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Subject: 2 Tough Questions...
Question 1
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who
had 8 kids already, three who were
deaf, two who were blind, one mentally
retarded, and she had syphilis; would
you recommend that she have an abortion?
Question 2
It is time to elect a new world leader,
and your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three leading
candidates:
Candidate A:
Associates with crooked politicians, and
consults with astrologists.
He has had two mistresses. He also chain
smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis day.
Candidate B:
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps
until noon, used opium in college and
drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
Candidate C:
He is a decorated war hero. He is a
vegetarian, does not smoke, drinks an
occasional beer and has not had any
extramarital affairs.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchil
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler
And, by the way:
Answer to the abortion question, if you
said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
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<font size=30>LMMFAO!!!</font>
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there was more on that email...
i didn't post it because i wanted
to respond to it separately...
so now i will.
it ended with the following:
Remember amateurs built the ark.....Professionals built the Titanic.
somehow i think certain people will
automatically know how i reacted to this.
so i'll save time by posting my thoughts.
the statement may be true (if you buy the
whole ark thing), but the implied meaning
by this statement is incorrect...and sneaky.
it attempts to lead you to believe that
'those whom built the ark' were superior
to those professionals that built the
titanic...and because the titanic sank,
doubt must be issued to those of whom are
professionals.
(i shant go into the god thing...its
pretty obvious)
the thing is...
there is no issue with those whom BUILT
the ships... just in the driving of those
ships.
and to me, floating a boat on a planet
covered in water wouldn't take a genius.
secondly, all the 'ark members' had to do
was stay afloat...which wasn't really
hard considering they were 'chosen'.
but the crew aboard the titanic were
actually doing something...and in difficult
seas.
not only that, but relying on a person
stationed in (maybe remotely like) a
crows nest is pretty remarkable.
next tangent:
let's not confuse myth and reality here.
if you wanna compare apples and oranges,
be my guest.
but i don't recall any (REAL)sea-worthy
vessel as being made by mere amatuers.
oooooooh, i better stop now.
i'm getting riled up.
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And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark. "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "In six months it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have the Ark completed or learn to swim for a very long time."
Six months passed. The skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping... And there was no Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord, "Where is the Ark?"
"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project. And your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to re-draw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system."
"Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince the U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I need the wood to save the Owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls, much less cut the wood. So, no owls. The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have sixteen carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls. Then I started gathering up animals and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind."
"Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being. Then the Army Corp of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.
Right now, I 'm still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many employees I'm supposed to hire. The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country. And I just got a notice from the state about owing them some kind of use tax. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for at least another five years." Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked hopefully.
"No," said the Lord sadly, "The government already has."
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lol...nice post, tg.
but that brings about another thing:
if god gave noah plans for the ark,
did the author of my email consider
god an amatuer?
hmmm
ponderings ponderings
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secondly...
i find it awfully hard to believe
that noah...much less anyone, got
that kinda action from the government
in 6 months. [img]redface.gif[/img]
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Dont you know anything, boy?
Noah's family helped him. He had kids and stuff.
And the animals formed a path and came to him. Much like the yellow brick road.
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you mean to tell me that animals from
the amazon made the trek across the tundra???
you gotta be kidding me.
ain't no amazon animal walking through russia.
here's something else:
there is the secondary claim that, at the
time, all the continents were together (pangea)
and the animals were easily accessible.
if that were true, then the religion is
using science to back its claim.
plate techtonics is relevent to evolution,
therefore, is this to say that the justification
of 'how the animals got on the ark' is
(hyprocritically) taken from science???
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
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I'll explain it to you later...ive gotta go now.
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if noah's ark existed in pangea, why didn't he pack dinosaurs?
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from what i understand, those fossils
you see are only temptations placed by
the devil. they aren't real.
hense, dino's never existed.
case closed.
which still brings up what i said--
how come they can pick and choose
which scientific theory they wanna
use to justify their BS???
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AmateurS built the ark *implying more than one*
yet it was Noah *implying one and only*
who built the ark..
Who helped him? Also, Back in those days, he was probably not an amateur, seeing as men had to do labor intensive work with wood and what not else every day just to be able to survive. If you weren't good with your hands in SOME way... most of the time very related to woodworking or something like that, you'd be useless.
So, now seeing as Noah was not an amateur, however compared to those who built the Titanic he probably was.. but still... seeing as he was not an amateur, does that phrase hold any relevance?
Also, how could he collect two of every species.. what about the species overseas? They're dead...that's for sure.. he could only collect what was within his region of living, which means he did not complete his task, otherwise he would have had to build a smaller boat, sail around the world collecting all these animals, have enough food on the boat for them all *which means it would have had to have been another ARK sized boat, which took him 6 months of constant labor to build (or however long it was until the floods came)* which is totally unfeasible. Noah ... the ark... i wonder...
but as for the amateur thing, someone should get their head out of their ass!
