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I have had to do something to stop me screaming any more at my daughter, please forgive me for using you all!
I have a video on which I have some stuff I've taped - Darren on Re:Covered and various other things, Blue in the airport docusoap, lots of bitty, special (to me) stuff...I need it to put something else on and it's vanished into thin air. My daughter has taken the video out of the machine, and despite being warned only TWO DAYS ago that it was special to me and she must put it in a certain place - it's not there. Not only that - it's not with any other videos either! And she doesn't remember what she did with it! It's clearly labelled, but it seems to have vanished into thin air!
I am going mad - I know I am over-reacting - probably PMS but even so.....I have to get away from her because I am scared I am going to damage her emotionally by being so over the top (haven't and wouldn't hurt her physically)....I am SO mad and SO upset and now I feel so bloody guilty for flying off the handle over something so trivial in the scheme of things.....
ANyway sorry, I just had to let fly and didn't want to do it at Joanna! *cries*
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Sue
I'm sorry hon I know how frustrating it can be at times. Its good you are taking a breather good for you and your daughter. Tomorrow you will wonder what all the fuss was about.
The tape will show up probably in the wierdest of spots.
Deep breaths
Hugs
Lain
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[img]graemlins/hug.gif[/img]
I'm sure your tape will show up.. and don't beat yourself up over getting mad it was something important to you.. once things calm down go out and talk to here I'm sure she'll understand. [img]graemlins/hug.gif[/img] agains
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Your not a monster your human like Krissy said don't beat yourself up.
Your daughter knows you love her. If she misplaced it she might remember later where it is.
Tomorrow tell her it would make you really happy if she could remember where it might be. (Kids love to make there parents happy)
Huge Hugs
Lain
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Thanks guys...I just really hate myself atm. I know it's my hormones but I really am such a total bitch when I get like that....I can hear myself screaming horrible things but it's like someone else is doing it and I am listening. [img]frown.gif[/img]
Anyway I apologised to Joanna for being so mean and gave her a big hug, told her how much I love her etc. I just know that an outburst like that will scar her for life....I was ranting on at her b4 and at one point she said she was going to kill herself. She's only just 6. What am I doing to her?
A fitting end to a really crappy day, one way or another!
Thanks for listening, sorry if I've upset anyone.
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I just know that an outburst like that will scar her for life.
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Sue, I seriously doubt that it will, hon [img]smile.gif[/img] from what I can make out, you're a good mother [img]smile.gif[/img]
*feels bad about going on at you for not replying to an e-mail of mine now*
Michelle
xx
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Sue
Keep reminding her you love her just the way she is.
Let her know you love her more than the tape she might be confused about it.
Hugs Hugs
Lain
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Don't worry Michelle, you didn't go on at me - you actually made me smile cos of the way you did it!
The trouble re Joanna (and Luke) is that this happens every few weeks and I do worry about it in my saner moments! Luckily I don't get violent against them, but I do throw stuff around and it must be so scary for a little one. *cries* I really feel so terrible....
Anyway I must stop feeling sorry for myself cos it's not going to change anything!
lalalalalala *is all sweetness and light*
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Yeah Lain - she's asleep now but I will reassure her again in the morning. Thanks.
And it's her birthday party later today too! Great start to the day that was eh?
(It was her birthday 4 weeks ago actually but we were on holiday!)
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Sue I actually so relate to you!
When I had my first daughter I couldn't control my hormones at all. They were like wild and I would throw things too. At my husband.(lucky for me I had bad aim, and he is a very calm and understanding person)
But my anger would just explode. Usually I am a very calm and happy person but it was like Jeckle and Hyde. Boom all of a sudden I didn't know what would hit me.
Have you ever spoke to your Dr. about it there are ways they can help with your PMS.
Hugs Sue
Your not alone
I am sure all mothers will have a story or two like this.
Lain
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My doctor! Ha! This would be the one who I went to (when my husband cheated on me just after my dad died) cos I was feeling suicidal - and he looked at me all amazed and said "but you're a MOTHER!" Like making me feel even more guilty was really gonna help, right?!
I can't take any of the medication they usually prescribe to help with these symptoms unfortunately, because of other medical issues and treatments. I have asked. I might see if I can go back on the vitamin B6 (I think that's the one but I really am half asleep, it's been a long day!) - but it never seemed to make a difference b4! Sadly it was the only thing they could try...
I am not usually this bad actually - I do get annoyed for no reason but I don't completely lose it. I think it's a combination of PMS and being exhausted and having a stressful day (last 2 directly linked!) that has made it worse.
Thanks for the support and suggestions folks, much appreciated. I don't post "vent" threads often, but I really needed to tonight!
Oops, off on another ramble, sorry!
(((hugs everyone)))
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ September 28, 2002 08:43 PM: Message edited by: salomeuk ]</font>
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I don't know how hard it is to get new Dr. in the UK but it sounds like you need a more understanding physicain.
Or a physician that can point you in the right direction to find some help when you need it.
Hugs
*I wish I could give you a real hug*
Lain
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Actually, I think I intimidate the doctor because he knows I know what I am talking about most of the time....being a registered nurse and then working in a pharmacy (and doing training to dispense medication and advise customers), I probably know as much if not more about some aspects of his job than he does! LOL! He is the only one within walking distance - and as long as I go in and tell him what I think needs doing he's ok. Just not big on the sympathy front!
(going off at a tangent now!) Unlike my old GP whose failure to spot my sister's Crohn's Disease a few years back almost cost my sis her life. [img]frown.gif[/img]
Still at least it's an "almost" story, eh?
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Sue, maybe change your GP to one in another practice? I did when my GP misdiagnosed an illness my daughter had and his attitude left a lot to be desired. Sorry you're having such a rough time with all this hun [img]frown.gif[/img] I think most of us have had times when we feel and act irrationally towards our kids (and partners) sometimes. Hope you feel a bit better today. Sends you a big [img]graemlins/hug.gif[/img] and a [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] to make you feel better.
Janie xx
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Sue [img]smile.gif[/img]
Have you ever thought of taking St John's Wort? [img]smile.gif[/img]
Michelle
xx
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Hi folks!
Yeah Michelle I have thought about St John's Wort - but it's contra-indicated in my case cos of other health problems (can't remember which one now, lol!)
I have wondered about switching GP - but to be honest this is the best one I have ever had, despite his lack of empathy - and is also the only one within walking distance. As I have to go at least twice every 8 weeks to get repeat prescriptions (even if no one is ever ill), I can do with him being close by. So I think I will stay put, for now at least.
I am much calmer now anyway, thankfully.
Oh yeah - update, lol! This morning I told Joanna I love her much more than a video but also mentioned that if she could remember where it was, it would make me very happy. (See - I do take advice sometimes!!!)
So about 2 hours later she found it - at the bottom of one of her toyboxes!!!! Pure luck she stumbled across it, of course. She told me she'd suddenly remembered where it was, bless! Anyway I was pleased and told her as much and so she was feeling very proud of herself after that!
Also she had a couple of friends round for a mini-birthday-party in the afternoon (was meant to be 3 but one was double-booked!). That went very well too and I had a very happy little girl.
[img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Thanks for all your support - including emails (you know who you are!)
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I am happy you an your daughter had a brighter day today. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Hugs to you Sue
Lain
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OMG Sue that is so scary, you've just described me a week ago while basking in hormonal hell
[img]frown.gif[/img]
I'm pleased your tape turned up!
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Sue, I'm glad you're feeling better today and that your tape resurfaced [img]smile.gif[/img] *knows the feeling only too well* I was feeling murderous this morning [img]wink.gif[/img]
Janie xx
