this might

upset a couple of people
but here goes, anyways..

i don't have time for the pc anymore..
not for a couple more weeks, anyways..
i seem to find myself involved
with people who aren't constants in my life

what i mean?
i've become very close to someone
i don't like to use the term boyfriend
but in this case
that's what he'd be,
i suppose..
i care for him very dearly,
but in two weeks
he's leaving..
so lately
the only spare time i have
is to be spent with him
because every second does matter

how i get myself into situations like this
i don't know..
but after he's gone..
gosh..
i don't know..
i'm going to miss him so very much..
it's so great to have someone in your life
who makes you feel alive
who i can be silly with..
or serious..

but after he leaves
it's back to the same old thing...
waiting for phone calls and emails..

i just don't know if
my heart's in it anymore..

but i sppose..
the kind of person i am..
it might be better to be apart from him
even tho it will only be for a short while
it's still too long, if you ask me..

we spent a weekend together in vancouver this past weekend
and let me tell you..
i thought i cared about him before that..
and now..
it's going to be so hard to say goodbye..

i guess not really goodbye..
more like so long..

even now,
as i'm typing this to you..
i feel my heart breaking..

i finally have good things in my life
and everything's coming together
so perfectly
and it's going away..

i just don't know..

i'm so lost...

aside from that..
i have no pc at home..
the computers at work are
the only access i have
and even then,
i don't like to use them simply because
it only reminds me of a life i once lived..

i've severed all ties in my previous life
but this one seems to no longer
be a comfort..
don't get me wrong..
i miss a,ll of my friends here, dearly
but for once..
i'm alive..
and as much as i'd like to be here and tell you what's going on..
i just can't do it like i used to..
so i'll try and visit..
but if i don't..
i know you all understand..

i need to get my head straightened out again
and figure out what's best for me

like i said, tho
this isn't goodbye
only,
see ya around, hopefully..

i do miss you guys [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
i hope you are all well
and enjoying your summers =)

*hugs where they belong

Paige...while there is a lot of sadness in this post...it made me smile...i see you growing up *S*

that's not meant in any way to be derogatory, just that i see such maturity and courage shining through your words

finding love is a magical thing and one that we don't need to let go even if geographical distances are involved...it makes it harder, but it doesn't make it impossible

the computer, and chatting and posting and friends here....they don't disappear, but breaks can be good and life-affirming...friendship when it's real, survives distance, silence and long long gaps in contact...so those who care will always be around for you no matter how long between the 'see you' and 'hello again'

i just wanted to let you know i'm proud of you and all you have achieved in the past few months and know you will just go from strength to strength

good luck lil one, be safe

Fi

Fiona is right....your true friends will always be here*S*
you just go and do what you need to do to make YOU happy and whole
I too am so very proud of you and I know you're strong enough to make it through anything life throws at you
*Heartsyousomuch*
Be well and stay strong Paige [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Paige...live life to its fullest! Enjoy it
while you can! If anyone is upset because
you are alive....then....were they a real
friend? As long as I was away...you were
here for me when i needed you...same will
be for you...you will always have people
here who love you no matter how long you
are gone...just remember.....I [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] you
and am so proud of everything you are doing...
just take care of you for me k? *HUGEHUGS*

Paigy poo you better come see me now i worrys about yas and im gonna miss ya *HUGGLES*

Paige, I always knew you'd go one day..you arent meant for a computer life..your too alive..vibrant..and way to beautiful..your life is out there in the sunshine with lots of people round you..no one here would ever begrudge you of that..live it..enjoy it..and think of me from time to time..*grins*..love you lil one..as always im here whenever you come back round!


Your missing him will bring you closer..its not a forever leaving..as you said..temporary..use it to think of all the special things you want to say and do when he comes back..plan for the future..work yourself silly..and time will go by fast..till you meet again..i wish you all the luck in the world.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

quit cryin..... [img]graemlins/grrr.gif[/img]

all i seem to do these days is cry..
sorry, evo

so joe's gone..
i'm alone..
and now that dad and lucy aren't fighting
i become the object of rage

so i'm down to..
the end of the month
and he's shipping me back to reveljoke..
if i don't have a home by then..

now,
i have found a roommate
but we can't get a place till after the end of the month..
sooooo...

couch surfing it is..
*attempts a lil dance..

i'm going to spend christmas with joe and his family
he wants me there for my birthday
so i figure..
my program ends at the end of november..
get my stuff here tied up..
and from my birthday till like the end of december..
i'll be with him
and then we're going to move back here..

but..

things could change, i suppose..

who knows..

my dad disowned me last night..
i got a new tattoo!

it says
NO TRUTH around the top of my first one..
and NO LIES around the bottom of it..
it doesn't look the best but that's ok..
everybody has a couple of mistakes
no regrets, tho
because, of course, i love it..

even tho it caused this huge battle with my family
blah..

anyways.. back to work, i suppose..

have a nice day everybody!
~waves n runz...

oh!!
and thanks, guys...
it means a lot..
readin what ya all had to say..
*wipes away a lil tear..

ya'll be good to yourselves..
i miss you like crazy

Paigey poo i so miss you *HUGGIES YA TIGHT*

as everyone already said Paigey Pooh yer true friends will be here for you always...i haven't been around much lately but know you are always in my thoughts*hugs* i miss ya girl

whoa! what????
disowned over a tattoo?
fuck that!
*adopts my paige*
*Hugs you tight* [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

damn i miss out on everything....guess i should get my head out my own rage and stuff

paige ya been on my couch very few times. i dont know it all nor do i claim to. but i could im sure give ya a bit of advice ya know how to find me...the main part is ya gotta want it...

smooches hugs sits in ya lap and all that computer stuff.. [img]wink.gif[/img]

hey guys!
i moved on sunday night
living with some dude in the military
sweeeeet
not really, but it's only till december
sooooo
that's ok i guess..

bama..
i don't get into chat anymore
i don't have a pc..
so i just use the ones at work
but you can pm me
and i usually check this shit a couple times a week or so

so i've decided..
i'm gonna get another tattoo
of course

and beneath it
i'm gonna get it to say
daddy's little girl
just to spite that fucker

hah!
should be interesting..

so in other words..
things are goin pretty good,
for the most part..

as for pictures of the arm..
i still don't have any...
but i'm workin on it,..

in other words:
you could be waiting a loooong time
heh

[img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]
miss you Paige *HUGS*