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1. Members shall wear proper workout attire. Some people should forget about wearing spandex if their ass looks like 250 lbs. of ground beef.
2. If you're not using a piece of equipment or a machine, then don't treat it like if was your lounge chair. Get the fuck out.
3. The mirrors are here to help you keep your form. That's all. Besides, you really don't look that good.
4. There's no sex in the tanning booths. Last week, we have to call the medics on a couple who passed out during their session. They were well done.
5. Don't drop the weights and leave them lay on the floor. Rack your weights. What? You want to throw, too? Ok, watch out for incoming.
6. The spray bottles and towels are here to keep the weight benches and machines clean after your sweaty ass finishes a set. Use them.
7. Along the same note, if you come to the gym after your job on the construction site, or as a prison guard, then please take a shower first. End of the day funk, compounded by additional sweat of working out is killer pungent funk. 'nuff said.
8. If you bring your girlfriend to the gym and if she's a hottie and wearing something provocative, then expect most of the men (and a few ladies) asking to spot her or checking her out. Don't get mad and act like an asshole. You asked for it.
9. Put away the muscle shirts if you're not packing the guns.
10. Keep the chatter down. Complete your routine then get the fuck out.
The Arnold Classic in C-Bus next week, Feb. 22-24, 2202.
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Bobby42:
The Arnold Classic in C-Bus next week, Feb. 22-24, 2202.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
Great, I have time to work on my deltoids.
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Who's not packing the guns? http://www.hostboard.com/forums/
And how come there's no donut graemlin to go with the coffee?
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by east coast:
Who's not packing the guns? http://www.hostboard.com/forums/
And how come there's no donut graemlin to go with the coffee?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
And where's the cigarette graemlin so that Harsh can check in on the roll call threads?
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Bobby42:
The Arnold Classic in C-Bus next week, Feb. 22-24, 2202.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
i'll be there.
and i'm gonna have to RACK the list. all in all pretty complete. a couple i'll add:
1. if you are obviously lifting more that you should be/or can safetly done finish your 3 reps, grunt loudly and look to see if anyone gives a fuck. cause we don't.
2. if you feel compelled to yell realy loud and make insane noises when you lift, there will be duct tape allpied to your mouth.
3. if you are a hottie at the gym, it is a rule you that use the lower back extension bench. only because we like seeing you bend over.
4. under no circumstances in the locker room are you allowed to:
a. walk around talking to people naked for more than 5 seconds
b. put one leg up on the bench so you can lotion yourself with your balls right next to the person sitting beside you.
c. examine your sack
d. walk barefoot into the bathrooms (just fucking sick)
WAR JAY CUTLER
WAR LEE PRIEST
WAr POWERLIFTING
MH
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Bobby42:
The Arnold Classic in C-Bus next week, Feb. 22-24, 2202.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
You mean along with being one of the funniest men on the planet,Tom Arnold also holds a weight liftin contest too?
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Bobby42:
8. If you bring your girlfriend to the gym and if she's a hottie and wearing something provocative, then expect most of the men (and a few ladies) asking to spot her or checking her out. Don't get mad and act like an asshole. You asked for it.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
RACK!!! don't let her show the goods if you don't want me to window shop
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by MulletHunter:
i have a job and live on my own. scoreboard.
MH</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
rare exception to rule.
works for dad, house in foreclosure...
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More rules and observations:
- Why are you walking on the treadmill when it's a good day to be walking outside?
- Why do some women wear makeup at the gym? Do they have any idea what they'll look like after 20 minutes of sweating ..err perspiring?
- "Did I ask you for a spot? Homo."
- Sports bras: always optional.
- Is it really necessary to throw your 20 lbs. dumbbells to the floor after your set? What are you trying to prove?
- What's with developing your shoulders, arms and chest when your gut drops down below your waist?
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- if you use a barbell with plates and you don't use the clamps...you deserve to look like a jackass when those things slide off.
- if you spit into the water fountain i get to spit on you
- don't ever ask to use either: my weight belt, straps, or gloves (if i were to wear them). i'll punch you. why would i want you sweat and funk on my stuff?
- along bobby's spotter rule...if you can't effectively spot then don't offer to for a person benching as much as you weigh. shit doesn't work like that.
MH
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What really bugs the fuck outta me is those over zealous fucknuts that jump in to spot you when you don't need it. And proceed to cheer you on. And also if you get buried on the bench for reason of being too stuborn to ask someone for a spot, you deserve it.
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Amen to these and Rack Bobby42!
Also, Don't be a dork and wear gym shorts outside of sweat pants. You looked like a fool when you did this in high school and you look even dumber now that you are past 30 or 40.
Bill-DC
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Bobby42:
- What's with developing your shoulders, arms and chest when your gut drops down below your waist?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
RACK
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Two things I smelt tonight:
1. Do not fart when you are working out. No one wants to smell your chili or meatball sub you had for lunch. Crank out a poop or fart in the fucking locker room for goodness sakes!
2. Ladies, ease up on the damn perfume. Geez, I almost choked on the treadmill tonight when a bitch in front of me was using the stationary bike and she smelt like she came from the Perfume department at Saks Fifth Avenue.
Others:
1. Do not stare or ogle the woman with the nice body and legs when you are in mid exercise. I learned this the hard way when I almost racked my nuts staring at some hottie on the stationary bike while running on the treadmill. I lost focus and slammed into the bar. Look quick, then go back to what you were doing fast.
2. Don't talk to me when I come out of the shower and I won't talk to you when you are coming out of the shower. I want to get dry, get dressed and get the fuck out of there.
Bill-DC
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 18, 2002 10:55 PM: Message edited by: Bill-DC ]</font>
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don't give or ask advise from anyone drinking powdery shakes. they already know it and dont mind boring you to tears proving it. yet, they are likely unemployed losers living at home with parents.
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I'll add mine:
If you either talking while lifting or are doing reps that provide ventilation w/o electricity, please allow other people to use the machine/barbell first. They might want to use the machine/barbell for it's intended purpose. People who actually put effort into lifting need breath control to get through the set, so talking is out; lifting a weight that's like forty pounds under your max. ability really quickly does nothing for exercise nor impressing anyone. It's also bad form, but I don't care about scrawny people who attempt to put on pathetic shows.
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The use of weight belts is to provide support "DURING" lifting, and not covering up a pathetic beer gut.
Zubaz are just wrong. Do NOT wear them to the gym.
Lifting gloves do not make you a bad ass.
Dumb fucks who violate all three of these should die, or at least feel the bar drop on their throat.
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Pathetic Loser:
don't give or ask advise from anyone drinking powdery shakes. they already know it and dont mind boring you to tears proving it. yet, they are likely unemployed losers living at home with parents.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>
i have a job and live on my own. scoreboard.
MH
