A Rule of Common Courtesy

It's become obvious what damage a single thoughtless comment can do to a community. It can cause people to take sides and it becomes divisive. It can cause members to leave, because of one misguided post.

We started this community in part to get away from those types of posts. Let's make this very simple. This is a place to have fun. Up until now, that has worked with almost no moderation, which speaks to the maturity of the membership of this community.

That being said, I feel that I have to say in writing that the attack on any board member by another on the public pages of this forum will not be tolerated and will be dealt with in the terms of most Human Resources departments:

"With action up to and including termination."

If you can't get along with your fellow board members, maybe this isn't the right board for you.

We'll all have our bad days, but a very wise mod from the old board taught me one simple thing: Think before you type. What you type to one person may affect the community as a whole.

Amen....

Ooooooh! What did I miss?!?!!?!?!?!

Even among mature boarders like us (*snort* did I say that with a straight face?) some of us may not get along. If you can't debate in a civil acceptable way...take it off the board or be taken off the board.


[img]eek.gif[/img] Good god...I sound like a mod! Quick somebody ban me!

SCREW YOU GUYS!!! [img]mad.gif[/img]

my thing is if you don't like what someone says don't post and start shit between everyone we are all adults here [img]wink.gif[/img] i think [img]tongue.gif[/img]

*rebels*

[img]wink.gif[/img]

I know i should really bring it up or anything and I don't wanna sound like I'm taking sides but I just wanna say to Lee that I really didn't like the way she handled EQ's comment. The whole 'cock' thing was really immature and I thought you could handle things better then that. Just my $0.02

Quote:

---

Originally posted by STD:
..... I just wanna say to Lee that I really didn't like the way she handled EQ's comment. The whole 'cock' thing was really immature and I thought you could handle things better then that. Just my $0.02

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ditto. The response was vulgar, way over the line, and out of all proportion to the original post by EQ (which even if arguably not tactful, was factual - the thread title is misleading).

Its impossible for all of ous to get along , but we must make our best, and if u cant stand someone then just dont post in there threads if u dont have something nice to say. Everything comes down to somethign we all should have "Common sense"

Our Swedish friend is right... [img]cool.gif[/img]

Venting will be allowed in this post. As long as we get it out in here only, it's good for the soul.

Just remember to be mature and read what you write before posting. The 'review post' feature helps immeasurably in the heat of the moment.

Since it's allowed...

If you have beef with anyone, don't bring it to the boards...there is PM and email and IM and whatever method of communication other than a messageboard...obviously if you can't do that even, something's gonna break loose, and people get involved whether it concerns them or not...

I'm a firm believer in 'Don't start shit', so whatever the situation is, if you light the fuse of a dynamite, don't expect it to not explode...

I dislike people who do this with the intent to cause problems...that's even worse, and not to admit to it or to walk away nonchalantly as if nothing was wrong, only to do it again....that is fucked up...

I also dislike anyone attacking innocent people...there's a difference in calling someone out if they have personally and intentionally aggrivated or offended you in some way, but when a person has done nothing, he or she is not at fault...

I don't condone continuing fights if you have the option to stop it...but let's face it, some people just need to be told...some tiptoe around it, some are direct...then again, we don't need to even be at this stage if shit does not get started...

Ignoring a person can be easy for people, but only depending on how long a person's tolerance is...I don't hate people who react to everything, just like I don't to people who have really tough skin...the fact that the matter is, don't test people...if you do, I hate you...(well, maybe not [img]wink.gif[/img] )

Thats really all I have to say...this all applies to me too...

If this is what I think it is about (Legeeta and EQ), all I noticed was that every time Legeeta made a post about anything, EQ would rip her apart.

That's harassment, and no way to be treated.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cheshire Cat:
I also dislike anyone attacking innocent people...there's a difference in calling someone out if they have personally and intentionally aggrivated or offended you in some way, but when a person has done nothing, he or she is not at fault...

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's a little too black and white in my opinion. The world is much more gray than that. "Innocence" is in the eye of the beholder, and what one sees as an "attack" another may see as merely expressing an opinion. I think everyone's personal experiences and maturity level (which is not necessarily tied to age) temper how they interpret what they read.

And even should a situation present itself where one feels "justified" in responding to something they perceive to be an attack, there's still a "right" way and a "wrong" way to do it (which is also in the eye of the beholder, of course). I'm not implying that a person is not entitled to defend themself if they feel it necessary, but that doesn't mean "anything goes" or that pejoratives and vulgarity are ever acceptable, in my opinion. There are such concepts as restraint and proportionality of response.

Personally, I have expressed opinions on this board about the content of posts, but I would never presume to be so bold as to judge someone "innocent" or "guilty". I also think it's very bold for anyone to think they can say someone has "done nothing wrong" unless they've lived every moment that person has, know every post they've made, know every email or PM they've sent, and know what's in their heart.

We should all (yes, including me) remember that there are at least 2 sides to every story.

I hate each and every one of you.
almost as much as I hate beer. [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]

I know not to boldly label anyone as innocent or guilty, but when I put myself in that specific incident, I had a very good idea what was at hand...and I know for a fact that the person I was defending did absolutely nothing intentional to warrant 3 different attacks from the same person...that was what triggered me...

I'll elaborate it more another way...

fuck you all... in the goat ass [img]smile.gif[/img]

Quote:

---

Originally posted by The Cheshire Cat:
I'll elaborate it more another way...

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am speaking in generalities, extrapolating from the incidents that appear to have boiled over into the need for this sticky thread, and am merely expressing my opinion as to a general manner of conduct and way of approaching the board.

As I have already said, there are always at least 2 sides to every story, and no one here who already has an opinion about any specific incidents is going to have their mind changed by debating the matter.

Therefore, I need no further elaboration about specific incidents, and I have no desire to, nor will I, debate specific incidents.

You're right....in a general sense that's how it should be done...but I don't recall any other problems other than the one you and I and everyone else is thinking of that brought this thread on...and I still stand by my principle - Don't start shit to begin with...especially when you know the other person uses that type of language and the content of an angry post results in a lotta swearing and cussing...

It's easy to point out the content of a post someone uses but you and I are arguing two different points...because you attack the cussing, and I'm getting to the source of the problem...I mean, other than what you quoted, I take it you agree with my own generalities too?

About "not starting shit" in general? Yes, of course.

BUT, I don't think "the cussing" can just be dismissed or condoned. I firmly stand by my belief that even if one thinks they have been provoked there are lines that it is just not acceptable to cross in making one's response. Everyone is personally responsible and answerable for the content of their posts, whether or not it is "in response" to something. "I was provoked" is not a green light to pejoratives and profanity in my opinion.

As I have mentioned, I believe in the concepts of restraint and proportionality of response, not to mention the old adage of "taking the high road".

It is not necessarily what someone says, but how they say it that often makes all the difference in the world.

[rodney king] "Can't we we all just get along?" [/rodney king]*

* The above post was meant as a light hearted joke to lessen the tension. It was in no way meant to piss ANYONE off! (....and if it does, to bad. [img]tongue.gif[/img] )

everyone should try and be more patient and respectfull with each other. there's ususally nothing that cant be worked out. just need to give it a shot. hopefully all the hard feelings can be worked out and we can get back to being what we came here for. I say lets not take sides if we can avoid it and drop it and go on.

Please everyone do try to get along.

I spent two hours at work today getting through all the emails and PMs today about it all. I hate having to work late [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]

Quote:

---

Originally posted by -megalithanod:
Please everyone do try to get along.

I spent two hours at work today getting through all the emails and PMs today about it all. I hate having to work late [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">This is why I'm glad to have other mods. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

*bombards mods with PMs and emails...*

[img]wink.gif[/img]

Nah, I'm good....

I never check the email in my profile, so it's all good.

I am just too nice and always make sure I check my e-mail and PM info. [img]redface.gif[/img]

Chalk it up to my anality of being in the QA profession!

.......*cricket chirps*

You've won this round....but I'll be back! Mark my words! [img]wink.gif[/img]

<font color="#cd6600" size="1">[ June 08, 2004 11:55 PM: Message edited by: The Cheshire Cat ]</font>

Quote:

---

Originally posted by -megalithanod:
I am just too nice and always make sure I check my e-mail and PM info. [img]redface.gif[/img]

Chalk it up to my anality of being in the QA profession!

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Leaders make difficult choices....... then leave the details to others. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Meg, this board wouldn't be what it is without your attention to those details. And we all owe you thanks for that.

http://www.septicdesign.com/vent.jpg

http://www.usa-fotos.de/FOTOS/yellow...owstone998.jpg

<font size="12">VENT THIS!</font>

I don't disagree that no one should be allowed to "start shit" (as it has been put), but I also feel strongly that everyone must be held accountable for the content of their posts, no matter what they are posting in response to. Provocation is not an excuse for behavior or language that is crude and unacceptable. Nor is young age/immaturity. If someone is too immature to be able to control themselves and post in an adult and civilized manner then perhaps they do not belong on this board (and yes, that includes the "starter").

I agree with whoever mentioned taking the high road. Just because someone may get immature or "stupid" with you doesn't mean you have to act immature or stupid in response. Take it to PM, tell a Mod, or if you just have to respond, rise above it and be mature in the way you respond. Don't stoop to their level. If you handle it in an adult and civil manner it will only make the "shit starter" look even worse.

From my point of view Deuce2, whether it is the instigator or the retaliator - they will be treated the same.

As sculpey has stated, you get warned the first time, and the second time you roll the dice.

There is an ignore function on this board that will prevent you from seeing a person's posts if you so choose. It will also block any PMs from them. If you have a problem with a person that you can't work through off the main board, then think strong on using this function.

After yesterday, I am more than prepared to take action against anyone that personally attacks or insults another. So if you feel like insulting someone, you better think hard! If it is meant in fun, make sure you know the other person and use enough winkies and other assorted emoticons to convey that feeling. Personally I won't be fooling around with it. I spent far too much time dealing with it yesterday to even consider worrying about it in the future.

I like everyone here, and although some may not get along for whatever reasons (present and past situations considered), I don't want that bringing an feeling of animosity to the community as a whole.

*returns soapbox to corner for next person*

Boy did I miss some kinda shitstorm.

All I know is I came here to get AWAY from the meanspirited posts as found on the other board.

Every once in a while the board needs a good spanking.

We have been very fortunate that we all get along for the most part. Although I can't stand Peeker, Sculpey & Overtkill, (the "Unholy Three" in my book!) I've managed to stay civil with them. [img]wink.gif[/img]


This too shall pass.

yeah, that Sculpey guy's a real prick...

[img]wink.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]

and that Peeker character...don't get me started...

Quote:

---

Andyman: "[Nostromo, say something profound for everyone back on the message board.]"
Nostromo: "I hate you all."
Andyman: "That'll do it."
Nostromo: "Gallileo..."

---

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[img]redface.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]

goddamn...i take a 4 day vacation and the place goes to shit! SEE! I AM THE GLUE THAT HOLDS THE WORLD TOGETHER!!!!