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for all that it's worth.... friendship hurts the worst I believe. A psycho babble ramble awaits. For the faint of heart ... turn your mouse around and head to the nearest Hardcore section of the boards.... If you are inclined to go along for the ride.... put your feet flat on the floor one foot slightly in front of the other and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times and DO NOT feed the animals... thank you for your cooperation. (sorry we say that during handwriting)
Been sitting here thinking, reflecting... reading old threads about friendship and loyalty.... and Heidi has some posts about friendship and loyalty..and to be honest I was trying to figure them out.... it was hard... its unclear to me what she means by that... but in some ways its clearer.
Online...Virtual Highway... whatever you wanna call it.
Anonymousland..... Population 1..... isn't that what the internet is really all about?
Being nice to a stranger... being rude to a stranger... idle chitchat with a stranger...... getting your groove on with a stranger.... sharing your favorite books ...on a board with a stranger....sitting in a chat room watching strangers....
or...
or perhaps you let someone in.... a lil closer
doesnt mean...youre lovey dovey with them....
I mean... friends....more than ..."nice to see you......and Heya!"
but..friends...hurt friends....
they can play games
they act funny
they disappear...
they say mean things
so that loyalty to self...... comment...sticks out.....to me...
Why do people feel the need to be hateful and hurtful? Why do some people think that it is okay to just walk away on here..when if we lived in your town youd never be able to?... or would you put on a red wig and high heels and pretend to ....*ruby the new neighbor....? I THINK NOT
COwards I say.....
People can be soo cruel...
So...a hostboardie... went to chatinn..and pretended not to know me..... real nice eh? Me, *L of course ..im nice... I said hello to them...chatted a little. Did I think that chatter was odd? umm...yes...... but...well, lots of odd people out there...Should trust my instincts... I even wondered about that person a little bit....thought they were.......... another person... But..when I found out they were talking to me on MSN and in there... thats all I needed to know......
rude i say....game playin rude
but worse than rude
is you played with a fragile heart
oh trust me..it will outlast you..and your mentally ill...game playing...
but i always say...... the hell you deal out comes back....to you...
no wait..ZAkk WYlde said that.........
well i stole it from him..
So ask my why i seem distant... cuz... im just trying to live..day to day.... doin my thing.... for me.............. right by my standards...and morals...which are pretty freaking high.....
so fuck off....and go..away....
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but..but..my red hair is real..*tugs on it*and i dont wear hig heels.hmm..thats a lie... [img]eek.gif[/img]
well..no matter..i LOVE you! [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]
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yeah..youre right
youre a pretty redhead tho *G
and ya know...even us staying friends is hard here....lots of distance....hard to interpret written words..ect........but we work on it..
and in my own twisted way............. im so much better for it
i love you too.. even tho im very distant right now.... i love you and at least you know that..
*smacks..Mr Sensible*
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well...i will only let you get so far away..before i hunt you down..this you know..cause we are more then internet friends..and dontcha ever ever forget it..i am never so far i cant get to you..and your not going to be either..i wont allow it.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
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The Things You Do
Color my world all black & blue
The hell you dish out
Comes back three-fold to you
Inside your riddled rotten core
I hope you get what you deserve
Worse & even more
How can you do the things you do?
You make Satan look like Christ
I swear its true
How could you do the things you do?
The Rolling Stones once sang a tune
Singing words of sympathy
Yet none were sung for you
If the lord of darkness seen you comin' his way
He'd get on his knees
And look to Jesus
and start to pray
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I spent alot of time on the internet worrying about how people felt, listening to the tears, and their hurts...only to have them turn around and (as Rotten puts it) jump on the most popular band wagon at the time...
So you see..i'm choosy now on who i devote my time to. On who i trust with my inner thoughts and feelings.
There are so many of you that i'm so very fond of and would be there for you if you ever needed me...you know who you are..because i'm still speaking to you..and would be there for you should you ever ask for my help or my shoulder
I'm a caregiver by nature..and as Deb always accuses me...i wear my heart on my sleeve..
For those that have used and crossed me unfairly..i just plainly refuse to ..suits me..cause at the end of the day, i don't lose sleep over it..
Heidi's right...click the X and leave..
and Chloe!! *hugs you tight*..you're an incredible lady...if people choose to treat you badly, it's their loss on a beautiful caring lady!!
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yeah im just surprised at myself...
for being a gullible fool.......... sheesh
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She's talking about me. Last night I was very depressed and very drunk. A very bad combination. And I did something incredibly stupid. I wish I could turn back time and undo it but I can't. I honestly have no idea what I was thinking. I am man enough to stand here and admit it, and man enough to stand here and read all the things that were said about me in this post. I can't condone what I did. All I can say is how much it hurts to read these things even if we aren't friends in the true sense of the word. I lost control last night. I am not a pervert or a stalker. I have my problems too. Hurting random strangers is not my intention.
You all love Chloe and with good reason. She's one of the most wonderful people that I've "met", and now I've lost her friendship forever. You can't imagine how that one night of stupidity will haunt me for a long time. I ripped out two hearts last night. You all have every right to hate me for what I did. I'm sure as hell not asking for your forgiveness or sympathy
There, I've had my little rant.
Boy meets girl, boy fucks up.
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I'm a very private person in real time, and that carries over more so usually on the net, but from the day I met heidi, we've always, and I mean always, had that trust and loyalty as if we'd known each other a lifetime, I still say she's my evil twin *G* *LOL*...Its hard to open up and trust people online, so very hard...and so very many take advantage of those that choose to, that I choose not to for the most part...I keep my distance for a reason...I have chatted and befriended many people over the umpteen years I have chatted, and she is the only person, as well for me, that has shown me loyalty...and has earned my trust...I try and return the effort, because friends like that are few and far between in life..we don't agree on some things, no doubt *L* but we know how to agree to disagree... [img]wink.gif[/img]
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So why type all this and not name names...See I have been a little distant myself....and the reasons I am...are probably not justified..Therefore Im not goin to select people individually and blast them...Cause really what does it matter..
In the end people do what they want...but I will tell you this..I hate people that take and never give.....
I see this all the time here....and there is very little loyalty...on the internet....
Redhead has been the only one thats had my back 100% since I met her here....and when I say 100% I dont mean when she thought I was wrong she agreed...she told me she thought I was...Fair enough
......but when I felt strongly about something whether she did or not..she had my back about it..
I dont see loyalty as always agreeing with someone ..but definately understanding how they feel about something and respecting it....Especially if they would do the same to You
People feel a certain way and wouldnt dare open their mouths because they wouldnt want to rock that virtual boat their sailing in.....Anyway...Chloe not sure who your referring too...but Yeah they can fuck off..*S*
<font color="#ff0000" size="1">[ January 12, 2003 12:05 PM: Message edited by: heidi! ]</font>
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i named his name...
mr sensible...
im stickin to my girls...... just easier...
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ahh..Mr. Sensible.......Never heard of him and never knew they existed....
I wonder why I have to highlight to see here now..damn everything annoys me lately.. [img]confused.gif[/img]
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Heidi..youve taught me lots of things....since ive had to pleasure of getting to know you...
and i appreciate that...
and im here...if you decide to be less distant....
and if not....... thats cool too...
you... have taught me....more about myself...from looking at things from a diff angle...than i thought possible.....
and for that..
i treasure you
and get your skinny ass to magna chat..im screamin your name in there..every freakin day
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This was a very heart-felt and emotional thread. I enjoyed reading it very much and so much said I totally agree with and have felt so many times before I stopped counting....
One thing I have learning in my 32 years and it was not easy to do...or know the difference...
You got to hold on to the ones that count and know when to let go of the ones that don't...know when to fight and know when to walk away...but, never stop trying or be afraid to fall or fail, or better yet don't be afraid of looking like a fool either.....because sometimes you get handed a gift of life...or you find a treasure in the least place expected...and suddenly you have a friend for life....
Every experiance is worth going thru if you learn something or get something from it that makes you better for it......
