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Thread: Oh Christmas Tree!

  1. #1
    Inactive Member AnitaS's Avatar
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    #2 did the "Lizzy Borden" on the tree today. It's now standing in the [well, what other folks might use as a dining room].

    I think I realized today that there's NOTHING "normal" about my family.

    Lawnmower Dave drove us to the tree farm, getting lost himself [and *I* was supposed to follow his instructions?]

    We FINALLY got there and Gary [the guy who runs the place and sells firewood, wood chips, and fireworks] told us that all the "good" trees were already gone and that the mud was pretty high out there [looking at my Birkenstocks.] I told him we were game anyway. This IS Texas. It was sunny today, and even 7 straight days of rain dry out once the sun starts to shine.

    $25.00 for a tree under 8'. The three of us went off with Dave's bow-saw. ALL the trees looked nice to ME, but Dave's apparently a shopper and wanted to explore deeper. He found several trees that HE liked, and commented on a tree that he said nobody would EVER buy because it had branched into TWO. #2 and I followed Dave around for a LONG time before #2 said, "I think this one has a LOT of personality. Afterall, this was the year of the downfall of the Twin Towers." She didn't just point to the tree that Dave had said no one would buy. She took the saw out of his hand and went to work.

    Well, Dave was disappointed, but he helped us even off the bottom, balance the tree in the stand, cut off the little branches at the bottom, etc. His only comment was, "Well, it's not the one *I* would have bought."

    So now we have the "twin towers" tree in the room, water and a few aspirin in the "holder". We're too tired from the day's events to start trimming it.

    #1 claims that she's sick today. She went to work, but can't rise to the occasion to bring over a mouse to lure Ekans out of the couch. To the poster that asked why *I* don't buy the mouse, it's because he's not MY responsibility. If #1 wants to be lazy today, I can wait until she's NOT feeling lazy and stands up and takes responsibility for her own.



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  2. #2
    Inactive Member DigitalAngel's Avatar
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    I gotta ask.

    Did Dave know there was a 4' boa loose?

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  3. #3
    Inactive Member AnitaS's Avatar
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    Of course Dave knew about the snake. It was one of the topics of conversation on the drive to the tree farm. Dave's quite a conversationalist. There wasn't a silent moment on the drive there, OR the drive back. I felt like I should have at least given him money for gas, but I suspect he wouldn't have accepted it. He had a good time talking to people [He's retired, but his wife still works], and doing something he's never done before.

    He related a scary story about burning a tree in his fireplace after Christmas one year. He said it was like igniting gasoline. The flames shot out beyond the screen and scared the living daylights out of him. They went with artificial trees after that.

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  4. #4
    Inactive Member AnitaS's Avatar
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    It just wouldn't be Christmas if we didn't have to untangle the lights from the years past and wonder WHICH light was the "faulty" light. We did all this today, after a scrumptuous breakfast at I-HOP, a shopping trip for Lucky's supplies, and a visit to her place.

    I reminded #2 that SHE had placed those lights in the box the last time. [Bart Simpson: *I* didn't do it!] She couldn't remember. #1 was disappointed that we didn't wait for HER to help trim the tree, but had no objections to the ultimate result.

    Now that the tree is trimmed, Lucky has been visited, and Ekans is back in the tank with a full stomach, I won't see the girls until sometime later tomorrow. They're going to a club tonight, and #2 will accompany #1 to work tomorrow. All is well on the Western Front.

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  5. #5
    Inactive Member capnfun's Avatar
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    I think the Christmas tree will stay in the box this year, along with the other assorted holiday trinkets.Things just aren't so festive with the money bein so tight and it really doesn't hurt my feelings as my appreciation for the holidays was permanently marred from working retail for some 18 years.I be Grinchin'.

    I am going to cook the Christmas dinner with all the customary trimmings that accompany a turkey.Maybe afterwards I'll have margarita's by the pool?



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  6. #6
    Inactive Member Pammy's Avatar
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    Cap'n, I'm sending cold weather your way. You might need a jacket out there by the pool until the margaritas get into your system. wink

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  7. #7
    Inactive Member AnitaS's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure he'll be wearing shorts all winter, Pammy. I told him when we were in LV that the restaurant at which we were all meeting had a certain "dress code." He said, "Screw that!" and came in his shorts.

    I wouldn't have gotten a tree this year had it not been for #2's visit. I'd really hoped that #3 could have been here as well, but he's going to try and fly in AFTER Christmas. How long can I wait before this tree becomes a fire hazard? I'd really like him to see it, but I don't want to burn down the house. [SO is STILL teasing me about the egg missiles. Burning down the house would be like cutting open the couch.]

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  8. #8
    Inactive Member capnfun's Avatar
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    I'll be wearin' shorts only if I have to for a stinkin' job, though it has been coolish here, damn you Pammy ; )

    I will add the caveat Anita that allthough I did say that, I didn't bring any long pants any way, hell, I was in Vegas, it was supposed to be hot.And frankly, after the amount of $$$ they made on us we should have been allowed to have went nekkid hat skulking ; 0))))))

    Did we even inquire???



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  9. #9
    Inactive Member AnitaS's Avatar
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    I don't think nekkid hat skulking occurred to us at the time, Cap'n. I must chastise you, however, for putting that awful Mr. Grinch song into my head. It's as bad as the Mr. Ed song.

    Just when I thought my luck was turning around, I passed by the room containing the Twin Towers. It met a similar fate to the one in NY, except it fell over sideways. I must wait for the girls to come back to help me get it upright again and I'm sure they're still in bed, probably suffering from hangovers. We need to put something around the trunk to make it fatter. I remember Dave mentioning that one of the screws had gone as far as it could go.

    Due to this "minor inconvenience", I just can't get into the holiday mood today. Maybe I'll just run up and get some KFC for dinner. Holiday meals are supposed to be calorie-filled, right? That would do it.

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  10. #10
    Inactive Member Jack Booted Thug's Avatar
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    Question

    Anita,

    From your description it sounds like you found the perfect tree for reliving your Chrstmas's Past. Is the tree remaining fresh? Did Lucky get to go out for the "hunt and Kill" operation? Most of all, did you and your daughter have fun getting the tree and decorating it?

    If the tree is unstable I have a couple of ideas. If it is on carpet, get a small piece of plywood to sit the tree stand on. This will give the stand a steady surface and the plywood will be hidden by the tree skirt. Uh, you do have a tree skirt don't you? If the tree is not sitting on carpet then your problem is the tree itself. This is where Lawnmower Dave wouldn't have picked this deformed tree as either the split or the trunk size is causing a problem with balance. I really think you should have listened to his advice on the proper tree to get.

    However, this is the choice you made so you and your family are just going to have to learn to love the tree. Try some hot toddy's while sitting next to the tree. It sounds like you may need some further bonding with it.

    I think you should leave the tree up for your son to marvel at. After all, I'm sure that your SO wouldn't think it a true holiday if something bizarre didn't happen. Spontaneous combustion of the Christmas tree would seem to fit the bill for your holiday season.

    The Sequoia we selected is holding up fairly well except for the damage inflicted by the cat. Being bored one night she decided to strip all the garland off the tree and was busy chewing up the same when busted. Also managed to knock off a few ornaments, including the little glass bell that we got for my daughter's first Christmas. Broken, my wife was not happy. Thank God we had her declawed or she would be climbing the thing. At least Ekans won't be slithering up your tree.

    My daughter will be getting home this afternoon so I will get a full critique of the inadequacies of the tree and deficiencies in decorating. Will be wrapping presents this afternnon as wife is at work. No, there will be no saran wrap and I do a fine job with wrapping presents no matter what Pammy thinks.

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