Fairness needed in high school sports

Fairness needed in high school sports
To the Editor:

The school year is almost over, and with it the high school sports season will soon end. Before another year begins, I just wanted to express my opinion on the unfairness in sports.

During the current season, many devoted parents found themselves on the road more often than at any other time, dropping off and taking their children to practices for the lengthy period that participating in sports demanded. These parents had one hope, to see their kids play what they love to play.

Fairness should be Number 1! However, that is not always the case. Student playing time depends on the coaches. They put in the players that they deem good, and they bench the players that they see having less "talents."?

If you go to the games, you often see numbers of favored players playing most of the time, and you also see that same numbers of "un-favored"? players (players that are equal as well), sitting on the bench for the enduring session.

Is it fair for all those students? I say definitely not! The players all put in the same amount of practice time. They devote their energy, effort, and sweat in hoping the coach would give them some considerations, and play them once in a while. I think that some coaches believe that they are gods. It seems to me that some coaches have no interest in being fair, nor do I believe they care about their unfortunate players' feelings. Above all, how they can look at the parents, who sit on the bleachers day after day, straight in the eyes without a slightest conscience?

I think this is a type of mental abuse? If you ask the question "Who gives the coaches such power in deciding who to play, and who is to warm up the benches?"? I believe the answer is, we all do: the parents, the students, the players, and the school administrators. We keep quiet. We go along with the coaches' choices for picking which players to be in the spotlight, and which players to use as back up victims.

We gladly hand over our children for this form of mental abuse. Yes, abuse! If you think about it, and ask yourself, how do those who are being benched feel? Consider their emotions. Are they less valuable? Are they that bad? Why are they on the team? What does it do to your child's mental viewpoints? Are their star player teammates superiors over them because they get to play more? No, I don't think so.

I believe no player is better than any other player on the team. Those that think they are better are full of hot air. They just gain more experiences from playing more. They are good because they get to play. They have confidence in themselves since the coach places his trust in them. Granted, some are born with natural talents, and that can't be denied. Play them. Play them more. Just don't forget the other kids that are there, too.

Equal playing time should be considered. What if the coaches give their players equal playing time? What is the scenario? The talented players still stand out. The scout will pick them for their colleges. The other players will get to play, though they may not get the scholarship they know they are not offered. Would this situation be more ideal? Sure, it would be. It is a win-win scenario. Teammates will feel responsible for their losses and wins, sharing the same mutual concepts. We win as a team. We lose as a team.

Everyone has the same opportunity to play. Everyone puts in the same effort. Now, if the coach plays only a certain number of players every game, and they lose that game, the rest of the players will just shrug their shoulders "Ah... I had nothing to do with it,"? and take no care in it. If they win, still "good for them,"? and have no pride. Is this a team? Where are the principles? Where is the union in being a team? What happens to team's spirit? I believe there is none, because there is unfairness and injustice.

I believe coaches should be a good role model. But I believe some coaches favor players. I think some are influenced by the last name of their players in the school system. I believe coaches do what they want. I think that coaches decide who they are scared of, and who they like. I think has been happening since the beginning of time, and continues to exist today. I believe that we are, as parents, teachers, school staffs, students, spectators, and players, guilty in giving them this power.

In my opinion, these practices have to be stopped. They have to change, to be modified. Those in authority need to be taught to make things better. I believe all those in authority need to be good models for our children, and our children's children. In my opinion, decisions on who gets to play and who does not should not be monopolized by coaches, when these decisions make our children feel low and unwanted. I think our children should not be victims because they like to play sports. If they try out and make the team, I believe all students should have the same chance to play as their teammates, to be treated fairly, to have the same rights. What's fair is fair! And what is right is right! This is wrong, very wrong!

Exercise your human rights. Imagine if you are discriminated against on a job, what would you do? You hire a lawyer and take it to court, right? And yet, we live in silence when it comes to high school sports policy. Why? What happens if we take a stand? What happens if we try to make it better for our kids, our friends, our students, our teammates? Is living in a better world going to make people care more for other people? Equal employment, equal rights and equal opportunity, we hear this every day in our lives, and yet, we do not apply it when it comes to high school sports policies.

Where are the players' rights in sports? Parents of all players, if you don't see the kids play for so many games, stand up and walk out of that gym. Players, look at your teammates, who are also your friends, if they don't get to play-walk out! Spectators, if you see a certain number of kids just sit there after 30 minutes or so, cheer loudly for them. Get the coach to put them in. They are your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends. They deserve the same respect as others.

Stop the adults' bully system in school. I believe in many cases, school athletic directors, assistant coaches, teachers, and principals condone the abuses. Schools advertise that they won't allow bullying and have a program to support that concept, but I think that as long as it is between coaches and players, teammate to teammate, it allowed, tolerated.

I think coaches should learn to treat all players with fairness and justice. They are role models to teach our children to be good people. I think coaches should give our sports players the same rights, same chances, same opportunity to play. Make them better. They will always remember good coaches who have high values, principles, integrity and make a difference in their lives more than the coaches who do not.

I believe high school athletic competition should be fun but that it must also be a significant part of a sound educational program. I believe that those who coach student-athletes are, first and foremost, teachers who have a duty to assure that their sports programs promote important life skills, development of good character and the six core ethical values: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and good citizenship, the "Six Pillars of Character"? that are supposedly taught in our schools.

I think the highest potential of sports is achieved when teacher-coaches consciously follow a TEAM approach, to Teach, Enforce, Advocate and Model these values, committed to the ideal of pursuing victory with honor. Finally, I believe that sincere and good-faith efforts to honor the words and spirit of these ethics will improve the quality of the programs and the well-being of the student athletes.

Rebecca Henry
Big Stone Gap

Somebody else posted this a few minutes ago and then deleted it.

I saw this in the Post Online. Obviously a lot of thought and planning went in to this. Interesting. We all have our opinions.

wow.

Holy Jesus....lol...things are how they are...and have always been that way. Why don't we just give em a titty to suck on and put pampers on em between innings or at halftime. That is ridiculous. I got an idea tho...why don't we just let all of the all stars on the bench quit and make their own team where they can shine and mommy can be so proud of em....cuz I'm sure the author of that piece is quite assured that their kid is one of the best players on the team...whatever team it is. Get it through people, you get guaranteed playing time in little league and peanut. At many high schools tho (PV included) some folks play cuz of who they are as much as their talent...but if you are a good player your time to shine will come. It's always been that way and it always will. So why whine about it ? Realize tho, that when it comes to playing time...Coach is God..lol

There you go leave the playing time up the parents, that would be smart. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] Everybody thinks their kid is a superstar.

The comment about no player is any better than another on the team they just seem that way because they play more. Give me a break. I sat on the bench for a solid 2 years before getting playing time. I put in the work and I got better and I earned my starting job. The players that were ahead of me, yeah, I will say it, they were better than me and I knew it. This article is crazy, I quit reading it halfway through due to the..............I quit, I don't have enough room or time to even make the full reply I would like to.

Some people on here are going to tear this article a new one. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]

How do you give 11 baseball players equal playing time? How about 7 basketball players? How about 29 football players? If you want equal playing time, play Upward Sports. You still don't get equal playing time. Rec leagues and Little League doesn't even require equal playing time. By the time a kid gets to play school ball he/she must realize that it is time for the cream to rise to the top. I agree that a coach should reward those players who come out and bust their butts in practice with some playing time, but you can't always do that in close games.

Ms. Henry will never convence any high school coach what she's trying to get across. HS coaches are getting paid to do a job, and in some cases, if they aren't successful, they will lose their jobs. There are schools that keep coaches that don't win, but those schools are the ones with the poor facilities because they aren't winning. Winning usually brings fans and fans spend money. I have officiated all over southwest VA and if you look at the schools that have good programs, they have winning records. Look at the schools that have poor facilities, you will not see winning records.

Enough said.

Lets take out the scoreboards. Put everyone you have on the field. Stop and teach at every whistle. Come on people, lets also teach what the real world is like. I guess we should have 288 millions CEOs in America to that are all millionaires. Wouldn't that be nice?

I have a feeling Ms/Mrs. Henry never played an organized sport at a competitive level in her life. Or, more accurately, lil Johnny Henry (I am just throwing out a fictious name because I have no clue who this person is) either didn't make a team, or was a lower end role player on some team.

Little League is great everyone gets playing time (not always equal time though)

What must be decided is if High school sports will be operated as a rec league or a completive league. IMHO there are already rec leagues out there and nothing keeping kids that want a less organized experience from meeting on some where on the weekends to play whatever [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]

IMHO In HS (and JV to a lesser extent) winning should be your goal (not saying winning at any price but winning none the less)

Thinking about the post the lady seemed to throw around lawsuits alot and we live in a lawsuit happy world......I wonder if anyone would file one if there kid got hurt because it was little Jonnies turn to play center even though in practice he had shown that he was not ready for PT in a game.

High school sports is competitive. It became competitive when district, region, and state championships were given out. How many rec league games have you been to where that weren't competitive? Even if there is no official score kept, some parent knows how many points, hits, yards gained, or tackles that their child had. It even happens in Upward sports. I have seen it.

Is this a joke?

If it came from the Post editorials..it usually is a joke.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sup-rbeast</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If it came from the Post editorials..it usually is a joke.</div></div> Letters to the editor are just letters submitted by members of the public.

I can agree though, that to handle organized sports and playing time the way this writer wants would be doing no favors to the kids. All kids are not created equal. Additionally real life is not fair - some things just have to be learned the hard way.

Ms. Henry,

You may or may not be a reader of this forum. I was once one of those players that you speak of. I was one of those players that sat the bench every game that I played during my varsity career at a prominent high school well known for high school success in all of its sports programs.
Yes, I was one of those players that felt at times that maybe I was not being given a fair shake at being able to prove myself. But I did not go around blaming my coach for things that were going on. I probably played all of 8 minutes if that over the course of 20 games during my senior year... and I was a player that played both basketball and baseball every year of my high school career. My parents were people who cared about my feelings and were no doubt disappointed. But what I disliked about my senior year in basketball, it wasn't the fact that I wasnt playing as much as I thought I should be. It was the fact that I was playing on a team that was very selfish and had no togetherness. We were a .500 team if that and if I had any desires... it was to be able to get out there just to see if I could add something to our team and help us out. I loved the game of basketball and I still do to this day. I will elaborate later.
You talk about a coach not playing all of the players equally, well ma'am.. it is the job of the coach...on the varsity level... to win games. I dont care if you have a freshman playing over a senior. A coach can only do so much with what he has....but it is the job of the coach to put out the best players, or the ones with the best abilities, on the field or on the court in order to be fulfilling the job that he is doing to the best of his ability.
To me, a coach playing certain players over others isn't an example of a character flaw. To me, that is a coach just showing what life is all about. I'm not going to deny that there isn't some politics that goes on in certain places.... but for the most part.....coaches are going to do everything possible to get the w's on the varsity level. Its a hard pill to swallow I know but it is the truth.
There are some kids who may come out for a team and are kept on the team because of their great attitude or because they may have a desire to be on the team and they are well-liked by some of the other players who are already on the team, but that does not give them the right to be out there playing. Even if that is the case, I feel that the coach should be upfront with the players and talk to them personally one on one about where they are ability wise and where they stand on the team. At the time that I was playing, there are times that I would have personally liked to have talked to my coach just to know where I stood. I've looked back on game film from my senior year and I can watch it now and easily tell you why I did not play a great deal. I was little and I wasnt strong at all. Yes.. I could probably shoot it a little bit... but to play the game of basketball... or any sport.. especially in todays times... you better have a little strength as well. I was young and I did not hit my growth spurt and put on that extra added strength that I needed until college. But as little as I played in high school and as much as I practiced during my senior year.... I was proud to be a part of the basketball family at my school and today... I'm even more proud.
Because even though I practiced my backside off and played little... it did not dampen my love for the game. I practiced day in and day out because I loved the game and I loved the aspect of being apart of a team.... traveling to different places... meeting new people....when I went to college... I made friends with a lot of people that unknown to me... our h.s. team had faced over the course of my varsity career and they became some of the best friends I ever had simply because we had that aspect of our lives in common.
But every practice I went to... every ounce of sweat I dropped just like the other players.... every suicide I ran... I ran it with a drive to get that much better each and every day. It was frustrating yes to sit there hoping that maybe you would get a chance to prove yourself.... but if that time didnt come.... it may have been frustrating but it didnt dampen the love that I had for the game.
I went to college and played pickup games with some of the players who played ball at the college that I attended... and was actually asked by a few of them why I didn't walk on. I told them that I feel that if it had been mean't for me to play college ball... I feel that it would have happened. But it wasnt and I knew that after college ball, there wasnt going to be any NBA tryout or anything like that. I went to the college for the sole purpose of one day to teach... and who knows.. maybe coach as well. I may not have had the ability to play... but I had a love for the game and I had a desire and hunger to know all about the game and learn of it.
While I was in college, during my breaks from school, I would go with my cousins up to another prominent basketball school and play with them some... which led to me playing some pickup games against that school's team and getting to know the head coach in the process. My junior and senior year of college, I did some volunteer work helping out that high school's basketball program... and then once I graduated... I was hired as a varsity assistant and an 8th grade coach.
I look back on my life now and I consider myself one of the luckiest guys and one of the most blessed guys around. If my senior year taught me anything... it taught me that you may not be able to get what you want at that moment... but if you keep working... sooner or later.. the dreams you had... they'll be happening.
The dreams I had as a senior? I wanted to play in a state championship game. I wanted to win that medal and say yes... I was a part of a team that was the best. But you know what... it didnt happen. And you know... thats life. Sometimes what you want.. you dont get. But it doesnt mean that you give up on it. What embarrassed me the most? Probably some of the times that my parents went to my coach ..... even when some of other teammates saw it and talked to him venting frustrations about my lack of playing time. Even to this day... if I want something... I want something because I deserve it... not because someone gave it to me. And you know what... sometimes... it does help to know people to get what you want... but Ms. Henry... thats life. I guarantee that there have been times that you have got a few things that you wanted or desired to have simply because you knew someone that helped you get it. If you want to get a house... if you know someone that can help you get it... I'm sure you would not pass up the help. But what about those same people that are looking to buy that same house you want.... that may not know that one person who can help you get that house you want. Is it right that you know that person more and may have more pull with them than those other people? Yes.. this doesnt deal with basketball... this deal with a life situation. But as coaches... while it is the job of the coach to exemplify good character and be a good leader... that doesn't mean giving equality to all.... on the middle school level... I think its different somewhat because you want all your kids to be given a good look. You dont want a good one to slip through the cracks. But for the varsity level, you want to win. And if you are on the varsity level as a player... it isnt a right for that kid to be there. It is a privilege. If he is on the varsity basketball team, he is one of a select few that is able to go out and represent his school.... and yes.. it is frustrating not playing. I know the feeling well. But also, if the kid is there because he loves the game and is there to do whatever it takes to help the team succeed... then that is the type of player you want to have on your varsity squad. Whether he plays or not... is at the discretion of the coach and his assistants. Sometimes... coaches make mistakes. Coaches aren't gods... they are human being like anyone else. But coaches.... if they are given that position... more times than not.. its because they know what they are doing and they know what it takes to see a team succeed.
As for me, I played varsity basketball my junior and senior year and rode the bench both years. It killed me... I'll admit.. but mostly because as a student I had those dreams of going to state and being that 1000 point scorer and all that stuff. Its not wrong to have dreams... but there comes a point where you have to face reality as well. And the reality was... I did not have that ability to be the player I wanted to be at the time. With time... I did get better... but only because even after school was out... I kept playing and I kept practicing even long after I had graduated. I wasn't playing and working out to make my college team... basketball was my escape. It allowed me an escape from everything else that stressed me out in life. When I was studying for finals in college.... I would take my study break and go to the gym and shoot basketball for 30 minutes... then come back and study with a clear head. A gym, for me, was my sanctuary.
So.... what happened with me? I graduated college. I was hired as a teacher in a local county... and for the past 14 years I have worked as a high school basketball coach... and still work as one today.
In those 14 years Ms. Henry, the four teams that I have been apart of (as I have also coached girls basketball as well), I have seen the players that I have coached win a combined: 15 district championships, been to the regional tournament 13 of those 14 years, won 4 regional championships, been regional runnerup 4 times, been to the state tournament 8 times, been to the state final four 6 times and finished as state runnerup three times and win one state championship.
And if I never win a state championship game, I can say that I've been very lucky and very blessed just to have made some little difference in the lives of all my players and to have built great relationships with them... great relationships that I still have to this day. And Ms. Henry, if I had been the type of person that just gave up on it all... just because I wasnt being treated like everyone else, I wouldnt have had that drive and that hunger to keep my dream alive to see all of this happen. I've been able to do all of this... because I loved the game. God has been pretty great to me and blessed me very well and allowed me to experience all the things that I wanted to experience in high school in the past 14 years.... but more than anything... allowed me to expand and become friends with so many more people. And it would be great to win a state championship one day... but you know what the most important thing to me is now? My family and my friend... and being able to help out the former and current student athletes in their own lives if I can. Not with their game... but with their life in general. I respect any player that comes out and makes my team and while he or she may not play a lot... I'll treat them as I would that same player that starts for me because they are both going through the same thing everyday. And I will do everything in my power to help them out in whatever way possible. Sports isnt all about having the spotlight on you... its about great competition and its about seeing the team as a whole succeed... and sometimes that means some people may not be able to see as much action as a few others...but that doesnt mean that they arent part of the team. At the school where I coach, we have people who ride the bench as well... but the success we have had is all because we have players who understand that the team comes before anything. They arent happy and if they have problems, they come and talk to us about them. And we as coaches, we'll sit down ... talk things out... and the matter is resolved. But we talk to them as adults and be honest and straight forward with them. If they do not want to continue with the team, that is their choice.. but they usually stay because they know that in being apart of our team.... it is a privilege to be there and they are able to be apart of something in their lives that while they may not have fully participated in it a lot during the season... they are still apart of the team.
When that plaque is hung on the wall of the school, it doesnt show a game with the best player shooting a shot... it shows the entire team standing together. No one cares about the games and what happened in them in such a such quarter.... all that people see in the future is that plaque or that trophy that says "Champion" on it... and to be able to look back on that in the future and tell your kids stories about it... to say that you have been there and that you were apart of those great teams and tell stories about the great players that were your teammates... that is what is great about life. Even if you dont win,... if your kids know that you were apart of a team ... some kids very young realize that ..."hey.. my dad or my mom was tough to go through what it takes to do this." And that gives them the inspiration to go out and see what its all about.
So... its not about being in the spotlight. I can tell you from experience that being in the spotlight isnt all its cracked up to be.
Some parents live through their kids and put their kids in a spotlight that they dont want. Some kids are born to be in the spotlight... but are humble enough to handle it in the correct manner.
So Ms. Henry, if your kid is apart of a team... be happy that he/she was able to be apart of one. I guarantee that there are plenty others who would gladly take your kids place and ride the pine just to say that he/she was apart of a team at one point or another in their life.
And as a basketball coach for over 14 years, I can say one thing. I dont know what the situation is at the school where you are at... but you will not ever make your kid be something in life that he/she does not want to be. Dont try to live our your kids dreams through your own eyes... because it may not be his/her dreams. If he/she plays a sport, be happy that they are able to do so... even if they do or do not play a great deal, there are plenty of kids out there who would love to play that can't. I know because we had 34 come out for my team last year and we only kept 16. It was a middle school team mind you and did all of them play... some of them no. There are only so many minutes in a game. But I talked to each of them.. and each of them came to me and told me how happy and how proud they were just to be apart of the basketball family at the school where I coach now. And once they are apart of it... its something that you cant take away from them. It slims down as they get older... but that is where life kicks in. You're either going to have it or you're not. A coach has to take the best of the best. We're lucky enough at our school that we have some really great student-athletes with some great attitudes. That is why we have been so successful in the past few years. Success helps... I'll admit. But whether in a strong program or weak one... the premise is still the same. But the best product on the floor that is possible. That is not only life.... thats the American way.

sounds to me like the parnet of a kid who just sucks at sports and thought HS sports would be like little league where everybody has to play and bat

"Even Steven" ends in P-nut. The area coaches will find a way to play any kid that works hard. They might have to wait for a run away or play on kick-offs. One of the biggest problems anymore is you just don't find many people that want to work hard.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Spuds</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"Even Steven" ends in P-nut. The area coaches will find a way to play any kid that works hard. They might have to wait for a run away or play on kick-offs. One of the biggest problems anymore is you just don't find many people that want to work hard. </div></div>

True it is easier to say "The coach never gave me a chance" and cry how the world is unfair

I know it is old , but Tom played everybody. Robbins clears the bench anytime he is ahead of Appy by much at the end of the 3rd. JIB subs freely after the half. Stan runs them in and out. Jervis does too. All the area coaches pretty much do. You have to have fired up second teams for practice or you won't get any better. But some people don't like practice being their games. That is life. I never got any game time. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] Once I got out of HS ,I found I was too afraid of failing to relax and play. But it didn't kill me, I learned to get over it and go on. The toughest people in the world are the parents that get up everyday , go to a job they don't love and provide for their families. And pay their taxes.

Life isn't fair. There are winners and losers in life, why should sports be any different?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: NotSoSilentBob</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Life isn't fair. There are winners and losers in life, why should sports be any different? </div></div>
You can't have one, without the other.

I know this lady and have respect for her...I can see where she is coming from but i do not agree with her

I myself hardly got to play the 2 years i was on the team, but i do not regret any of it...At first i was mad but then I thought about it and looked at the situation...I was not as good as the starters, im short and not that fast...I was happy to be on the team and accepted my role on the team...I guarantee that I had as much fun with not a lot of PT than i would starting...Highschool sports IMO is meant for you to have a good time and experience and just have fun because most will not do anything after playing it in high school and I knew that....I didnt quit because i just loved being part of the team and if i got some PT then what the hell id take it...but most of the things ill remember about it will be practices, bus rides, coaches antics and not stuff that happens during the game...those are the stories my teammates(starters and others with more PT) and I talk about...and I still respect Coach as much as I did when i started playing...but there are always ppl thats gonna complain about there playing time, i never did it because i wouldnt know when i did get some that if it was because i bitched about it or earned it....So I see where shes coming from, but kids need to accept their role on the team and enjoy the experience and their time on the team or put in extra time to get better

Your opinion is noted, Ms. Henry, and in my opinion, I just cannot believe you are that naive. Have you ever given the thought that if your child isn't getting the playing time you feel he deserves, then he may have chosen the wrong sport...or, that you chose. As passionately as you sound about this, can it be that you are placing your dreams of glory on your child, trying to live your fantasies of glory through him? This is a very common trait among parents. What you have to realize is that there is a talent level on every team....no matter whether it is high school, jv, or little league. Now in little league, there may be more chance of the lesser tier of talent players getting good time, but at the higher levels, talent is frontline. If your child isn't in that tier, he may have to work harder to get time. If your boy isn't willing to bust it in practice and make himself seen, he's not going to get seen on Friday nights. All sports are a mirror of life. If you hold your child to this kind of attitude, you're setting him up to believe that he should just be given everything outright, from relationships to jobs. Are you going to play this same attitude on his first day on the job? Heck, call his boss yourself and tell him your son needs a raise, a corner office, a secretary, and the whole nine yards.

I was a little league basketball coach for a few years back in Appy. I had plenty of experiences with parents who thought their child should play every minute of the game. I did my best to play every kid an equal amount of time. The second year I coached, my oldest son played. He wasn't the best on the team and I knew that. I started the best players out in the first quarter and put in the reserves in the 2nd, and the same with the 3rd and 4th quarters. Even then, I had parents telling me that their child should get more playing time. My standard response soon became "From the best player on the team to the last boy on the bench, everybody gets the same time."

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mik_Mo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Your opinion is noted, Ms. Henry, and in my opinion, I just cannot believe you are that naive. Have you ever given the thought that if your child isn't getting the playing time you feel he deserves, then he may have chosen the wrong sport...<span style="color: #FF0000">or, that you chose. As passionately as you sound about this, can it be that you are placing your dreams of glory on your child, trying to live your fantasies of glory through him?</span> This is a very common trait among parents. What you have to realize is that there is a talent level on every team....no matter whether it is high school, jv, or little league. Now in little league, there may be more chance of the lesser tier of talent players getting good time, but at the higher levels, talent is frontline. If your child isn't in that tier, he may have to work harder to get time. If your boy isn't willing to bust it in practice and make himself seen, he's not going to get seen on Friday nights. All sports are a mirror of life. If you hold your child to this kind of attitude, you're setting him up to believe that he should just be given everything outright, from relationships to jobs. Are you going to play this same attitude on his first day on the job? Heck, call his boss yourself and tell him your son needs a raise, a corner office, a secretary, and the whole nine yards.

I was a little league basketball coach for a few years back in Appy. I had plenty of experiences with parents who thought their child should play every minute of the game. I did my best to play every kid an equal amount of time. The second year I coached, my oldest son played. He wasn't the best on the team and I knew that. I started the best players out in the first quarter and put in the reserves in the 2nd, and the same with the 3rd and 4th quarters. Even then, I had parents telling me that their child should get more playing time. My standard response soon became "From the best player on the team to the last boy on the bench, everybody gets the same time." </div></div>

I would have to agree. Good post Mik_Mo.

I'm hearing more and more of this bs. Sorry. but you are talking about paid coaches that in many instances sell their homes,and move their families from far away to coach. Sorry, but once t-ball and pnut football is over, it IS about winning. A coaches job is to play the best players, game plan, teach, and I hope not to offend anyone but yes....WIN. I coached little league for 2 years, pee-wee and midget football for 4 years. Yes, I got the phone calls too. I loved all my kids, but the rule book says you can only play 9 bball players, and 11 football players at a time. My son played 2 innings and got his one at bat. He struggled, and I had better players to get the job done. Hes a heck of a lineman though(sorry I'm a dad) so hes been a solid starter for 4 years in football. I was asked if I was going to nominate him for the 11-12 all stars, I said heck no. We live in a tradition rich area, a proud area, and winning IS the name of the game. There can only be so many Thomas and Julius Jones', Jason Wittens, Justin Hamiltons, Jimmy Gobbles, and Billy Wagners around. It is ok to play to win.

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This is seriously laughable, typical parent who thinks their kid is an all-American and should get to play just b/c he/she tries or is on the team... welcome to the real world honey, it's only going to get worse for him/her from here if they expect to be handed a position or if they think that by mommy and daddy whining about it, it's going to fix things. I honestly doubt most people in PV or wherever see things this way, delusional. A coach isn't going to blow a whole season just to see their favorite people play, coaches just like players want to win too, losing isn't fun.

I sat the Varsity bench for 4 years when I was in High School, you know why? b/c at least 5 people on that team were better than me, I knew that, my parents knew that, the coaches, the fans, etc. etc. and everyone else knew that. Suck it up don't complain about it if it's that bad don't have your child play... I enjoyed winning just as much as anyone but everyone knows to win to have to play your best players, it's common sense.

I'm glad to see that I have fellow bench warmers out there. For me I didn't start as much as I would have liked, but it never really bother me. But durning the week of practice while on the scout team I tried to practice hard to make the starting teams better prepare for the game. I knew if I could run hard or be in the right spot that the Offense/Defense would be ready come friday night and knew what was coming. I don't know, it's just way I was. But parents need to understand that little Johnny/Susie isn't going to be the next big thing out there. The is only a handful that get to college on full ride and less then that will make it pro. But I have to agree about the dedication and heart in some of this players today. I'm not saying all them out there don't have to desire to better themselves but there sure is alot that seem to really want to.

You guys (the self-proclaimed benchwarmers) that are countering her letter should send copies in to the Post, where you know she'll be reading it.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: elp6n</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You guys (the self-proclaimed benchwarmers) that are countering her letter should send copies in to the Post, where you know she'll be reading it.</div></div>

I think three of them should put together a team and go take on Little League teams in the area.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CoeburnCane</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: elp6n</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You guys (the self-proclaimed benchwarmers) that are countering her letter should send copies in to the Post, where you know she'll be reading it.</div></div>

I think three of them should put together a team and go take on Little League teams in the area. </div></div>
Second that motion.

She needs to see Vol Dude's point to:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sorry. but you are talking about paid coaches that in many instances sell their homes,and move their families from far away to coach. ... A coaches job is to play the best players, game plan, teach, and I hope not to offend anyone but yes....WIN. </div></div>

Perfect example of someone with too much time on their hands. This can't be for real.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: devils07</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This can't be for real. </div></div>

if anyone has been to a youth sporting event in the appy-big stone area you'll understand that this lady firmly believes what she has written. the problem is that she or other members of her family has walked into dugouts or walked on courts to display her frustrations. so devils07, this is for real but the henry woman has no clue.

I was a bench warmer too and im not afraid to admit it. Yea at times i thought i should have been playing when i wasnt but i could understand why i wasnt. Hell i played at a position that u need to be a little bit taller to play i understood that. I did not mind at all cheering for the starters on the sidelines and attempting to burn them at practice.

Perfect example of how parents/athletes think today. It's getting worse and worse, people.

what can be any more fair in sports than saying this?

the best players play.

Can I assume that you know this person? If it is who I think it is, then she has been a nuisance for the whole area.

"In my opinion, these practices have to be stopped. They have to change, to be modified. Those in authority need to be taught to make things better. I believe all those in authority need to be good models for our children, and our children's children. In my opinion, decisions on who gets to play and who does not should not be monopolized by coaches, when these decisions make our children feel low and unwanted. I think our children should not be victims because they like to play sports. If they try out and make the team, I believe all students should have the same chance to play as their teammates, to be treated fairly, to have the same rights. What's fair is fair! And what is right is right! This is wrong, very wrong!"

This part is stupid. If the coach doesn't decide who gets playing time, who should? The parents, the administration, the kids. You want to open a bigger can of worms. You want a bigger popularity contest. Then take that control away from the coaches. If any one says some else gets to play because they are the coaches favorite. Ask yourself this question, why are they the Coach's favorite. I can tell you why, because that kid has busted his/her butt on the practice field,weight room etc. Do coaches play favorites... YES the people who work the hardest and are best at the job. Do people in the business world play favorites... YES who ever is better, get better things.

Lets let the fans vote who and who doesnt play. Im casting the first vote : I vote that Tim Tebow is one of Urban Meyers faves and he should sit out the Tennessee game. Meyer is monopolizing Tebow.

I know this lady and her children. Her son is a very good ball player in all sports. He deserves more play time. He practices hard and is a good all around kid. As far as the comment about going into the dugout. I was there the night you are refering to and she didn't go into the dugout. She was just standing up to someone who runs there mouth constantly. I also think that she is speaking for others not just her own children.

Thats bull-she never went into a dugout-she was just standing up to a trouble maker!

Well..Hello..