Movie quotes

I cant remember if we've done this before, but I thought it would be cool to start a thread where we post our favorite quotes from movies

I love lamp [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

i piss excellence

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!

the words of the great clark griswold
"I think you're all [censored] in the head. We're ten hours from the [censored] fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much [censored] fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our [censored] smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're [censored]! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy [censored]!"

Clark!!!

another clark griswold gem
"Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey [censored] he is. Hallelujah. Holy [censored]. Where's the Tylenol?"

since i saw this last night
"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"

Come on, Clark, the night is young... they're giving away free hot sandwiches at the blood bank.

from death to smoochy.......which for anybody who has never seen it......its hysterical
"Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam [censored]!"

and.....
" What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick [censored]! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A [richard]! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough."

"I am your dam guide, Arnie, please don't wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?"

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset
Stacy: Open it.
Wayne Campbell: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne Campbell: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne Campbell: I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net

One of my all-time favorite movies, that I brought up in a seperate thread yesterday:

"One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled. "


"No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD. "

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. "

from idiocracy
"Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a [richard] or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're [censored] up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your [censored]'s all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like..."

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?</div></div>
i almost forgot how funny that actually was

"I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your [censored]' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your [censored]' head open again. 'Cause I'm [censored]' stupid. I don't give a [censored] about jail. That's my business. That's what I do."

"I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers."

"Go home and get your [censored] shine box."

I Am Mclovin!!

What's it like having a gun?? It's amazing, it's like having 2 cocks, if one of your cocks could kill somebody

from gummo
"I knew a guy who was dyslexic. He was also cross-eyed. So everything came out right."

"There once was a girl from Salt Lake City, with two cord legs and two rubber titties. She loved electricity, but she burned off gas, with a V8 [censored], and a Cadillac ass."

"Yeah, but when was the last time 80,000 people showed up to watch a kid do a damn chemistry experiment? Why don't you stick the bow-tie up your ass? "

I'm a [censored] senior, they should be suckin on my ballsack

"Ok Banks. Ready, Hut! Come on, Banks, you're supposed to be hitting a sled, not humping a butterfly! I want you mean, I want you nasty! I want you to eat raw meat! Get your ass outta here! Alright, Next! "

" I hope you stay tuned as the Texas State marching band does its salute to gun racks and open beverage containers; which is only legal in Texas. "

"The male erection. Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Mortis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack's magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger... oh, and a pedro."

"Jonathan Moxon your are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car."

Clint Eastwood "Dirty Harry" I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?



Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?

Bubba - Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.

It was sexy, it was erotic, I give it a 9.5 I still got wood

"Wise man say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."

"A 10... a 10... a [censored] 10!"

Mox "I don't think I have a boney ass, I think I have a very nice ass"

Billy Bob "Well it is kinda nice"

"She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw."

"Forget about it is like if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! you know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mingia those peppers, forget about it. But it's also like saying Go to hell! too. Like, you know, like "Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?" and Paulie says "Forget about it!" Sometimes it just means forget about it."

"15 kilos of cocaine? That's nothing. I piss 15 kilos."

"You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cos I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass."

hey chavo, be perfect.

You'll shoot your eye out!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: elp6n</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You'll shoot your eye out!</div></div>

I KNEW that was coming. You didn't have the Nostradamus to see that one coming from you... [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

I was obligated.

I've got more where that came from!

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy [censored] walrus-looking piece of [censored]! Get the [censored] off of my obstacle! Get the [censored] down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"


"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, [censored] beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian [censored]. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"


"Who said that? Who the [censored] said that? Who's the slimy little communist [censored], twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy [censored] godmother said it. Out-[censored]-standing. I will PT you all until you [censored] die. I'll PT you until your [censored] are sucking buttermilk."




Gonna stop there but Gunny Hartman's whole dialogue is some of the best stuff ever.

I dont know if you know this, but im kind of a big deal

"Is it dead?"
"WTF do ya mean is it dead, you just splattered it across the f'in wall!"


"We go by the rule of thumb around here....

Do you know what the rule of thumb is? It was the legal size of a stick that a man could use to beat his wife!

Not much of a stick, maybe it should have been rule of wrist."

"They took the bar! The whole [censored] bar!"

" Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son"

"Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the [censored] Peace Corps."

"I was checkin' the specs on the end line of the...rotary...girder...I'm retarded."?