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Teacher Arrested in New York New York, NY
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said
he
"believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement."
He did not identify the man, who was charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use code names like x and y and refer to
themselves as unknowns but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the
axis of medieval coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to day, There are three sides to every
triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us
more
fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
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Very funny piece.
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