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<center>http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d1...testragedy.jpg
Mother was long lost gone to the wind.
Father had other things on his mind.
Brother had been busy with his law studies.
Oh, if only they could see Vivica now.
She wasn't the little girl they had left behind.</center>
<font color="#ffffff" size="1">[ November 06, 2008 05:26 AM: Message edited by: white lines do not lie ]</font>
You're coming home to stay for a while. Wouldn't that be nice ..
history haunted the young woman. every corner, it lurked as it watched with its bright eyes. almost like waiting for a message to be sent to her synapses, it wouldn't happen. it was like waiting for her family to come back home, and forget all the past. then again, who can ever forget the fact that her family wasn't exactly normal. her mother was one of those monster things. father, she hadn't heard from him in years. and the brother? who the fuck knew where he was at the time, but at least he wasn't there. he'd kill vivica for what she was doing at the moment.
her eyes blinked slightly, as her hands -shaky; continued to write up her slip. it would be the only way that she could go home. her tired features came towards the older woman behind the counter, as she would only twitch her nose at the smile. the woman smelled like old shoe, and it bothered vivica deeply, but she only shook her head. hands grabbed her bags, and walked out of the strip club.
ever since her hospital visit two years earlier, she couldn't do the dancing that she wanted to do. she missed the stage, and the shoes. she missed the soft music, mostly the classical piano while she'd twirl around in her own studio. she missed that as almost as she missed her own little family on the side. it seemed like everyone left her behind, but by choice. all but hectae, the stray black cat that had followed her home one night last year, and never left since. sometimes, vivica almost felt as if the black cat was eyes for her family, just to make sure she was still alive considering she seemed to be the only human out of the bunch. how did she end up with the fucked up genes?
Damien,
Mom's gone. She is just gone. I have no idea where she went, and I'm a bit worried. I know that I shouldn't be -- but I think she's angry at the both of us for what I have become. I'm not like her in anyway, and neither are you. We're not bad like her, we're good like our Father.
I just have a feeling that she's going to go hurt someone else like she did our Father, but worst. Actually keep them dead, and not bring them back.
I swear, Damien. I hate Nightmares.
Your sister,
Vivica-Anne.
She was a tragedy for the masses. A Juliet without her Romeo. An actor who lost their beloved in the first scene -- and forever more alone in the world of romance and cupid's kiss. Vivica-Anne wore a mask of happiness; the moonlight shined in her hair while the angels danced in her eyes.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm gone for a week and shit comes undone. Blue is fucking depressed because of his wife being killed. And my brother is the biggest dipshit of them all.
Someone wants him dead. Yeah, that's cool and all -- but he dragged me into it. So now, I'm .. you know. Guilty be association.
I fucking hate you, Damien.
.. He was dead.
Damien was dead.
Vivica-Anne repeated those words in her head as she listened to metal from the plugs in her ears. She had to block out the voices in her head -- the cruel voices that picked and peeled away her inner core. That peeled away and ate at the entire picture. Her screams had not been heard and her tears had not been seen. It hadn't hit that hard just yet -- but tears did rim within her sockets.
Stay at the Club -- It's the safest place.
It wasn't safe -- Nothing was safe anymore ( even for someone like her ). Everything had a price and everything had an expiration date -- All but her Mother. In which, those Italian and Russian vocal cords sounded together, calling out in desperate need for family. Daddy. Mommy.
Where were you when Damien needed you.
Screaming while peeling back the skin of a man whom she hadn't known for more then a minute. Screaming while her fingers were caked with blood and colored that ever vibrate red. Screaming when the hunger drove her to kill. Screaming when her voices told her that there was nothing she could do to bring back her Brother. Her hands moved inside the stomach as she ripped it open with force, streaming the insides to splatter against the walls. It was agony to think that she'd never be able to hug her brother again. It was a stake piercing her right through that bleeding heart of hers when she glanced towards the right to see the family picture. It was teasing her senses to rip apart the world and dive head first into the pits of Hell just to yank Damien back to the real -- the living world.
Let's play a game.
At that moment, Vivica couldn't care about anyone else. She couldn't think straight as she tore the lining from the corpse beneath her -- the lining of the stomach which contained that poisonous venom that sometimes caused her to wake up thinking her throat was on fire. That was thrown to the walls as well as she just screamed in anger.
Anger was the one thing that Vivica-Anne had in common with her Mother.
Anger was the one thing that was fueling the bloody mess that was now coming to reality.
Anger was one of the easiest emotions to feel.
And also, the most dangerous.
The night was still fresh in her mind. She remembered exactly how she felt when she got home that night. She remembers that it was exactly seventeen steps to get to the front door. She even remembers the key being a lime green ( it was due to the fact that she always got her keys mixed up. ) She remembered the letter she had in her hands -- and the newspaper she picked up from the driveway. She remembers the last thought that she had before walking into the Hell hole : I have my family to myself tonight.
Though, that never happened.
Memory lane always caused her to replay the images of the dead children. The image of finding her Husband shot in the back twice -- her little boy strangled and her youngest daughter drowned. Memory lane always pushes the effect of it all back into her head -- and always the humanistic emotions that came with it.
She remembers that night perfectly. She remembered falling to her knees, picking up her dead husbands head and raking his hair. She remembers draining the bath tub to pick up her baby girl from the death waters. She remembers holding all three of them until she heard the officers voice. She remembers the officer -- and she remembers what he had done to her years down the line.
And now.
She had her brother living again -- due to her blood. She had a man who loved her -- but she couldn't see it. She had a father and mother who loved each other -- but both denying the allegations. She had a future sister-in-law who was pregnant. .... Everything that she could want she had.
.. But the one thing that she wanted the most was lost to the criminal codes. To the murderer who took them from her -- the one who played with her head in court, and the one who she watched fry. To the murdered daughters and sons who are always remembered -- and to the murdered husbands who can never really get away. They're always lingering close and whispering in your ear. They're always touching your skin and moving to touch the most intimate of places. They're always watching you when you're talking to other people -- most of all; they're guiding you on how to move on.
You taste like raspberries.
For the first time in a long time, Vivica-Anne seemed comfortable in another mans arms. It was the healing process but it was also the process of moving on with her life. Even within the filth-stained club, which held as many memories as Vivica's heart did, Vivica-Anne felt safe within those arms that she had found herself in. Beyond the kisses and the soft words -- she smiled.
Drifting away within those memories, Vivica found serenity. She found peace and hope. She listened to children's laughter and saw them running around. She saw twinkling of eyes and felt poking. Colors of a kaleidoscope spectrum dazed above her as she listened to the breathing from the man. She felt truth more so then lies. Felt the heartbeat of the man thump in his chest -- and rumble in her ears as she held her breath to listen.
It was time for the youngest of the Berlin/Caetani to finally be wrapped in happiness. To belong to someone other than her family. It was time for her to spread those wings -- and fly. Though, if she had been paying attention to her own needs then to her emotions; she would've caught the glimpse of something catching her eye.
No, don't take me away. I am happy where I am.