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I think you've been busted.
You lurked at a former forum I used to be a part of, and were amused and as I was attacked by a couple of posters over and over.
You may have even joined in. Lurking, enjoying the show, was sick enough. Now I know why you suppress your shame.
who said anything about me being 'amused'???
you need to be frisked.
I'll handle this one, boys.
i have no idea how to respond to that [img]confused.gif[/img]
alex, you are insane.
Amused, Bemused, incensed, bored...whatever you felt. You did nothing but view the harrassment I went through on that forum as a "show". As entertainment. Some of the comments made against me were so over the top, you could have annihilated the point just by answering it.
Because I kept answering the negative comments that were directed towards me, it made me look defensive. If I didn't answer them, it would have given weight to the point being made against me. There were a couple of posts that were so blatantly off, that related to how Hostboard works, that you could have posted just to clear the air.
At one point, one of these three people, (two of who knew each other from another forum) chided me because my signature name of Alex was linked to this forum. It was about the dumbest comment imagineable. Most of the regulars on the forum didn't visit other Hostboard forums, so they didn't know what to make of the signature link "allegation". But you knew how ridiculous the claim was, and did nothing but watch me try and answer a lose lose propostion.
If you can't see how fowl it was to witness and even take in as entertainment my situation last year on the other fourm, it's quite obvious this is a reflection of a personal system you have invoked to insulate you from all others in such a way to replacing "feel" real-life emotions by pre-ordaining every situation as it is happening.
Your decision to throw away certain valid emotional states so that you can "feel" in control at all times is a mirage. As is the way of the world, no plan is fool proof, because any who believes in a fool proof believes in plan devised by a fool.
i do not 'throw away' certain emotions in order
to 'feel in control'. i throw away certain
imposed emotions that have no real foundation
in the order of things. 'imposed' because they
have no real substance other than to keep you
believing that you are inept, and basically,
infinite.
now if you want to regenerate the 'shame' post,
feel free. but you will never be able to convince
me or anyone that 'shame' as well as other
second-class emotions are prudent and necessary,
especially after i show how they aren't.
and as for viewing a spectacle of man vs. man...
i quite enjoy it. i do not have to interrupt.
alex, you view countless 'atrocities' every day
of your life, yet you do nothing.
the day you take your own medicine/advice, is
the day i will consider it.
surely what happened over a year ago is not relevant or important anymore???
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by shatzy:
and as for viewing a spectacle of man vs. man...
i quite enjoy it. i do not have to interrupt.
alex, you view countless 'atrocities' every day
of your life, yet you do nothing.
the day you take your own medicine/advice, is
the day i will consider it.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
Three things come to mind. One, your friend speed racer "contributed" to this topic.
Two, Soulfilms contributed to this topic.
Now, what do Soulfilms and Speedracer have in common. Hmmm. Lets think about this...hmmmm. Wait, I think I've got it, they know you, and they interceded.
Imagine that. People who know you didn't just stand pat and watch. What a concept.
What relevance does my witnessing atrocities have to do with you? What are you implying? That I can't hang a verdict on you because my way in life is no different? That is completely irrelevant, but what is more bizarre is you have in the past chastized me FOR getting involved in other people's atrocities. Get your story straight.
Or have you forgotten the pregnant women who was smoking.
Your modus operandi during my problems on the other forum a year a year ago, our e-mails after that time, where you chastized me for wondering why you saying things that sounded like you visited that forum, and even into the ADM slander post, all follow a bizarre pattern. It is a pattern that guarantees your safety at every point in time, even as you bemuse yourself at the plight of others.
And then you called me a criminal.
Funny how that works, even as you scorn society's hope for immortality, you create your immortality one nanosecond at a time, via ambivalence to the plight of others.
i do not create any sense of immortality with
my posts. LOL... you are funny.
secondly, i prefer ambivalence to 'the plight
of others' because its a key element to
understanding.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Originally posted by Alex:
Wait, I think I've got it, they know you, and they interceded.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
TG and SF didn't exactly 'intercede'... unless
you want to play a semantics game with me.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Alex:
What relevance does my witnessing atrocities have to do with you? What are you implying? That I can't hang a verdict on you because my way in life is no different? That is completely irrelevant</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
hypocrisy is never irrelevant except for the
majority of people that perfer to remain hypocritical.
i never visited the damned super8 forum prior
to posting on DT. my comment on the admin. forum
was to awaken you to the idea that people CAN
lurk without posting. just because i post on your
forum does not obligate me to stand in/up for
you. i post when i feel like posting. some issues
seem important for me to show an alternate side.
on the super8 BS, both sides were adequately
represented... with the exception of the admin.
forum... when the opposing side wasn't present,
until i came along.
THINK, alex.
my 'pattern' isn't so difficult to read/understand.
btw... if you want to continue making the 'criminal'
comment an issue, i'll have you know that i
will not go back on it. if your attempt at
continuously bringing it up is to serve me to
feel something skewed from what i felt when i
posted it, you are wasting your time.
if you want to issue some sort of warrant about
my 'erratic' posting behavior about the (lack of)
concern toward my 'fellow man'... then i will
easily show you that it is you in the captains
chair.
you seem to think that all of humanity belongs
to this tightly-knit tapestry of existence,
which is something i disagree with. you seem to
believe that because you have 'associates' with
a foundation of time through your forum, they
should come to your aid in a time of need.
if this were true, you would not be causing so
much discrepencies on HB. you have the tendency
to drown an issue.
i, however, will defend those that i respect,
regardless if they need my help or not.
because you have consistantly given me little
slack, i have no compassion for you.
from the dawn of my posting on DT, you have
seemingly held contempt for me...
since, after all, you claimed that i 'spoke like
the others' which you quickly saddled me
as BEING the others.
after that run around, and the countless emails
attempting to CONVINCE you that i only just
happened upon your forum, you begin on me again.
the next time -- with my emails (which i won't
go into again).
from there it became a game of 'who really is
shatzy'... is she TG, a multiple of people, what?
i have had little repreive from your scorn and judgment.
i have endured your BS every time you bring it.
its rather entertaining to me, yes.
the fact of the matter is, you simply do not
deserve the stand-in.
i have supported your board with my cavalier
posts and even, at a time, added your link to my signature.
i have generated your curiosity and spawned your
(seemingly easy) prompts for appetitive reply.
i have offered countless alternatives to viewing
your blinded, programmed opinions. i have, upon
occasion, applauded your profound postings.
what more do you want?
as far as TG or SF is concerned, they are, in no
way, in comparison to you or me. because they
post here does not aggitate the situation into
some complex issue, though you seem to think it does.
i would gladly stand-in (post) for either one of
them because they have, in different ways, shown
me many areas in which they deserve respect from
me. SF alone has generated my respect in that
she has such a clear-sighted (not to mention
well written -- which necessitates well thought out)
opinion on things. not only that, but she concedes
to alternate opinions and it is clear to me that
when she is sure, she is sure. she can support
her claims. when she isn't sure, she isn't
ashamed to admit it -- nor to be open to alternate
viewpoints... allowing for the understanding of
either. this is not fickle, though by your
standards, it is.
i would gladly stand-in (post) for TG because
he is a clear example of the blinded, programmed
opinion just like you... the only difference
is, he sees that. like SF, he is willing to
listen to a fair share of an alternate opinion
prior to settling (if ever).
what TG and SF have in common, in case it isn't
all that apparent to you, is that they both
know that they don't know (on many topics).
they do not manipulate text/posts based upon
subjectivity...nor continue a thread in the
same manner.
do you not see this as also being detached from
your close-knit tapestry?
i patiently await yet another subjective,
appetitive, low-brow, non-cognitive, jousting
reply from you, alex.
you called me a criminal, and that was criminal.
from 11-08-01...
To: SHATOUSHKA <[email protected]>
From: Alex <[email protected]>
Subject: ummmmm....
Cc:
Bcc:
X-Attachments:
It's obvious I'll never know the truth.
Over a weeks time, several incidents involving posts made by coincided with events there happening with me on three other boards that made it look like you enjoyed watching me squirm at the hands of others.
A couple of the incidents were super-coincidental, a couple others were probably just coincidental.
When all are combined, they seemed to add up to something.
Perhaps you or I are a victim of circumstance.
It just makes it hard to like people on the internet when you really don't know what or who you are dealing with.
-Alex
-----------------------------------------------
You seem to keep wanting to throw as much crapp at me as possible as a mechanism to deny your own compulsive denials about lying.
what????
wtf are you going on about now???
p.s. -- i don't lie.
bite me
and btw, einstein...
to deny denying is to profess truth
"To deny denying is to possess truth." Huh?
There is a whole malestrom of inconsistencies from way back when I first met you. You had a "nemesis" who apparently was making your life a living helll .
Yet shortly after that time, you took pleasure in being a voyeur on the forum I had problems on. Sometimes your posts on this forum alluded to things going on on the other forum, so I called you on it.
Not only did you deny it, but you then flung that back at me a couple of months later.
Now, Instead of responding to any of my posts, you simply fling many derogatory statements about me.
You take things personally, then repress that emotion, and move on as if all is well.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Super8 Filmmaking in the DigitalAge:
"To deny denying is to possess truth." Huh?
There is a whole malestrom of inconsistencies from way back when I first met you. You had a "nemesis" who apparently was making your life a living helll </font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
her name was mfaizi... get it right.
she once existed as a poster on HB, and now
is a poster on ezboard. if you want a link,
just ask.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Super8 Filmmaking in the DigitalAge:
Yet shortly after that time, you took pleasure in being a voyeur on the forum I had problems on. Sometimes your posts on this forum alluded to things going on on the other forum, so I called you on it.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
the 'allusions' were entirely self-created, alex.
i never ventured into that category.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Super8 Filmmaking in the DigitalAge:
Not only did you deny it, but you then flung that back at me a couple of months later.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
i have no idea wtf you are talking about here.
prolly more neurosis talking.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Super8 Filmmaking in the DigitalAge:
Now, Instead of responding to any of my posts, you simply fling many derogatory statements about me.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
don't be so conceited.
they are only derrogatory if they were presumtuous.
everything i've said has been true.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Super8 Filmmaking in the DigitalAge:
You take things personally, then repress that emotion, and move on as if all is well.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
aaaaaaah.... i am wonderful.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by soulfilms:
surely what happened over a year ago is not relevant or important anymore???</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
A logical conclusion, but erroneous.
Shatzy, you play with the truth fast and loose.
You admited on the ADM board that you lurked on the other forum.
You so much as admitted that watching the skirmish was amusing.
ha ha.
You continue to offend by throwing around caustic words and acting like your some authority on the use of said words, now you say you never lurked there.
Your choice of words has been debauchery at best, you expect it both ways. Look elsewhere Shatzy. Look elsewhere. You behavior last year was disgusting.
Here is the timeline.
I went through some very unnecessary abuse from a forum that I had been posting on for 9 months. Upon the arrival of a couple of new posters, some conflicts arose. One of the new arrivals knew a forum regular form another forum, and both had conflicts with me that could easily been quelled if the forum had had a moderator not in absentia.
By your own recent admission on ADM, you lurked through most or at least half of that situation. I had noticed that some of your posts on this forum from around that time seemed to have an "edge" to them that related to what was going on, on that other forum.
I asked you why a couple of your posts on this forum had an "edge" that seemed to imply you knew what was going on, on the other forum, and you feigned complete ignorance.
I think you were caught in a situation where you would have to admit that you were entertained by the abuse I went through. So, you had to say you didn't know what I was talking about.
Even though you knew me back then, and were friendly to me via e-mail, you never interceded on my behalf on that forum. You were lurking back then while gladhanding me via e-mail. That is your right, just don't expect me to somehow think it's no big thing.
Do you realize that one-well placed comment from you, doing nothing more than explaining how Hostboard works, would have done much to alleviate much of the conflict that was going on on that forum? But then that would have ended you entertainment, wouldn't it.
Instead, you actually repeated a some of the innuendo from that forum on this forum. When I called you on it, and asked you why you used certain phrases that came from the other forum, you called me paranoid.
I don't do well with liars.
Especially in a situation that harmed me. You can try and make this be about why I save e-mail from back then. But what is most ridiculous is it takes more effort to delete e-mail than to save it.
No Shatzy, there is no conspiracy to save all my old e-mails, unlike you and e-mails that never arrive, my e-mail system works quite fine and I can retrieve an old e-mail.
Oh look, here is an e-mail quote where you describe exactly what happened on the forum that you now claim to have never lurked on....
"many times i have seen mods who are generally vacant from forums, posters establish the sway of the forum and (based on the issues above) have problems because of lack of moderation. eventually posters get touchy, get in fights, and suddenly the ******** moderator appears out of nowhere acting as some sort of ******* superhero. BECAUSE I HAVE THE SUPER-MODERATOR RIGHTS!!!!!!! oh please."
-Shatoushka...
Very well put, Shatouska. If you want to lurk yet not get involved, fine and good. But to then use some of the diatribes directed at me, yourself, while denying you knew what was going on, is an opportunism that I can not respect nor validate.
I won't take satisfaction from your admission that you lurked, did nothing, yet used the banter you could have helped stopped in your own posts to me. But if you fessed up, I could at least respect that you think of me as your equal, rather than some form of entertainment.
Did you lurk, see me get repeatedly harrassed, and do nothing, then bring up a couple of the ridiculous points made on the other forum, onto this forum? (I already know the answer)
You seem to think that if you admit to that, that somehow I will use that against you. No Shatzy, that appears to be your modus operandi, not mine.
since i only read the first 5 sentences of that post,
i will say this one last time... see if you can understand it --
i did not lurk on the super8 forum prior to
posting on DT...
period.
you are free to think as you like.
you can claim that i am lying, 'feigning',
retreating, or whatever you wish to think.
it no longer matters.
btw... i don't care what you think of me.
i don't care if you respect me or not.
you are entertainment and nothing more.
i'm done on this issue... this forum... period.
have a nice day.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ December 10, 2002 04:07 PM: Message edited by: shatzy ]</font>
oh yes...
just to save you the trouble, alex...
here's what i added with my edit:
btw... i don't care what you think of me.
i don't care if you respect me or not.
you are entertainment and nothing more.
repeating....
NOTHING MORE
Well Shatzy, that is the mindset of a rapist. I hope you really don't mean that.
I hope in time you can read my previous post, it really wasn't that awful. If you start off thinking of someone as mere entertainment, then later on decide perhaps you respect the person or want to get to know them better, it may be too late to undo the damage done while you thought of them as "mere entertainment".
It's a dangerous and hurtful game to play, to start off thinking of others as mere entertainment on forums that are not fantasy based. I still like a lot of things about you, so I hope you don't harbor anger at me over the long haul.
wrong again, alex... not surprising.
you made the accusation that i lurked in the
S8 forum during the time of your BS, which
isn't true at all.
after you accused me of being 'one of them'
i still never went to that forum. it was only
after several months of posting on this forum
that i ventured to the S8 forum.
now... if you would learn to keep this issue
on one forum, on one thread... you could easily
keep up with the BS you are talking about, and
my responses wouldn't confuse you so much.
buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut because you like to jump from
tangent to tangent, forum to forum, you cannot
make any connections or flow to the conversation.
as for the 'skirmish' you are referring to...
i found the recent BS between you and 'chas'
and his buddy on YOUR forum amusing. simply because
you play him the same way you play everyone,
including me.
btw... i would like to think that between you
and i, i would be more inclined to understand
'words', 'definitions', 'rhetoric', 'linguistics'
and other such 'semantics' over you.
here's an example:
'truth' to you = something objective
'truth' to me = something subjective
you have no support for that claim.
thank you and goodnight
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor=""><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Super8 Filmmaking in the DigitalAge:
A logical conclusion, but erroneous.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
well thats OBVIOUS it's incorrect...
you never let anything die out.
the question is --
what is it that alex's fears so much...
that he stockpiles day-to-day information
to use at a later date? (some say most females
do this)
shatzy has an idea...