Anti V-Day

[2CUTE]

The color red (pink)!: Okay, this one doesn't take a lot of brain power to understand. Hearts are a symbol of love, hearts are red, everything having to do with Valentines Day has red in it, red = love, blah, blah, blah. What people seem to forget is that brain surgery is red too. So is a drive-by shooting. Actually, I think the crimson red motif of a massacre is much more appealing than a stinking "Will You Be Mine?" card.


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1. The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach...from the front. From the rear, it is the gap between the fifth and sixth ribs. Be careful not to get your blade caught in the cartilage...

2. Firebomb all the card shops you can find. The greeting card industry created this "happy day" and the most effective way of ridding ourselves of it is to destroy it at the source. Greeting card shops sell primarily paper goods, and will burn quite efficiently.

3. Gather a large amount of sympathetic malcontents together and declare February 14 as a Day of Hate. Ridicule those who are less fortunate than you, refuel old ethnic hatred while encouraging the hate that already exists, explode an advertising binge of misanthropy. Be sure to be extremely vocal so as to get the attention of the media. Break lots of things with reckless abandon. Carry placards with catchy hateful slogans, such as "Hate Is Great", "Have You Exploited Someone Today?" and "Fuck Love". Hit the malls and be sure to torch all the greeting card shops (see (2)). This will have the positive side effect of destroying the malls where today's vacuous youth, extremely vulnerable to advertising, run rampant like a bad case of hives.

4. Upon coming in contact with aforementioned amourous starry-eyed couples, proceed to exclaim loudly to either one, "Why didn't you call me! You told me our passionate night together was only the beginning?! Who the hell is *this* cretin? Don't you know that s/he could never love you like I can?! You're coming with *me*!" Etc., ad nauseum. Be very animated, and feel free to physically get in between these two clueless sots. To be especially effective, do your research ahead of time and seek out certian couples. Learn their names, their habits and lifestyles, and capitalize on this. By ruining their holiday of love together, you will be adding them to the ranks of bitter V.D. malcontents.


*G* mmmkay...I'm feeling better now

[Tay]

*LMAO @#4....I've done something like that once from a dare..*focl...the good ole days