans ms, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah. She kind of upset the young Indian girl that works in the office with her when she came in drunk ranting about her husband. ;)

I was sitting in a bathroom stall when I overheard this snippet of conversation between a couple of students.

"Can you show it to me?"
"Not right now. I'll email you a picture though."

o_O

Recently, the Irish guy next to me (who resembles Batfink, or Eddie Munster) has started talking about his trips to the gym in an attempt at impressing the Greek woman. Apparently, last night he did two hours there.

Also, this morning they were talking about the Greek woman's flatmate, who is an accountant, and he said, all sarcastic like, "That's interesting, I bet he's a real party animal." At this point I wanted to point out that he's a data entry clerk, and we don't exactly rank highly up the list of Exciting Jobs for Fascintaing People.

Isn't that weird how people make fun of others for having the same faults as themselves?

Today, my hygenically-challenged friend already stinks, and it's only nine o'clock.

It's going to be a long day.

I just borrowed some Olbas Oil off a co-worker to put on a tissue and hold over my nose. I don't have a cold, I just need something to overpower the stench.

It's amazing - almost biblical.

I came back from lunch early today, and the office was still pretty empty. The Italian woman who works here was showing someone some things on the internet (from what I could see) and every now and again she'd quietly sing him a song.

I didn't recognise the song, but listening to her was a very nice moment and it made me happy.

Today is her last day. :( She's going back to Italy.

Is she attractive? Might she be interested in a nice little girl from Rome? [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

If she isn't, I would be. [img]wink.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Most of my coworkers are pretty cool (I'm now a kind of utility infielder at an arts and crafts store. Pizza place sucked to work at) but there's an FES (front end supervisor) who can be a pain. On the days I have a register I have to report to her, and have her schedule my breaks so the registers are covered. Fine by me, makes sense, but she tells me I can't have a break at a certain time because it's too busy, then I see she's scheduled herself at that time...

Also, when I'm a back-up cashier, she will not understand that I'm BACK-UP. I have other duties. She'll call me up front and ask me to do go-backs (return stuff brought to the registers, but not bought) which is the cashier's job. Never mind we have a warehouse full of stuff that needs to be put on the floor and that it's my job to put it there, she needs her go-backs done. My favorite is when I told her the managers want me stocking so I can't do go-backs, then she told me to get on a register so another cashier could do go-backs. Talk about a lack of clue...

Quote:

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Originally posted by 3peanuts:
Is she attractive? Might she be interested in a nice little girl from Rome? [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

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<font size="2" face="Comic sans ms, Helvetica, sans-serif">She is (was) attractive. She's from Rimini, as I recall. Studying Politics.

Today I have a headache, and I've been told I have to move out in two weeks, so I have to start looking for somewhere new. Uffa.

Well, this is interesting. Seems like over the last week and a bit, I've been shut out of some of the office's social gatherings (ie, in the pub, after work). I simply haven't been invited. What I think has happened (and I suppose I could ask, but who the hell cares) is that about four months ago I asked out this woman at work. She said no, since office romances were a bad idea, etc. Recently she's been going out with this other guy from work, so I'm guessing she feels awkward about being with him while I'm around. Maybe she thinks I'll make a scene. To be honest I don't mind. She must have asked the others not to invite me, though.

So, no more after-work drinks for me, which I suppose I can live with, but it's a little awkward. I still go to the pub at lunch, and it's clear that they can't really talk about what happened the previous night with me there, since I think we're all pretending that nothing's going on. I guess I could ask, but the idea of complaining because people don't want you around any more seems a bit weird.

Funny how I've been complaining about people here, and now I've found myself out of the loop with these other people. Karma.

And another thing!

It'll be someone's birthday soon, a woman who I like and I have a lot of time for, and the card went round the office for everyone to sign. I was one of the first to sign and I did a little drawing in the corner and a quick message. Then I saw it again once it had been around the office: only about six people had signed it! Bizarre.

I recently found out about not being invited either.

Looks like my coworkers go out together pretty often, never inviting me.

The only few times I've been invited it was cause somebody let the thing slip when I was there.

I can live without. It's just history repeating. I still try to understand why, like when I was little. I cannot see anything wrong with me. So much I don't fit their requirements to go out together.

I'm rather pissed to be true, and it just adds itself to the heaps of depression motives already piling up like a stone on my heart.

It's weird, isn't it? And I'm sure it's down to this woman. I went to the pub this lunch, and she wasn't there, and everything was cool. We all chatted and joked and stuff. (btw, 3p, I'd always invite you to the pub.)

On the plus side, work is putting on free Japanese lessons, and I'm going to my first tomorrow. :)

*am happy*

Oh, and between trying to turn off the ultra-ugly smilies, and deleting "edited" messages, this is now the fourth time I've edited this otherwise perfectly simple message. Bah!

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ November 07, 2006 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Ersby ]</font>