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ALRIGHT PEOPLE!!! LISTEN UP!!
I am Sergant Powers!!! Your senior Drill Instuctor!! for the next 8 weeks you belong to me, and Sgt Ski (Ski: Tell'em, SteveDave...). We will Whip you sorry sacks into shape.. and make you lean mean, posting machines. You will sweat, you will bleed, you WILL LOVE IT AND ASK FOR MORE!!!
*walks down the line*
YOU!! ERIS!! Stop eyeballing me!! DROP!!
EVERYBODY DROP!!!
FRONT!! BACK!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
FLUTTER KICKS!!
ON YOUR FEET!!
SKI!! TELL 'EM!!
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 29, 2002 10:20 PM: Message edited by: Firebird98 ]</font>
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"OK !! LISTEN UP YOU TERDS!!! *walks the line*
YOU!! whats your name!!! Jelymo!?!?!
sounds like you's a Spammer!!!
Are you a spammer??? Better stop eyeballin me...
SGT POWERS!!!
What do you want to do to this...RIFF RAFF first?
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Well, well, well....
*walks over to Jely*
look at this.. "cute" halo... *tosses halo on the floor*
think yer cute now? grab your rucks.. we're going to the gas chamber... see how cute you are after that...
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*See's a girl laughing*
OH SO YOU THINK THATS FUNNY DO YOU PVT...ERIS!!!!
I tell you what, you just joined pvt, jelys fun.
What your not laughing now??? to bad.
Anyone else what to make a joke????
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SKI... we got a funny man over here..
private... MIBBIT!!!
Pvt Mibbit.. exactly what in the hel lare those little things that follow you around? Are we allowed pets in the barracks? Are they your buddies? your homeys? you pezos? Ya know.. it doesn't matter...
Because you are ALL ON KP FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT!!
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WELL WHAT HAVE WE HERE....
PVT CRAZY!!! you seem like a real go getter!!!!
From now on Pvt. Crazy is your squad leader!!!
DO YOU MAGGOTS UNDERSTAND!!!!
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Pvt Bran... You also look like you'd be a good squad lead-
what
the
hell...
Pvt JAXOM... DO YOU EVEN EXIST? WHY ARE YOU HERE?
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It would look as though pvt. Jax is having a identity crisis, *looks at jax * from now on you name will be pvt. snowball. do you like that name? good cause it fits you!!
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now, now, now...
Seems we have us here a Chaos Butterfly...
are you about to cause some chaos in my barracks?
CB: no..
WHAT?
CB: No..
SPEAK UP!!
CB: NO!!!
better... I'll be watching you...
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PVT. WILOE!!! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SPATULA!?!?!?!
Wil: nu..nothing
THATS WHAT I THOUGHT!!!!
NOW GET RID OF THAT THING BEFORE YOU FIND IT STUCK IN YOUR ASS, ROGER!!!
Wil: YES SIR!!
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 29, 2002 11:03 PM: Message edited by: Ski ]</font>
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SIR?!?
SIR?!?
LISTEN UP, MISSY... YOU WILL ADRESS US AS DRILL SERGEANT, BECAUSE WE WORK FOR A DAMN LIVING.. WE'RE BUSTIN OUR HUMPS POSTING WHILE YOU SLEEP, OR GO OUT PARTYING WITH YOUR FRINEDS.. IT WAS US UP LATE AT NIGHT, MAKING SURE YOU STILL HAD A BOARD TO GO TO.
AND THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU!!
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 29, 2002 11:04 PM: Message edited by: Firebird98 ]</font>
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Hey, can I go to the beach? Please, please, can I, huh, can I, please, huh?
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*Whispers to Wiloe*
Does this mean we have to shave our heads?
Do you have any idea how long its taken me to get it to grow it this long without permanently looking like a stray dog?
*looks more and more concerned the more she contemplates the possibility*
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*addresses platoon*
LISSEN UP! Senior Drill Instructor may call you people "privates", but as far as I'M concerned, you're not a private until you graduate from boot camp. To me, you're RECRUITS: lower than privates, lower than civilians. I've already gone through this game once before, so another 8 weeks is nothing to me.
*points to a la-z-boy off to the side of the quarterdeck*
See that chair? That's my chair. I'm going to sit in that chair and sip a lemonade every time one of you freaks gets on that quarterdeck to dig. What's "dig"?
Mountain-climbers.
Push-ups.
Leg-lifts.
Bend-and-thrusts.
Jumping jacks.
Look out the windows. See those squared-off areas of sand? You will also dig there. That's called "going to the beach".
If you don't want to go to the beach, I suggest you RECRUITS get with the program!
Oh, here comes Senior Drill Instructor. I wonder what advice he has to impart upon us today?
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*gets nose to nose with Lulu*
BECAUSE IT IS A GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!
NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!!!
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I KEEP TELLING THOSE MIBBITS TO STOP FOLLOWING ME WHILE I'M IN CAMP, SIR! (it's just not military if you don't say it in bold lettering)
(Notices General arriving. He addresses the troops on new military policy, saying,"No exceptions, even the STP division!". Said policy is for an uncensored pledge of allegiance every morning.)
But, General Halftrack, SIR, we all swore our national allegiences when we joined up. That should be enough. I'd rather opt ou--
(The sound of many rifles clacking, the General's aids point their barrels at Mibbitmaker, surrounding said poster) [img]eek.gif[/img]
I PLEDGE ALLEGIENCE, TO THE FLAG.....
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SHUT IT!!!!!
YOU MIGHT GET AWAY WITH THAT CRAP AROUND THE GENERAL BUT NOT HERE IN MY ARMY!!!!
NOW DROP AND DO FLUTTER KICKS TILL I'M TIRED!!!
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(Thinks the following internally, so as not to get in trouble)
Yeah, if you call having a bunch of government-issue rifles pointed at you, ready to turn you into an Enron memo, "getting away with that crap".
(The General comes back, having overheard the proceding post (though not my comments, which I didn't say out loud). He almost presses his face against Sgt. Ski's, after a scolding glance at the flutter-kicking Mibbit.)
GEN. HALFTRACK: "What's this I hear about me letting insubordinants 'get away' with things??" (another glance at yours truly, then back at Ski; same expression) "Hmm... looks like I have two recalcitrants in my army. IS THAT RIGHT, SERGEANT?"
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General, if you don't mind, I TRAIN THESE POSTERS, NOT YOU!!! PLEASE EXCUSE YOURSELF FROM MY TRAINING AREA!!
*looks at mibbit*
Tired yet?
Mibbit: yes... sergant....
TOO BAD!!!
1,2,3,4...1,2,3,4..
ANYBODY ELSE WANNA BITCH AND MOAN? CAUSE IF I HEAR JUST ONE SNIVEL.. YOU'LL BE SKINNIN' TATERS WITH THE OTHER FOLKS OVER THERE!!
PVT CRAZY!! Doin' a hell of a job!!!
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(hard to type this, flutter-kicking AND transcribing (whew!), thought Mibbit, internally, of course)
GEN. HALFTRACK: "Hold on there, son... PULLING RANK, EH? I'M YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER, SOLDIER, AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT FROM ANYBODY!
...EXCEPT MY WIFE... ANd, of course, Miss Buxley... Beetle kinda... well...."
(The General pauses, as both unit commanders and pvt. Mibbit sweat out the possibilities, not to mention the calestenics (or however you spell it))
GEN.: "...carry on, sgt." (sighing softly) (muttering: ) "bet the general in Sad Sack never hadda put up with this..."
...
(Just then, a stray mibbit peaks out from behind a telephone pole...)
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Carry on general, this is my show here..
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Mibbitmaker:
(Just then, a stray mibbit peaks out from behind a telephone pole...)</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
What in the HELL is THAT?
I THOUGHT I SAID NO PETS IN MY BARRACKS!!
*puts stray mibbit in the front leaning rest position*
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(Thinking in a Groucho voice) I've been trying to get him into a front leaning rest position for years, the lousy insubordinate little creature!
(Just then, President Bush shows up, secret service in tow, turns to the platoon and says...)
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 30, 2002 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Mibbitmaker ]</font>
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President Bush: Hi troops!! Whoa.. is that... it is!! Sgt Powers!! How ya doing? Man it's great to see you again!!
SP: Thanks sir. I am doing fine. How was the flight?
PB: Fine, fine. Say, what the hell is that?
*looks at mibbit*
SP: That, Mr. President, is a mibbit. They seem to follow the large one. Don't ask me what they are other than that.
PB: Ah, I see. Well, just stopped by to see if we were still on for lunch at your place.
SP: Damn right we are. And don't stiff me on the brew this time. And bring the twins, too.
PB: Keep dreaming.
*President Bush leaves*
Now, Mibbit.. we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, and my way is the easy way, which is the hardest way you can imagine...
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*Nervously clutching enlistment papers...*
Why does my brain keep whispering that this is a good idea?
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 30, 2002 12:47 PM: Message edited by: Lulu ]</font>
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Oh, Sgt Powers... just out of curiosity...
*Who's* in charge on this board?
*flutters eye lashes*
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*Looks up fom under the bed covers*
This has got to be the noisest B&B I've ever stayed at.
*Looks around and fails to find either the morning paper or a continental breakfast. Puts on a camo dressing gown and slippers and goes to look for the manager*
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*looks at August*
I didn't realize they MADE fuzzy slippers in camo....
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Oh yeah.. we wear all the latest fashions by Arme' here...
Festive outfits for any occasion!! Goes really well with the M-4 assault rifle for night time raids!!
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Oh, Sgt. Powers, you finally showed up. Now, tell me again, WHO'S in charge of this board?
http://www.hostboard.com/forums/
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*points to hat*
Right now I'M IN CHARGE!!
NOW MAKE YOUR BED!! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WORK AS A NIGHT AUDITOR FOR SOME HOTEL CHAIN!!!
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*blink*
Why would I make a bed? I've got a perfectly good one right there.
I'm confused.
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you call that a hospital corner?
I bet you'd kill for room service to come and help you out right now.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ July 01, 2002 08:45 AM: Message edited by: Firebird98 ]</font>
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*blink*
Room service? But I already ate. Why would I want room service at THIS hour? Besides, it's so EXPENSIVE!
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Room service, housekeeping.. whatever. ain't a soul there that'd wanna be in your shoes right now.
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But I'm not wearing any shoes right now...
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matter of fact.. you're not waering anything.
FER CHRIST'S SAKE WOULD YA COVER YOURSELF?!?!?!
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*bursts out laughing*
*addresses Sgt. Powers*
You think I'm in boot camp as a recruit?? What're ya, nuts? (don't answer that)
Reasons I'm not a recruit:
a) I'm gay! And you know it. So, guess I broke that "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
b) Hello, I'm a ninja lesbian. I've had more training than you've EVER dreamed of.
I'm here on official business. One of your recruits is not as he/she seems and it's my job to figure it out.
*continues to watch everyone with a trained eye*
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*streaks*
heh, this is fun...
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Hey Senior Drill Instructor! It looks like those recruiters out in the world are signing up a bunch of comedians! HAW!
Recruit Bran! I don't know what they taught you on Mount Fuji, but you haven't had training until you've had OUR training. And I don't know what "agency" sent you here "undercover", but by the time we're done with YOU, you're gonna want to do your hai-karate on them!
One more thing: don't ask, don't tell...DON'T CARE! We are all one color: GREEN! There is only one sex: NONE!
AS YOU WERE!
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As I was when?
Bran, are these army guys as confusing as I think they are?
