How to catch a liar

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October 19th, 2003, 06:45 PM
Laurina

Hypothetically speaking of course, what would you do if your gut told you that a story someone was telling was a lie; and you feel that way because there are serious inconsistencies in this story and things that just don't make logical sense. And although you have said to this person you don't believe them, she sticks by her story. And although you know facts that make her story even less legitimate, she still says it is true.

The biggest problem is that this story is hurting others you care about and you really want to somehow prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is indeed a lie or a HUGE exaggeration. But, in order to do that there is really only one person who could prove it is not true.... and let's say hypothetically that person is Leonie.

What would you do? If anything.
October 19th, 2003, 07:44 PM
Hannah_Lou

I have no idea Laurie, i have been in situation like this before but i had no evidence (apart from the fact i knew so it was only my word) that she was lying to everyone. It was tough and nobody believed me cos i had no evidence, but it got sorted cos somebody else had evidence

Hope it gets sorted soo though Laurie

*hugs*

[img]smile.gif[/img]
October 19th, 2003, 08:54 PM
*SPINNER*

Quote:

Originally posted by Laurina:
Hypothetically speaking of course, what would you do if your gut told you that a story someone was telling was a lie; and you feel that way because there are serious inconsistencies in this story and things that just don't make logical sense. And although you have said to this person you don't believe them, she sticks by her story. And although you know facts that make her story even less legitimate, she still says it is true.

The biggest problem is that this story is hurting others you care about and you really want to somehow prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is indeed a lie or a HUGE exaggeration. But, in order to do that there is really only one person who could prove it is not true.... and let's say hypothetically that person is Leonie.

What would you do? If anything.

That would depend on the lie and WHO it involved.
Normally I would be satisfied that I know (whatever it may be) to be a lie, and be chuckling to myself. But when it involves others, and it's hurting them, I'd prolly expose them. Having said that though...it would also depend on how exposing would effect the other person, the one the lie is about.
Make damn SURE it's a lie though.
Hypothetically of course......

Hope that made sense...it's early here
October 20th, 2003, 12:18 AM
Laurina

Quote:

That would depend on the lie and WHO it involved.
Normally I would be satisfied that I know (whatever it may be) to be a lie, and be chuckling to myself. But when it involves others, and it's hurting them, I'd prolly expose them. Having said that though...it would also depend on how exposing would effect the other person, the one the lie is about.
Make damn SURE it's a lie though.
Hypothetically of course......

Hope that made sense...it's early here[/QB]

It makes complete sense Spinner. Thank you. And thank you Hannah [img]smile.gif[/img]

Under most circumstances, I would typically let a situation like this go, laugh at it and trust my gut feeling. But, when it effects others, and effects them deeply, my emotions get the best of me because I don't like others feeling hurt.. betrayed... and used.

[ October 19, 2003 09:21 PM: Message edited by: Laurina ]
October 20th, 2003, 12:49 AM
sunhawk

it is indeed hard to stop that kind of thing unless you could somehow make it widely enough know that it WAS a lie because then why would the person bother to continue? *wry chuckle* I know how frustrating that kind of situation can be, especially when it becomes a "you said/they said" situation *comfs*
October 20th, 2003, 01:09 AM
BarbT

Gosh Laurie that is a difficult one. I always try to hang onto the hope that ppl who do this will eventually come unstuck with their web of lies! Until then I guess all you can do is try to reassure those being hurt that the story does not add up. I wonder also what the intent is of the storyteller?
October 20th, 2003, 01:16 AM
*SPINNER*

Quote:

Originally posted by Laurina:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />That would depend on the lie and WHO it involved.
Normally I would be satisfied that I know (whatever it may be) to be a lie, and be chuckling to myself. But when it involves others, and it's hurting them, I'd prolly expose them. Having said that though...it would also depend on how exposing would effect the other person, the one the lie is about.
Make damn SURE it's a lie though.
Hypothetically of course......

Hope that made sense...it's early here

It makes complete sense Spinner. Thank you. And thank you Hannah [img]smile.gif[/img]

Under most circumstances, I would typically let a situation like this go, laugh at it and trust my gut feeling. But, when it effects others, and effects them deeply, my emotions get the best of me because I don't like others feeling hurt.. betrayed... and used.

[ October 19, 2003 09:21 PM: Message edited by: Laurina ][/QB]<hr /></blockquote>Then I say expose them. Set the situation right and stop those that are being hurt, hurting.

I agree with you too Barb. I like to think eventually these types (for want of a better word) do themselves in. One way or another they get caught out.....or I like to think so lol
October 20th, 2003, 09:37 AM
SHATOUSHKA

i'm on an SOS posting spree... forgive!!!!

but i agree with the last statement....

the truth will ALWAYS be found out
October 20th, 2003, 10:24 AM
Juliet10

I like to think eventually these types (for want of a better word) do themselves in. One way or another they get caught out.....or I like to think so lol
****************

Yep, but there is one person I can think of that is the exception to that rule.

Michelle

xx
October 20th, 2003, 10:36 AM
Kattitude

gee hypothetically Id love to know the story behind all this

but yeah I would say everytime this person speaks this lie you must make it known you dont support or believe it. You cant be part of perpetuating the lie. I would like to see these people found out.. but too often than not they get to positions of power.

do what you think is right!!

Kat
October 20th, 2003, 10:37 AM
Twizzle

*agrees with Spinner*

The truth is out there. [img]wink.gif[/img]
October 20th, 2003, 10:42 AM
vegemite

Quote:

Originally posted by Kattitude:
gee hypothetically Id love to know the story behind all this

LOL Ditto [img]tongue.gif[/img]

And I agree with Spinner [img]smile.gif[/img]
October 20th, 2003, 10:47 AM
DarrensPassion

I agree with all of you above. Each and every time this lie gets told, the truth gets more and more distorted and the lie gets bigger and bigger. Give them time and enough rope and eventually they will get caught out.

Janie xx
October 20th, 2003, 04:32 PM
Hannah_Lou

Yup the truth is out there like Terry said [img]wink.gif[/img]

Sometimes, once the lie gets told and gets spread it turns out like chinese whispers so next time you hear it you make not recognise it

[img]smile.gif[/img]
October 20th, 2003, 08:59 PM
woodstock_shultz

I agree with what other ppl have said about letting this person have just enough rope to hang themselves with...I also agree that you need to try and make it known, as best you can, that you don't support what this person is saying. I think that part is especially important, given that people you know are being harmed by what is going on.

I'm sort of unclear part of it...is "Leonie" the person who is telling the lies, or the person who can provide the "evidence"? Just wondering...maybe you can make this person an ally of sorts?
October 21st, 2003, 09:29 PM
-Nic-

Laurie,
in cases like these... I usually ask the person concerned outright what their take on the story is. Quote them certain parts of the other version of the story.
That way they might even remember little details they have originally forgotten and that way it all tends to fall into place and the liar can be proven wrong.
It's usually the little things that are the most important.
October 22nd, 2003, 02:46 AM
Dyan

I don't think you can prove or expose the lie. Lies seem to take on a life of their own, and people will always believe what they want to believe. Howerver, there is something that you can do.

Approach the person (or people) being hurt by the lie and let them know that you realize that there is more to the situation than meets the eye. Let them know that you haven't judged them or bought into the lie.
October 22nd, 2003, 04:47 AM
-Nic-

Quote:

Originally posted by Dyan:
I don't think you can prove or expose the lie. Lies seem to take on a life of their own, and people will always believe what they want to believe.

You're right, you can't stop the lies from spreading.
I just think that making the person who started it all understand that they are wrong is worth a shot.
Maybe not.
What do I know?

Quote:

Howerver, there is something that you can do.
Approach the person (or people) being hurt by the lie and let them know that you realize that there is more to the situation than meets the eye. Let them know that you haven't judged them or bought into the lie.

Yep, great advise!
The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to read rumours about them and have everyone ignore that.

When you're being attacked, you believe that everyone who doesn't tell you they are on your side ... is not.
October 22nd, 2003, 06:47 PM
Laurina

Quote:

You're right, you can't stop the lies from spreading.
I just think that making the person who started it all understand that they are wrong is worth a shot.
Maybe not.
What do I know?

I agree Nic. Because honestly, the further into the lie she goes, the further away from the knowledge she is effecting people gets.
October 23rd, 2003, 11:01 AM
DarrensSavageAngel

What would you do? If anything.[/QB][/QUOTE]

Well Laurie, I just went through that. Eventually all the lies do catch up with them and of course after that when everyone finds out they have no friends.

I'm one for giving the three strikes you are out deal. The friend who lied to me has just used up her last strike and unfortunatly most of them never learn from that. They just go on lying to people til it hits them back in the face.

I think that it takes something very serious for the person to stop kind of like a good slap in the face and they get seriously hurt then maybe they will stop don't really know as my friend has still to this day not stopped lying.

Lisaxxx

ps. Good Luck