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Well, the first one already has 100 posts, and is taking a while to load. So, here's the second installment. Pool and Trophy Display, Part II. No "e"!
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"Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects."
....and with that...Merle taps a Keg of Samual Adams as Nommy brings over the pitchers to be filled.
Nommy looks around and simply feels trhat Cloney should be here, he concentrates REALLY hard and teleports his mind to various incarnations of out favorite bartender. He finds the best incarnation and pulls him back through with the aid of the Key of LIght.
Nommy colapsed under the Keg after such a task as Merle opens up the coffer and pours the Sammy down Nomads throat.
Suddenly, Cloney could be heard saying...um Nommy...where are my clothes?
Having finished CT's Birthday dance, the owls wander back to the bar for a drink.
Well look at that Blair, Cloney caught up with us. "Cloney, welcome home". We'll have a coupla Tom Collins talls.
Then the owls march over to see their old friend and fellow wizzard MerleZ.
Merle, So great to see ya. Looks like the place is about to regain glory of former days, OOOOOOOpppss, that's about what Londo said about the Centauri. Send Kimball an email and we'll start planning the En'til'zah's Birthday party. I see Nommy's already dancin' up a storm.
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
[This message has been edited by sindatur (edited December 11, 2000).]
"hmmmmm" PC wanderings into the PATD bar wondering why something feels wrong.
Looking up at the sign she realizes what the problem is. "Hey where did the 'e' go?"
Merle rolled his eyes and whispered a little spell. A Special Bartenders uniform appeared on Cloney and the drink making went nback to normal.
See what I can do when I'm sober?
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It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you.
Oh, yeah, I can even spell "TROPHY"!
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It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you.
Sindatur and Blair Grey break out a 9 foot Christmas tree (The real kind, not the Charlie Brown style) and rumble around in the ruins of the old place for Ornaments and lights and such to decorate it with.
The pair of owls look lovingly into each others eyes as they put up the lights and fly to the top to place the Ceremonial bonecrest in it's appropriate place at the tiptop(Where most RL folks put their angel). A few 6" Babylon 5 Action figures are carefully hung there and the rest is left to the other patrons to get their holiday decorating in.
Mistletoe is hung over every entrance to the current incarnation of the PATD (Is it actually possible to find all of the entrances, new ones pop up daily).
C'mon gang, get your ornaments up, CT, AsIs, Merle, Jas, Rowyn, Nommy, Ian, Jandy, Lyta, Valen, The One, and anyone I forgot. Oh and PC won't be around, so someone needs to be surrogate for her.
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
A Christmas tree? Cool.
Ran walks over to the tree and pulls out his ornament to hang on it. A way cool Vorlon ship which actually shimmers to spell out various holiday sayings like "We Wish You a Merry Christams", "Happy Holidays", and "Anyone Know a Good Hangover Remedy?"
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I don't need to drink to have a good time. I need to drink to shut out these voices in my head.
Way cool ornaments, this tree is gonna be awesome.
I like the signature Ran, LOL
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
"Really great looking tree!" jas says, while he admires the Ceremonial bonecrest, way at the top, & smiles appreciatively at the "6" Babylon 5 Action figures and the shimmering Vorlon ship gracing the sturdy looking branches of the festive tree.
"Now, lets see" jas thinks to himself as he surveys a likely spot for his ornament. Finding a particularly sturdy looking branch, lower to the floor, jas walks over to it carrying a packing box. He pulls out some excelsior packing material and gently reaches in the box for one of his favorite ornaments. It is a large spherical object, kind of glowing, that looks like a large festive Christmas tree bulb. In reality it is a cherished gift jas received from a Soul Hunter. The 'soul container' orb, jas explained, contains the souls of a very prominent Minbari actors guild troop. If one gets close enough to the large bulb ornament, one can hear the acting troop doing their 'road version' of the 'Battle of the Line'.
"There!" jas says, backing away slowly & taking in the full view.
"Now for some refreshments"!
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"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem"
Valen walks over and carefully places the TRILUMINARY on top of the tree.
(yes, I know... the tree topping should be placed on last. But I didn't want to run the risk of someone placing a FAKE one on the PATD tree.)
Ok... nobody touch the thing. Off limits! That's means you to PC! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/mad.gif
Walking over to his table, Valen sets down and pours himself a cup of coffee...
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"I am a Ranger! We walk in the dark places no others will enter. We stand on the bridge and no one may pass. We live for the One, we die for the One!"
Rantarn made a signiturte??? I don C no Stinkin signiture!
Nomad pulls out his key of Light and pulls a tab off the side of it. He presses the button after aiming it at the tree...a small glowing swirling mass appears in the middle of the tree. Everyone looks at Nommy then at the tree again.
"WHAT?...it was a gift from a friend of mine. His name is Quinn Mallory, so don't touch it unless you want to find the CroMag PATD. hehe"
An eerie hush falls over the PATD (Which is extremely rare with this crowd), as they all look at awe into the vortex, when all of a sudden....
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
Hearing Valen's challenge, PC appeared out of no where. "I loves to live dangerousily"
Hanging an Michigan State National Champions 2000 on the tree, PC grinned evily at Valen
"See ya on the other side." she said as she grabbed the triluminary and dived through the vortex...
Put the tree topper on last? Maybe in a place where they sleep on slanted beds but around here the tree topper is supposed to go on first. Ummm...of course, that's kind of a moot point now. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif
*The lurker, Rowyn, cautiously approaches the Christmas tree. She whips out a small replica of the USS TRISKELION and hangs it in an inconspicuous place on the tree. Glancing around, she slips out of the room. The PATD has always made her nervous.* http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
Great ornament Rowyn!
*AsIs moves to the tree and puts a mini replica of George (the sacred bat of yadda yadda...)on the tree*
What a nice tree this is turning into. Anyone see where Crash went?
Bmat admires the tree and smiles at the memories it invokes. She places her ornament, a tiny stuffed bear, toward the back of the tree.
Cosmic and Tandara arrive at the PATD carrying a small box of ornaments. Taking the lid off, Cosmic stares in disbelief at one of the "ornaments".
"What's that doing in here, woman?"
"I'm gonna hang it on the tree! See? I even tied a Christmas bow around it!"
"Tan, surely you jest...."
"But CT, it even glows in the dark when you turn it on!"
Cosmic just stared at the Warrior Babe.
"It's a Christmas tree, woman...Put that thing back in the box.."
"Oh, ok...geeze!!", Tan grumbles. She tosses the "ornament" back in the box and selects a miniature of the B5 station while Cosmic hangs up a small replica of the Temple of Valen.
As they stand back to admire the other ornaments, Cosmic notices Valen, just sitting there, oblivious to all around him while he sips his coffee, and whispers to Tan,
"Wonder why Valen hasn't put anything on the tree yet?"
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We live for the One, we die for the One....yeah, right!
<font face="Verdana">
Wizzard wanders in, see's the tree, and starts working through the knapsack.
He wanders over to the tree and hangs on a miniature "Excalibur" space craft, docked. Attached to another branch is an inverted miniature jug of green liquid, with a small hose connecting it to the Excalibur.
I think this would not only explain why the show only lasted 13 episodes, but also why it was fun while it lasted.</p>
Wizzard heads back to the bar and drops off more Sam Adams, Sierra Nevada, and margaritas</P></font>
Valen wakens from his deep meditation, and notices CT and Tandara, next to the tree. Rising and walking over, he notices a box in Tandara's hand. Hiya Ladies! (he uses the term loosely) What'cha got in the box?
CT gets a nervous look on her face... <font color="green">.. oh, it's nothing. Tan and I just brought some orniments to place on the tree.</font> Valen grins.. COOL! I already placed mine on the top.. here, let me help ya'll with yours. Valen reaches over and takes the top off the box.. reaching in he pulls out a..., Hmmmm.... well, now this is the most unusual Christmas Tree orniment I have ever seen! Ummmmm.. where's the sring to hang it by? CT grabs the... "orniment" from Valen's hand and shoves it back in the box. <font color="green">Tan... whould you get this thing out of here... PLEASE!</font>
Tandara looks over at Valen... <font color="blue">Well, I thought it would look cute, hanging on the tree.</font> CT gives Tandara a stern look.. Tandara shrugs.. <font color="blue">What?! It's CLEAN!</font> Tandara turns and walks out of the PATD... her little box, tucked under her arm.
CT turns to Valen... <font color="green">So.. where's your orniment? Aren't you going to put one on the tree?</font> Oh I've already placed the tri... Valen points and looks up towards the top of the tree... WHAT THE HEL... He quickly scans back 7 posts and reads... PC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/mad.gif
[This message has been edited by Valen (edited December 18, 2000).]
Transferring posts (and a story) from an alternate PATD to here:
Message: A roar is heard in the PATD
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Aug 29, 2000 11:52
But it wasn't Angry's usual anti-troll roar. In fact, this wasn't even a bear roar. It was rather uneven, and accompanied by billowing black smoke, as a vehicle pulled into the parking area near the pool.
<center><img src=http://www.thescifivine.com/~Angry_Bear/winnebago.jpg></center>
Angry hopped out of the driver's seat and loped over to find Sammy, to help load up the kegs. Cranky and Merley watched with varying degrees of interest from the hot tub. "Now what're dey up to?" Wondered Cranky. "Ise didn't eben know det Angry know'd how ta drive!"
Merley didn't comment, wondering if somehow a lawsuit could be filed out of all of this ......
"Oh, Crank! Is youse comin wid us?" Cranky turned to see Bmat the Minbari Bear, small suitcase in hand, heading toward the newly arrived RV.
"Um, where's youse goin', Bmat?"
"We's goin' ta Yellowstone park ta visit our relatibs! Don't youse remember? We's talked about dis last week."
"Oh!" Cranky remembered. Yes she wanted to go! "Um, yeah, I'se be right dere! Um, don't leabe widdout me, okay?" She turned to Merley. "Um, sorry, um, I'se gots ta go. It's been real fun. Um, see youse later?"
Merley didn't know whether to be relieved or have his feelings hurt. "Well, of course I'll see youse, er you, later, Cranky. Why wouldn't I? And just where are you going?"
"Didn't youse just hear Bmat?" Honestly, this lawyer bear could be pretty stupid. "We's goin' ta visit our relatibs in Yellowstone. I gots ta pack now!"
Bmat jumped out of the tub. "Incoming!" Screamed Merle, as he an Nommy dove behind the bar, ducking with Cloney as Cranky shook the water from her fur. "That was close!" Remarked Nommy.
Sammy came out from the back room, rolling a keg of Sam Adams Summer Wheat, followed by Angry with a keg of Boston Ale.
"Um, Sammy? What we drink tomorrow?"
Sammy looked at Angry. "Youse right, Angry, we's better get some more kegs." The two loaded their kegs into the Winnebago and headed back to the store room. The look in Cloney's eyes said he could see his profits for the week disappearing. He looked at Merle disparingly.
"Hey," said Merle. "You're the one who told them they could work for all the Sammies they could drink. You shoulda known those two bears can REALLY put away the beer!" Cloney looked mournful. Merle giggled.
"Don't worry, Cloney, we'll pay for them, just like always," offered Nommy with a grin. Cloney was only fun when he looked like he was being tortured.
Meanwhile, Angry and Sammy were rolling out their third keg each. "OK, boys, that's enough. Remember, no drinking and driving, OK?" Warned Merle.
"Don't worry Merle," said Angry, a goofy grin on his face. "We only drink after we stop." Merle nodded.
"Good boy, Angry." He leaned close to Nomad. "Can we trust them on that?" Nommy shrugged.
Cranky came bustling back in, a small suitcase in her hand, and went up to the door of the Winnebago. Opening it, she went inside, returning quickly. "Dere ain't no room fer my suitcase. Too much beer in dere." She glared at Sammy and Angry. The two decided right away to put the kegs up on the roof of the RV, and began hauling them up there. "Hmph!" Snorted Cranky. In short order Sammy and Angry had the kegs loaded up and tied down.
"OK, ebberbody, we's ready ta leave now!" Shouted Bmat, in a not so serene way. She was too excited about the trip to remember her Minbari serenity.
Angry hopped in the driver's seat, with Sammy riding shotgun. Cranky and Bmat squeezed themselves behind the table at the back of the camper, and Angry fired up the engine.
Message: And awaaaaay they go!!
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Aug 29, 2000 16:29
Cranky and Bmat the Minbari Bear are thrown against the wall of the RV when Angry turned a sharp left pulling out of the driveway.
Cranky:<font color=crimson> Hey!!!!! Watch it will youse!!! You made me bump my elbow!!! Owwie!!!!</font> She rubbed her elbow.
Bmat the Minbari bear muttered <font color=teal> Peace, calm...Now Cranky at least we's movin's along now. I hopes you knows how ta drive one o' these things, Angry!!!</font>
Sammy grinned over at angry: <font color=magenta> Hehehee- Back seat drivers. hooohooohooo.</font>
Cranky: <font color=crimson> What's dat he said???grrrrrr</font>
Bmat pretended to meditate.
The RV drove smoothly down the road and onto the main highway. Affer a while Sammy put his seat in reclining position and hunkered down for a litttle nap.
Cranky: <font color=crimson> Heyy!!!! It's too hot in here- led's have some air condishunin"!!</font>
Bewildered, Angry pulled the RV off the road and into a rest stop.
Bmat:<font color=teal> Wut's we stoppin' for?</font>
Angry: <font color="orange"> Angry not know how to operate air condishunin'. Angry gonna try punchin buttons.</font>
Bmat realized it was a good idea that Angry stopped the RV when she saw his big clumsy paws poking at the controls. The windows got washed, the radio blared on waking Sammy, the lights went on and off, but still no air conditioning.
Cranky yelled out <font color=crimson> Hey!!! Whyn't youse check da owner's manual?!</font>
Angry and the bleary-eyed Sammy glanced at each other and blinked blankly. Then Angry went back to poking buttons joined by Sammy now.
Bmat the Minbari bear calling up some ancient Minbari survival instinct refrained from commenting but instead heaved herself up from the tight fit behind the little table. <font color=teal> C'mon Cranky....led's use the little bear's room at this rest stop while the guys are...ummm...tryin' ta find da button.</font>
She moved up to the front of the RV and deftly removed the key from the ignition. {Jussst in case.}
Angry: <font color=orange> Why Bmat take key?</font>
Bmat smiled and said <font color=teal> Oh jus' so it doesn't get knocked out an hit da floor an get lost while youse are so busy!</font>
Cranky and Bmat the Minbari Bear go get cleaned up.
Message: This is hard work , Angry
Author: - Sammy Bear
Date: Aug 29, 2000 17:05
Sammy bear finally found the button under Angrys lert paw. He had it covered the whole time. Sammy hit the switch and a full force of Hot air came billowing out.
"I guess its gotta get going a while 'fore it gets cold, Angry. Thjis sure was hard work pushin all dem buttons. Time for a break."
Sammy and Angry both look at eachother and grin that evil bear (or is that beer) grin.
Hey angry.....hold on...I got an idea before we left...I wanna see if it works.
Sammy reached back behind him and pulled a large clear tube with a nozzle down and handed it to Angry...then pulled down another one for himself.
"OK Angry..open you jaws real wide." Sammy steps up and turns a lever in the control panel behind him and out opurs some Frosty Sam Adams right into Angrys mouth. He then does the same for himself. You could actually see the bears stomaches filling up. Within 10 minutes, the bears had their fill. They finished off 2 kegs in 1 10 minute sitting.
Boy, Shammy...I shure wash thirshty. Thank the beer gods we brought more than 2 kegs.
"Hey Angery, whny you talkin funny? Anyway, yeah...but weve only gone a hundred miles....we have a thousand more to go. Hmmm...I has an idea....."
Sammy sticks his nose out the window and sniffs...."OK Angry.... when we leaves...go this way..(The sign says Boston).
Message: When the lady bears get back to the RV
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Aug 29, 2000 17:27
The first thing they notice is the two empty beer kegs by the door. The second thing is two soused bears lying back, tongues lolling out, snoring.
Bmat the Minbari Bear rolls her eyes- <font color=teal> Oh good grief- luk at those two!!! Here Cranky- gib me a hand an we'll pile 'em in the back an we'll do the drivin'!</font>
With great pullings and heavings the two bears dragged the guys and plunked them down in the back. Then Bmat the Bear plopped herself down in the driver's seat and stretched her fingers.
<font color=teal> Ledsee- Where's da key- oh yeah I has it.</font>
Cranky:<font color=crimson> Ummmm- youse sure you can drive one of these things?</font>
Bmat: <font color=teal> Welllll- no zackerly- but how hard can it be?</font>
She put the gear in back up and slowly backed the RV so that she could get a better aim on the road. She heard a slight crunch, shrugged, and put the gear back in drive.
Cranky meanwhile had located the air conditioning and set it full blast on herself.
Bmat flattened her foot on the accelerator pedal and the RV shot off like an elderly race horse.
Cranky: <font color=crimson> Huh? Is dis all da faster this think will go???</font>
Bmat: <font color=teal>(in a strangled voice), um....don't talk ta me - Ise gotta concentrate.</font> With hand clamped around the steering wheel, knuckles white from the pressure, Bmat, held her breath, closed her eyes and pulled out into the traffic.
Cranky:<font color= crimson> (Muzzle white) I thought you said you could drive one o' these things.!!!</font>
Bmat: <font color= teal> (teeth tightly clenched, eyes big as plates) wlll- Ise drivin' it...right? sorta anyhow...</font>
Cranky rolled her eyes and looked back enviously at the unconscious guys.</font>
Message: Angry heard a buzzing in his ear.
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Aug 29, 2000 18:57
Dimly, he thought it was a fly, and swatted at it. Then he heard it again. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ So he swatted again. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Swat! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Swat! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Swat!
Angry was getting irritated, and opened one bloodshot eye.....to find he'd been whacking Sammy in the head. And to find that it wasn't a fly, it was Sammy snoring in his ear.
"Oh, that's all it is." Angry started to settle back to sleep, when he became accutely aware that he had some business to attend to. He staggered up, and down the short hallway of the RV to the necessary room, not really noticing just yet that the boat was rocking, as it were. Opening the door, he squeezed himself in, and just managed to get the door shut. And found he couldn't get turned around. Well, he HAD to get turned around, the, um, well you know, was BEHIND him. This wouldn't do at all. Then it dawned on him to sit down. That was much much much much better. He'd had a lot of beer, you know.
A few minutes later, Angry washed his hands, er paws, in the small sink, and went to open the door.
"Oof! Door hit Angry in the tummy!" He tried again, same result. So he tried getting behind the door. Well, he didn't get hit in the tummy, but now he was behind the door, and couldn't get around it. "Hmm, try again." He closed the door and studied the situation. Somehow, he had to be able to get the door open, without it running into him, but still be able to get out.
After some long thought, he went to the other side, and tried again. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get his tummy out of the way to open the door. "Angry stuck!"
Then a positively brilliant idea struck him. He looked up. Maybe if Angry get up over door, door open, Angry drop down and get out! Angry grinned to himself at how clever he was, and climbed up on the toilet. He found if he put his feet on one wall, and his paws on the other, he was strong enough to hold himself up above the door. The problem he soon discovered was that he couldn't take one paw down to open the door now. "Angry still stuck." He tried to get down, but discovered that he couldn't move either his paws or his feet without feeling like he would fall. "Hm, Angry get up. Why can't Angry get down?"
Meanwhile, Cranky was staring wild eyed at all the cars whizzing by the RV, then staring wild eyed at Bmat who was staring alternately wild eyed at all the cars whizzing by the RV and staring wild eyed at Cranky. All the fear had take it's toll on Cranky's bladder. "Um, Bmat, I'se gots ta use da liddle bears room again." The thought of getting out of the seat terrified her more than anything, though.
"Um, me too, Cranky! We'se gots ta stop dis thing right now!"
"Bmat don't stop here-" Too late! Bmat had already stomped her foot on the break, bringing the hurtling RV to a sudden stop in the middle of I-70. Accompanied by, in no particular order, crashing of dishes, pots, pans and various and sundry other items that came flying out of the Winnebago's cabinets, a soft "shloomp!" as the still snoring Sammy slid all the way up between the two girls, various honking of horns and angry shouts (accompanied by hand gestures Bmat didn' understand), and a loud unidentified WHUMP! followed by a familiar voice saying, "Ouch!"
Bmat sprang from the driver's seat, leapt nimbly over Sammy and raced for the bathroom, followed closely by Cranky, who realized that Bmat was trying to beat her, and she really couldn't afford to wait. Bmat got there first and pushed on the door with her full speed. Splat! The door opened only slightly, and with just a little give behind it. Wham! Cranky crashed into Bmat.
"Ouch!" Said a familiar voice. "Uh, oh, now what's we'se gonna do?" Said Bmat and Cranky in unison. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, said Sammy.
"Um, is dat youse in dere, Angry? We's gots ta use da liddle girls room. You done in dere?"
"Angry done. Angry stuck. Angry real stuck. Angry stuck upside down now."
Message: Cranky scratched her head,
Author: - Cranky Bear
Date: Aug 30, 2000 15:18
and looked at Bmat, puzzled.
"Angry in der?", she asked.
"Umm, yep, I tink so!", answered Bmat, who was still trying to push the door open. This was causing Angry some discomfort and the two female bears heard a muffled "Oooof!!" coming from the other side of the door every so often.
"Hey der, Angry! Hurry up in deres! I gots ta go!!"
"I tink he's stuck in der, Cranky. What are wes gonna do?" Bmat tried peering in the small opening in the doorway, but found that her plastic bonecrest hindered her from getting any view of the situation, even further.
Angry's predicament suddenly dawned on Cranky. She snorted and then started to laugh. Bmat, despite all efforts to call up her Minbari training and control her rational thoughts, began to giggle also. The two bears began laughing so hard that they had to lean on each other for support or they would have ended up collapsing in laughter.
"Oh, dats funny, Bmat...Angry stuck...Upsided downs, eben!!" Cranky managed to say between bouts of uncontolled laughter.
"Ooooo! My tummy hurts!" Cranky clutched her stomach in pain. Realizing that she wasn't going to be able to go to the little bears room on the RV anytime soon, she began looking around, panicked. She noticed that there was a heavily wooded area on the other side of the highway where the RV had stopped. Running towards the door, she stopped just long enough to hop over the still sleeping Sammy Bear. Then she made a mad dash into the woods.
"A bear's gotta do what a bear's gotta do!", she muttered to herself.
Message: Waking up
Author: - NOMAD Galileo
Date: Aug 30, 2000 16:50
Sammy realized that they were still parked. He heard voices from the back and figured that they were all chatting.
Sammy put the RV in gear and took off down the road.
Message: Angry's in a fix
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Aug 30, 2000 17:32
"Arghhhhh" yells Bmat the Minbari Bear. "What do you thinks you is doin??!!- You has left Cranky outside back there!"
Sammy muttered to himself "I knows there is a brewery aroun here- I can smell it."
Bmat scooted her foot over and slammed on the brake. Once again there were the sounds of brakes squealing and horns and people driving by with perturbed expressions and hand gestures.
Bmat said: "Hold it!!! We needs to get Cranky before going anyplace!!!"
Resigned, Sammy obediently pulled onto the burm and backed up.
Cranky reappeared looking much more relaxed. She glared at Sammy.
Bmat: (doing a lot of hopping from side to side) "Ummm- did you just go outside?"
Cranky: (still glaring) (looking a question at Bmat): "Yeah? you got somethin' to say about that??!"
Bmat: (looking doubtful.as well as hopping from side to side): "Well I means?..outside??"
Cranky: (amused): "Bmat, Bmat, Bmat?.bears do it all the time outside. ?Look?.You watches TV right??.You ever seen that bear with his own roll of toilet paper beside the tree??.What do you think he was doin' ?"
Bmat: (light dawning): "Ohhhhhhh, of course??that really really cute lookin' bear in the commercial *drool*?.well, I is getting desperit , ummm ok- out my way??" She tore off toward the trees.
Shortly a much calmer Bmat the Minbari Bear reappeared.
Bmat: "Now we has got to get Angry outta the bathroom!"
Angry: "grunt?.ommmph (weakly): Help?.Angry stuck. Angry upside down."
Sammy, his beer run thwarted, hobbled over to the kitchen drawer. "Ise gots a solution!" He whipped out a can opener and headed toward the door.
Cranky: "HOLD IT!!?.What hab youse got in mind!! As if I didn't know- you aren't goin' ta cut a whole though the side of the RV are youse?"
Sammy: "Youse gots a better idea?"
Angry "hellllllllppppp?"
Cranky: "sigh?.get back in here Sammy- youse can't do that.."
Sammy: "oh?"
Angry: "hheeellllllllllpppppppp??."
Bmat, (having been thinking all during this exchange- a considerable effort) "Hey!!!!! Is dat a troll???!!!!!"
Kerash!!! Down came the bathroom door!! Angry did a somersault and landed in fighting position. "Where troll??!!! Grrrrrrrrrrr."
Cranky and Bmat looked at each other then back at Angry?"ummm- False alarm? sorry?umm now we needs ta find a RV repair place and get dis door fixed?"
Cranky got behind the wheel this time and the RV lurched into motion again and took the nearest exit into a likely looking town.
Angry and Sammy decided they needed to celebrate Angry's escape. They pulled out another keg.
Message: Repair-bear
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Aug 30, 2000 17:56
Angry didn't want to go to a repair place. He wanted to get to Yellowstone. He also didn't want a door back on there, either. Suddenly, Angry didn't like small places anymore. He looked at the door lying in the little hall. Then he looked at the cushions on the little couch behind the table. A thought occurred to him (a rare event).
Angry pulled up one of the long cushions and went to the bathroom door. He held it up. Perfect!
He looked around at the jumble of stuff that was on the floor from Bmat's sudden stop, and fished out a hammer and some nails from the open tool kit. A few moments later, he had the cushion nailed up at the top.
"There. Better. Now Angry not get stuck in there no more."
He went up to the driver's seat. "Okay Cranky. Angry fix door. We go Yellowstone now. OK?"
Cranky craned her head around to look at the door.
"Look out!" Screamed Bmat, as Cranky veered off the road, taking out a dozen mailboxes before she got the RV under control again. "Nebber ebber take you'se eyes offa da road, Cranky!" Bmat's nerves were just about shot.
Just then, the engine coughed, sputtered, and died.
"Now what?" Wondered Bmat.
"We'se outta gas," volunteered Cranky.
"Gas?" Asked Angry.
Message: What's gas?
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Aug 31, 2000 18:41
Angry had a puzzled expression on his face (a common occurrence). "What's gas, Cranky?"
Cranky clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes. "It's what makes da Winneba - GO!"
Angry scratched his head. "Nope. Long skinny pedal make it go. Little fat peddle make it stop. You put foot on litte fat peddle, Cranky?"
Sammy was nodding right along with Angry. "Yeah, he's exactly right."
Bmat looked unsure. Cranky was beginning to scowl at them. "NO! I means it's da gas what makes da engine run. If da engine don't run, da peddle don't do nuttin'! Now you'se two go find a gas station, and get some gas."
Sammy and Angry looked at each other in puzzlement. Then they looked back at Cranky. "Gas in trees like hunny? In kegs like Sammies?"
"NO! Honestly! You'se goes to da gas station. You'se gets a can o' gas, and you'se brings it back here, and puts it in da gas tank." She could see the look on their faces they still weren't getting it. She grabbed a marker and a piece of paper off the floor and wrote on it:
<center><font size=+5>G A S</center></font size<Message: What's gas?
"Look for a sign dat says dis here, okay?"
Angry and Sammy's faces brightened at that. "Oh, yeah, we'se can read dat dere," said Sammy, and led Angry out to the road, leaving Bmat and Cranky wondering what would happen next.
So Sammy and Angry went looking for Gas. "Angry think Cranky sweet on you, Sammy."
"Nope, she's sweet on Lubber. Or maybe dat stuck up Merley."
Angry laughed. "Merley not a real bear. Merley too . . . . . Pompous."
"Pompous? Where'd you heared dat word, Angry? I'se don't know what dat means! What's dat mean, Angry?"
Angry furrowed his brow. "Angry think it means like fool."
"Huh?"
"Valen call Merley 'pompous fool' all the time. So must mean like fool."
"Oh." Suddenly Sammy stopped and sniffed the air. "You smells dat, Angry?"
Angry sniffed, then grinned at Sammy. "Angry smell! How Sammy always smell first?"
"Nommy says I'se gots a talent fer it. Follow me!"
Sure enough, there was a bar around the corner. A bar that wasn't used to talking bears walking in on their back legs. A bar that became completely panicked at seeing two talking bears walking in on their back legs. A bar that became suddenly vacant, but for the two talking bears walking in on their back legs.
Sammy and Angry went behind the bar, and helped themselves to a couple of glasses, and began downing whatever they had on tap.
[This message has been edited by MerleZ (edited December 18, 2000).]
Message: Meanwhile back at the "bego"
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Aug 31, 2000 19:41
Bmat the Minbari Bear and Cranky Bear are taking advantage of the quiet time to clean up the mess caused by all the sudden stops. There is a rap on the door. Cranky walks to the door and opens it.
An amazingly good-looking bear in a State Police uniform is standing there (Smoky ....Smoky the Bear....get it?? bwahahaha.) "Good afternoon, Ma'am," he says, "Do you need some assistance?"
Cranky's eyes open very wide as she takes in the officer. "ummma ummmma ummmma," she says.
Bmat the Minbari Bear looks up at Cranky's odd words and peers around Cranky to see what is going on. Her jaw drops as she takes in the amazingly good looking bear. She says "ummmma *hrmmm- peace tranquility* um.. Oh hello officer- we's run outa gas but our friends are going to get us some. Thank you though. Ummmm would youse like to come in for a glass of lemonade?"
"Well....thank you, ladies, don't mind if I do...but just for a few minutes."
Message: Back at the bar....
Author: - Bmat Curie
Date: Sep 2, 2000 13:42
Sammy and Angry leaned against the bar, quaffing beers and grinning hugely. They were feeling right at home.
In walked the Sheriff and two deputies: "Just what do you think you too are doing??" asked the Sheriff in a perturbed voice.
Angry and Sammy looked at each other then back at the Sheriff.
Sammy: "Uh...you talkin' ta us?"
Sheriff: "Well do you see anyone else in here?!"
Sammy and Angry took a look around. By golly there wasn't anyone else in the bar. Angry scratches his head and said to Sammy: "Dere were people here when we came in....rite?"
Sammy muttered back to Angry: "Ummm- dunno- I was lookin' at the bar and da beer and didn't pay attenshun."
They both looked back at the Sheriff and grinned sheepishly (bearishly?).
The Sheriff rolled her eyes and snarled: "Cut the wise-cracking and assume the position!"
Angry grinned: ("Sheriff called Angry "Wise" hehehe")
Sammy looked dumm: "Uh.....da posishun?"
The Sheriff gritted her teeth and snarled: "Turn around you two!! spread your legs and put your hands ...paws....behind your heads!"
The bears, slightly soused as they were, shrugged and meekly complied. One of the deputies commented: "Ummm, Sheriff Jules.....we can't cuff them their um wrists are too big."
The other deputy said: "Ummm.. I don't have to frisk them do I?" looking doubtfully at the two bears. "They don't have any pockets..."
The Sheriff snapped: " Do it!!"
The deputy jumped and walked over to the bears, raised his hands and moved them toward the bears, but when Sammy and Angry started to glower and show their fangs he backed off.
The Sheriff sighed and said: "Oh all right! Bring them to the station."
The 5 traipsed across the street and down a block and entered the station. There were a few other deputies there answering phones and processing a few suspects.
Angry and Sammy were told to sit down on a bench and wait for processing. A deputy came along and told them to go to the fingerprinting area. Angry's and Sammy's prints were taken, although they didn't fit into the little squares.
As the two were led back into the main room, they passed the interrogation room where the Sheriff was now questioning a burglary suspect. She was sure he was guilty but had only weak proof.. She shouted in his face: "Look you little Troll......!"
Angry's head snapped around and he charged into the room. " Where Troll!!!!!!, fangs bared, brows lowered.
The hapless suspect proceded to confess to 24 burglaries, 6 shopliftings, 9 muggings and 2 taking candy from babies.
The Sheriff, with a satisfied smile, looked the bears over with new consideration. "You too looking for a job by any chance?"
Sammy grinned "We gots jobs at PATD."
The Sheriff said: "Ahhhh....Well....I guess the town will cover the bar bill...You two can run along now. Come back whenever you like."
Sammy and Angry walked out of the station amidst much cheering and handshaking.
As they meandered down the street, Angry asked: "Hey....weren't we supposed to do somethin' while we was here?"
Angry replied: "Angry forget...."
What happened next got eaten in a SFV meltdown. As a synopses, they got some gas. Angry went fishing in a decorative pond outside a Chinese restaurant. Sheriff Jules decided it was best to just escort the Bears out of town, and get them on their way.
Message: On the road again
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 26, 2000 08:25
The 'bego was moving along the highway. Cranky was at the wheel. Bmat the Minbari Bear and Sammy were puzzling over the road map. Angry was snoring loudly in the back bedroom.
The bears all looked up for a second as they had the funny sensation that someone was watching them- but the feeling was soon gone.
Bmat: "I thinks we is here, Sammy- see dat little orange thingy? Look out there- there's a big orange barn- got to be the same thing."
Sammy: *scratching his head* "Well I dunno, Bmat, I see bunches of those orange thingies but not that many orange barns..."
Bmat: "Ohhh....good point. Hey- I gots an idea! Let's turn the map upside down and see if that helps."
The bears rotate the map around so that the S is on the top.
Sammy says: "So what does those letters mean anyhow, Bmat?"
Bmat, clueless as usual, "Wellll it's like this, Sammy. It depends on how you have the map placed. Ya see when we have it with the S upward, the S means "Speed" so if we take this route we make the best time on the road. Then the N means "No don't go below this line", W means "Wrong way" so we don't goes there, E means "Excellent Choice" so I think we needs ta go kinda between the S and the E- so's we can go good an fast....."Bmat runs out of steam.
Sammy nods wisely, his brain however is thinking...What in the world is she talking about...
Nevertheless he agrees that that sounds like a plan, so the next time they see a turn-off to the left they instruct Cranky to head that way.
Before they get very far, though, the 'bego starts bouncing and making a funny sound. Cranky guides it off the road, and the three of them climb out and inspect the tires. Sure enough one of the tires is flat.
The bears all look at each other shrugging.
Cranky: "Nobody knows how ta change one o these things?"
Bmat and Sammy shake their heads. Angry appears at the door, climbs down, and joins the group.
Angry: "Um....we got jack?"
Cranky: "What's jack?" The other two look at each other and shrug again.
Angry: "*yawn* Angry hitch ride, get help."
Angry stands beside the 'bego, thumb out [bears got thumbs??] but no one even slows down to offer help. After a while, Bmat gets impatient.
Bmat: "ahem!....I'se gonna take care of dis. Umm...Angry, why don't you go look for some berries..." When Angry is safely out of the way, Bmat tells the other bears to wait behind the 'bego. She stands by the road and strikes a provocative pose. She bends one knee alluringly, places one hand behind her head and the other on her hip, and she flutters her eyelashes.
Soon the squealing of wheels is heard as a pickup truck stops quickly and a good-looking young man with a grin on his face asks if he can help. Bmat gives a big smile and says:"
Why, aren't youse just the sweetest lil thing there is!!! I gots this here flat tire and I jus don't have the least idea how ta fix it. I needs a big strong man ta help. *fluttering her eyelashes again.""
The man grins again and says "Sure Ma'am, glad to help a pretty little lady like yourself! Where's your jack?"
Angry, having gathered some berries, arrives back at just that time and hears the word "jack"- he grins hugely and nods: "Yes- jack"
The man's jaw drops as he sees all four of the bears. However he good naturedly changes the tire. The bears are all so grateful they invite him in for a drink. They tap another keg and trade baseball stories. Soon the pizza they ordered is delivered.
By this time it is getting dark. The bears offer to let the man sleep in the 'bego, since they know people should not drink and drive, but he assures them he will sleep in his pickup. They all say good night.
Message: A fishy story
Author: - Sammy Bear
Date: Oct 30, 2000 18:02
Cranky was cruisin da 'bago right along and through the mountains of...er...the northwest? Efveryone was getting hungry by noon time so Angry quickly told Cranky to stop. He saw lunch! They pulled off the side of the road and Angry sniffed his way across a trail...straight to a stream.
There was a bear there, collecting fish. Angry walked up to him and asked "Hows da fishin' mr. bear?" The bear looked at Angry with a quizical look and growled.
Um...Angry..I doesn't think dis bear talks. He's not from around Nomad mtn. Deres no magics here.
Well, the bear went and took a swipe at Angry. Rut Roh...Angry tilted his head and looked that bear straight in the eye. The next thing that bear knew, he was upsidedown on the other side of the stream , against a tree.
Angry simply brushed off his ha..er...paws and started in on the trout.(Never mess with Angry when fish are involved).
Angry and Sammy collected a lot of fish. They had to get a rythem going and it took a few tries. Angry would snatch a fish and toss it behind him , without looking. The first few attempts had Sammy smacked in th snout a few time. After a few more fish, they got it down. They thre the fiash in an empty Sammy case and away they went. Cranky and Bmat sat Wide eyed at all the fish. Of course, at that point, Bmat ordered everyone out of the galley (kitchenette?) AND COOKED LUNCH.
They were on their way from there. Sammy drove all night and Bmat came to the front and asked Sammy where all the mountains went.
"no Bmat. Cranky sez to follow dis road straight to da park"
Angry popped up fron , after hearing the conversation, and said" Angry read. Angry just see sign....we still going dere...sign say...Dis way to Space Mountain"
Message: Meanwhile in the Sunshine State
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Nov 9, 2000 21:13
Oblivious to the national drama being played out all around them, the Bears blundered into Walt Disney World. With Angry at the wheel, Sammy at shotgun, and Bmat and Cranky crammed rather uncomfortably into the little kitchen table benches, Angry followed the signs to Fort Wilderness Resort. He pulled up to the check in station.
"Hi! Welcome to Walt Disney World! My name's Suzy, how can I help you?" The Cast Member was awfully perky.
Angry looked over at Sammy and shrugged. Turning back to perky Suzy, Angry replied. "Angry need place park 'Bago."
"Yes, here at Disney's Fort Wilderness Campground, we have a whole world of adventure waiting for you. Our 784 campsites have water, sewer and electric hookups. Every evening, there's fireside storytelling. Enjoy horseback riding or hiking. Or have a swim in one of our two pools." Bmat and Cranky fervently hoped bears were allowed in the pools. "Have a delicious meal at Crocket's Tavern. Or you can have a rip roarin' good time at the Hoop De Doo Revue."
"Angry like roaring. See?" Angry gave her his best and most feirce roar. The color drained from Suzy's face at that.
"Um, yes, so I see." She forced a smile and continued on. "So, what's your name?"
"Angry Bear," stated Angry. "Your name Suzy. Angry read tag. Angry like reading."
"Yes, that's so nice!" Suzy beamed at him, already recovering her composure. "Now, let me call up your reservation here....." Suzy stared at her computer screen, tapping keys. "Hmmm....." She tapped some more keys.
"Mr. Bear, I'm not finding your reservation. Could it be under another name?"
"Sammy Bear?"
"Um, no, I don't think so. I don't show any reservations for anyone named 'Bear.'"
Angry scratched his head again. "What's 'reservation?'"
Suzy lost her smile momentarily. "Don't you have a reservation? Didn't you call and ask for a campsite ahead of time?"
Angry was rather confused. "No. Angry not mean come here, but need place park 'Bago." He looked at her cheerfully. "We going to Yellowstone. Bmat get us lost."
Suzy was tapping keys furiously. "OK, I can do this. We're not full, lucky for you. And I can get you a site. How will you pay for this?"
Sammy handed Angry a Valen Platinum Visa, which Angry handed to Suzy.
"Very good. Now, I'll use this to make your first night's rent. I've assigned a space near Bay Lake for you. I'm sure you'll love the view. Sign here."
She pushed some papers at Angry, who proudly wrote his name down everyplace he was told to.
Suzy gave them directions to their campsite, and soon the 'Bago was rumbling down the trail toward Bay Lake, though Sammy's nose started twitching when they passed Crocket's Tavern.
Message: Meanwhile back at Bay Lake...
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Dec 14, 2000 12:51
The bears were getting their camp set up, though Angry continually was stopping and staring at nearby Bay Lake. Sammy was equally distracted, stopping every now and then to sniff the air in the direction of Crocket's Tavern.
With everything set up, Bmat and Cranky had settled down at a picnic table to look at some brochures that Perky Suzy had given them. Angry started to wander toward the lake. Sammy stood looking at everyone, then looking wistfully in the direction of Crocket's Tavern. Then, reluctantly, he followed Angry down to the lake's edge, knowing he wouldn't be able to dissuade that bear from fishing....
Several campers were swimming in the lake, and noticed the two rather large bears walking upright in their direction. But Angry and Sammy were oblivious to their points and screams.
Angry walked along the bank for a bit, peering into the water. Then spying a likely bass, he jumped in and made a lunge. A wriggling bass flew up on the bank, and Sammy grabbed it. After just a few minutes, there were several wriggling bass on the bank, and Angry climbed out of the lake.
Angry and Sammy gathered up the fish, and headed back to their camp. Bmat and Cranky hardly noticed them drop their catch on the picnic table, being so engrossed in the guidemap to the Magic Kingdom.
Sammy nudged Angry. "I'se smells some Sammies." Angry nodded and the two snuck off in the direction of Crocket's Tavern.
Still smarting from Valens comment, implying she was no lady, Tandara takes out her cellphone and dials the phone. She?d show that two bit MRI a thing or to!
She tosses the rest of the ornaments back into the car and smiles as she hangs up the phone. Strolling back into the PATD tandara takes a seat at the bar close to Valen?s table.
Motioning CT over she whispers something in here ear. Giggling CT takes a seat next to the WB and waits for the show to begin.
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"Kinky is using a feather ? Perverted is using the whole chicken"