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I've got a few questions for you peeps, I'd would be nice of some sort of serious discussion could come out of it!
Okay, here goes:
1)Do you want kids?
2)Would you adopt one? 3)Would you adopt one if you couldn't produce offspring yourself?
4)(for the guys) If you were infertile, would you be okay with it if your wife would get the 'stuff' from a (annoymous?) donor?
5)(for the women) If you were infertile, would you be okay with a surrogate mother? (did I put that right?)
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Here are my answers:
1) I doubt it. Maybe this sounds harsh, but why I would I give up my own life to create another?
I am probably to selfish to give up my life for a baby. I will have to study for another 6 or 7 years, so when I'm done I'll be about 27 years old. I'm not going to school for all these years to sit at home with a kid afterwards. I don't feel like giving up all of my freedom for a kid. I like to go out in the weekends, but you can't always leave your kid alone with a babysitter. What about sexlife? I don't think a lot will happen while you're pregnant (eeeew). When the baby is born you'll be up a lot of nights, but not to enjoy the night with your partner. Little kids want to sleep in between mommy and daddy. And when they're older you can't fool them with 'mommy and daddy are just wrestling a bit' Maybe this (about the sexlife) sounds stupid to you, but I think sex is an important part of a relationship. Without sex you could just as well be best friends.
Maybe 'making a baby' sounds very romantic. Yes it is literaly a part of you two. But having a baby takes so much responsability. You are 'stuck' with them for about 20 years. That's the way I see it.
This doesn't mean that I wouldn't love my baby if I'd ever get pregnant by 'accident' and keep it. It's just that I would never choose to make one in the first place.
I just think that you'll have to give up so much for a baby. Especially when you're the woman, everyone expects you to become a houswife.
I have a lot of plans for my life. I want to finish college, I want to see the world. A kid doesn't fit into this. If you want kids you have to be there for them 100%, and I know I can't give that. At least not yet. Maybe one day I'll change my mind, who knows.
2) and 3) No, same reasons as above.
5) No, if I wanted a kid, I would want a kid of my very own and my husbands. No spermdonor of surrogate mother. I'd rather adopt a kid then having my husbands sperm inside another woman! O_o Or another guy's 'belongings' inside of me for that matter. If we couldn't get kids together, then I wouldn't want none at all.
Now, let's see what you have to say!
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Princess, Having Had Sufficient
Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.
~SpawnyGirl~ ~Angel of Fire~
[This message has been edited by Day-Z (edited March 28, 2001).]
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I'll have to think about this for a bit before I answer.I've already had "the scare" and it made me see things in a new light, but Michael told me something the other day that was very enlightening about how I looked at babies and stuff.
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~Now that I have found someone I am feeling more alone than I ever have before.~ Brick: Ben Folds Five
~These posts are for entertainment purposes only. Thank you.~ by D.A.N.
~Murder one I didn't know what I did
I figured it out by murder two
Murder three I stopped feeling ashamed
This is me I'm going for you.~ by:dwim
~I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.~
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Speaking from an Infertile woman's viewpoint..Been trying for over 11 years and have finally admitted that I really dont want children..Ive only been trying because
A: Parents/In Laws/Family expected me to breed
B: My husband wanted kids
C: Society as a whole expects you to have kids once your married
When I explain that I dont want kids..most people are shocked that Im so "selfish"..They cant believe that Im very happy with my lifestyle as it is and that I dont feel the need to reproduce to feel "fulfilled" as a woman.
Im always asked if I want to adopt..again I say no..If I cant have a child of my own..well..I really dont want anothers child..Once again people find that statement very hard to accept for some reason.
As for donor sperm..ICKY..period!
And as for Surrogacy..I can carry a child myself and the legal hassles of having another woman carry your child are too much of a headache to be bothered with.
If I ever had the opportunity to have a child then it would definately be a child from my body with my husbands sperm..no one else involved.
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Sounds of laughter..
Shades of love...
Death Defying
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1. YES
2. YES
3. YES
4. NO
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1)Do you want kids? Not really
2)Would you adopt one? I'd adopt one rather than have one, I think
3)Would you adopt one if you couldn't produce offspring yourself? I'd adopt one even if I could, I think
5)(for the women) If you were infertile, would you be okay with a surrogate mother? (did I put that right?) Depends on how I was infertile. If I couldn't bear them myself yet my eggs were good, yes, I would. If not, I don't know. I don't even plan on ever getting married...
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1. I want to be a parent someday, but I don't want to be pregnant. My gf would probably have the child.
2. Yes, I'd adopt. Lots of kids need good homes.
3. See #2.
5. Well, I'd prefer my gf carrying the child or out and out adoption. I really wouldn't want a surrogate.
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1. Yes , one day but not anytime soon
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Hell No
[This message has been edited by DarkLord (edited March 29, 2001).]
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Want Kids?: Yes
Adopt: No
Adopt if my sperm went wacko or dead: No
Wife getting annoymous sperm: No
If I'm going to have a child, it'll either be my sperm and her egg or no child at all.
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If the Master does not approve, neither do you.
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Lady Belle, I totally agree with you. I'm glad I'm not the only 'selfish' woman around http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
I'm happy that my bf feels the same way about kids, I think it is a very difficult situation when one wants kids desperately and the other one doesn't want kids at all. How did/do you deal with that?
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Princess, Having Had Sufficient
Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.
~SpawnyGirl~ ~Angel of Fire~
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Day-Z, that is not being "selfish", thats making your own choice about yourself and if anyone doesnt like it tell them to bugger off http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
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how come with lesbians, its always i would want my gf to carry the child?
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LET THE HATE RISE UP AND CONSUME US ALL
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Day-Z - I don't think you are selfish either! Actually you are being more unselfish than if you had kids and didn't want them! Like many people do!
I felt the same way until I was 28! But I've lived a lot, traveled overseas, part owner of a software company, had lots of "freedom" etc. etc.!!
Then a niece came into my life, and lived with me for 10 days when she was three! My brother and his wife had to go out of town, so I watched her! It was the best 10 days of my life! I never expected to feel that way! My happiness passed through her, I grew watching her learn and grow!
Anyway, my point is now I?m trying to have a baby! It's been over three years; I'm 31 now! And I have to begin to make those above decisions! Talk about hard! I think we will adopt, but I'm not ready to give up! I also don't want our child to be mine and not my husbands so we won't go with a "donor"!!
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Christine / not always
Happy & Shiney
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SPYDERHATE:
how come with lesbians, its always i would want my gf to carry the child?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
It's not, Spyder. My gf wants to have the child. She wants to be pregnant. I don't for several reasons, including health concerns.
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The original ninja lesbian milk getter.
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I'm tired of the silent majority. Silence equals death.
Life is what you make it.
Become beautiful on the inside and it will show on the outside.
"Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot." -Lucy Lawless
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i never meant it as an insult branflakes.
but i just thought it a remarkable coincidence that the 6 lesbian couples that i know, it is always "my gf".
if your gf wants to be pregnant, then thats cool.
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LET THE HATE RISE UP AND CONSUME US ALL
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Day-Z..My husband and I talked for ages before we came to the decision not to have kids..We finally decided after my last course of In-Vitro Fertilisation.
I know that he still would like to have kids but he was seeing just how painful mentally and physically it was on me trying to fall pregnant..
I tell you In-Vitro Fertilisation is no fun and games..In fact it nearly killed me in the end because of Hyper Stimulated Ovaries from the hormone injections I was given..
My ovaries swelled from their normal walnut size to the size of a large orange..with over 55, half-inch sized egg folicals..just on my left ovary..the nurse didnt count how many there was on my right..They were only expecting to find maybe 5 ripe egg folicals..
Anyway..I'd rather be alive with no kids than die trying to have them..
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Sounds of laughter..
Shades of love...
Death Defying
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Michael and I had "the scare". Even though I am on the pill I was late. I kept getting sick and felt weird for a week. I was scared. But as I thought about it I kinda wanted the child. I couldn't imagine killing it, I couldn't imagine giving it up. With that thought in mind I would say I eventually would like to have one...but truthfully I'm not going to go out of my way and plan having a kid. if we don't have one, Oh well.
It wouldn't bother me if I adopted. But I really don't have a reason to...I think we are both pretty fertile.
If I were infertile I would not someone elses sperm or use a surrogate. I wouldn't even go the in-vitro route.
And about what Michael sees when I look at babies...he says it's exactly the same as when I look at puppies. He says I want a puppy...and he said he'd rather have a puppy, heh.
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~Now that I have found someone I am feeling more alone than I ever have before.~ Brick: Ben Folds Five
~These posts are for entertainment purposes only. Thank you.~ by D.A.N.
~Murder one I didn't know what I did
I figured it out by murder two
Murder three I stopped feeling ashamed
This is me I'm going for you.~ by:dwim
~I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.~
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SPYDERHATE:
i never meant it as an insult branflakes.
but i just thought it a remarkable coincidence that the 6 lesbian couples that i know, it is always "my gf".
if your gf wants to be pregnant, then thats cool.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I didn't think you were trying to insult me, Sypder. No harm. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif
I also know lots of women (gay and straight) that don't want to be pregnant. The nice thing if you're gay, is that your gf might want to.
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The original ninja lesbian milk getter.
Please click on that banner.
The one called "brain" and "brandiflakes" and....
I'm tired of the silent majority. Silence equals death.
Life is what you make it.
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning." -Catherine Aird
I'm not bad, I just type that way.
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Why don't more people adopt, I find it kind of weird it still has a stigma to it.
Most likely the way things are going my g/f and I will adopt if we ever choose to have kids. She doesn't want to carry a baby. As for Belle I agree, we'd have less problems if not everyone thought they had to have a baby.
There's some really fucked up parents out there...
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1. Yes, someday. I'm planing on 7 or 8 years from now trying to have one.
2&3. I'm not sure I'd adopt, I might, Joe, I can't speak for him.
5(and expanded 3) Thing is, I just might be infertile. I've always had really messed up menstrual cycle, and in the future, I may have difficulty concieving. Which would be kinda funny because everyone else in my family is fertile as hell! So I don't know about a surrogate. Maybe just adopt out right.
I have enough babies and kids in my family that I'm not going to be worried about lack of children around.
But it would be nice to have a child or 2 around to warp for the future http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
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Oh the toil a lie can bring. That quitters never know. But lies can be the perfect thing, if they never show.
%%%Angel of Wanton Distruction%%%
Spawn's Angels
Suna no ashiato kuzureteku
"The footsteps I leave behind vanish in the sand"
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snail, my personal reason for not wanting to adopt is because if I'm going to raise a child, I want it to be my child. A part of me, a part of her. That will also make it easier when it comes to character traits.
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If the Master does not approve, neither do you.
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1) Yes I want kids
2) I would adopt.... so many orphaned children need loving homes and if I found I couldn't have children I'd like to make some of their lives happier
5) No I wouldn't surrogate, too many lawsuits plus I'd hate to do it myself.. carry the baby 9 months then give it away so I couldn't ask someone else to do the same plus the selfish part of me would say If I can't have children then my husband/bf either divorces me and tries with someone else or we go with adoption as a) Above reason and b) I think I'd feel a little left out as its part his child and some other womans.. *Shrugs*
But then my opinions may change when I'm older and considering a family
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Like you Branflakes, I don't want to get pregnant either. Somehow it just scares me, all the things that happen to your body while you're pregnant. I don't want to get stretchmarks all over! I don't want to get a ceasarion (sp??) I don't want to feel the pain when in labor! I don't want to have milk coming out of my breasts! O_o It's just not fair, why do women have to put up with these things? You men have it so easy! You have a good time, then you don't have to carry the result of the good time around for 9 months, and when the kid is born the woman is expected to stay at home, not the man!
So here's another question: If you'd have a kid, would you stay at home, or do you expect your partner to do so?
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Princess, Having Had Sufficient
Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog.
~SpawnyGirl~ ~Angel of Fire~
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I've got other health concerns too, Day-Z. Diabetes is very rampant in my family, plus some other concerns.
As for the new question, I'd probably be the one staying home, simply due to my desired career (writer) and the fact that, if my current gf and I have the children, she'll be a lawyer and be busier, career-wise. We'll see what happens. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
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The original ninja lesbian milk getter.
Please click on that banner.
The one called "brain" and "brandiflakes" and....
I'm tired of the silent majority. Silence equals death.
Life is what you make it.
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning." -Catherine Aird
I'm not bad, I just type that way.
