the guy across the street (or why i should learn to say no)

so yesterday morning this guy that i have seen a few times but never spoken to comes up to me telling me about how he cant get to this job in little rock because he doesnt have any gas and no money to get any. i know that he just does "odd jobs" here and there because my landlord gave him some money to clean up my yard. since i knew he just lived from job to job, i felt bad for the guy and gave him ten bucks. he said he would pay me back later in the afternoon.

i saw him again about an hour later, and he asked me for five more dollars because he had just spent five on diapers. at that point i figured that he was just trying to con me out of more money and that i had just lost ten dollars. i looked for him later that afternoon, but he never came home.

this morning he came walking across the street and apologized for not being home yesterday. then he gave me ten dollars. i couldnt believe it. i shook his hand and thanked him and he turned to walk away, but when i shut the door to my car, he turned around and came back up to me and whispered "hey, you got any rubbers, man?" i thought i misunderstood what he was saying so i made him repeat it, but, sure enough, he was asking me for condoms. i told him i didnt have any. he explained that he had this girl over, but he didnt have his car. he gave me three dollars and asked if i would go to kroger to buy him some. like a fool i said i would.

so i get to kroger only to find that the condoms are kept in a locked glass case. so i walked around the store looking for someone to ask about getting the case open. i finally found someone and looked for some to buy. for those of you who dont know, condoms arent cheap, but there was no way in hell i was going to pay any of my own money to get some for him. after a brief search i found a box of four for $2.19. when i brought them back i gave them to him and told him i was going back to bed to prevent him from asking me for anything else. i bet he will be asking me for stuff all of the time now....i am such an idiot!! why cant i just be an asshole like ek3? i bet he would have felt no pity for the guy and not given him money in the first place.

Burn his fucking house dopwn and see how he likes that.

that's no good. he would just ask to live with me, and i would let him because i would feel guilty for having burned down his house.

I work downtown now...so people are always asking me for money and shit...I just say sorry, if they persist...I just say...sorry man...normally they keep on and on, badgering me...so I simply turn away and quit listening to them...I figure I gave them 2 polite 'no's'...so they had their chance to part on good terms...I often find that they sit there for a while not fully understanding...I just keep walking...

In fact...just yesterday...some mexican came walking down the street w/ a pipe wrench he had obviously just stolen...I first saw him...because he was eye balling the torches on our dock...apparently looking for his next score...I guess he decided there was nothing of worth he could steal...but anyway...I was walking down the dock as he was walking down the street and he flagged me down...came up to me and wanted me to buy the wrench for $10 dollars...I said "no thanks man...I ain't got no use for it"...he persisted...in my best mexican voice..."c'mon man, you can use it in your warehouse"...I said..."no thanks, don't need it"...normally this is where I would walk off...but I had a guy I was helping...he persisted..."c'mon man, you can use it at your house, you never know man"...I said..."my dad's a plumber I got plenty of pipe wrenches if I need them"...fed up...I then turned around as he was still talking, closed the door in his face...and locked the door as he set leaned against the dock staring at me through the window...he eventually walked off down the road...

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Fibonacci:
why cant i just be an asshole like ek3?

---

<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma">Oh, no, no, no, no, no! That's a horrible idea.

you're the man!

Fibonacci, first let me say you are a nice decent person for doing what you did. You went way out of your way a few times to help another person. That doesn't happen to often these days. Especially with the condom thing. If he did infact have a girl over, you helped him alot by being good enough to go and get them for him thereas helping to prevent STD'S or something worse, and preventing an unwanted pregnancy perhaps.
You went out of your way more than once and that is awesome and says alot about you. Unfortunately however, it's people like him, your neighbor, who think that just because they did a few nice things and went out of their way for me, I can take advantage of that and constantly ask my neighbor for help.
People like that think, well I see NOW I can rely on them, count on them anytime I need something. It gets to be a bad habit and very quickly becomes inappropriate.
It's a double edged sword. Your kindness and goodness, may very well have to turn right around and be brutal honesty and bluntness and maybe even cold to put this guy in his place and let him know, "hey dude, I did a few favors for you and that was that. That doesn't mean that I am going to be your "gofor" person from now on.
Eventually, you might have to put him in his place and let him know how you feel and what the deal is. In most cases, people in your situation, if they don't nip it in the bud or put their foot down, people like your neighbor start walking all over people like you. They start to just assume that they can make you go out of your way to run and do their errands, get them stuff, let them borrow some money, anytime they want.
I hope it doesn't get that bad for you, but if it does just nip it in the bud and be honest about how you feel. The neighbor has to respect that. He might not like it, but he will have to accept it.
I hope I have made some kinda sense/help here.

My point I think was, remember the old saying, "I've got to be cruel to be kind". It may come to that or atleast, I've got to be cruel to be kind to get myself out of being this person's gofor/errand runner or let this person know I did a few favors. That doesn't mean I will automatically DO it ALL the time. I'm letting you know right now, do not count on me, depend on me, call on me for help.

Does that make any sense?

Any time I have people come to ask me for money i say,"Funny,I was just going to ask you the same thing".Usually they are left puzzled long enough to slip away.

He lets the man go, and he goes running. He waits until his wife and kids are in the ground and he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids, he kills their wives, he kills their parents and their parents' friends. He burns down the houses they grew up in and the stores they work in, he kills people that owe them money. And like that he was gone.

But then again, all the people that owe them money, being that they borrow from everyone, may be a bit too harsh. But then again, it would solve the little world population problem. [img]tongue.gif[/img]