And even MORE fanfic...

[Slartibartfast]

Okey-dokey, I wrote the first half of this a while back and posted it to the CFAN list I'm on. I got a pretty good response so I wrote some more, made some changes and decided to put it up here. Look at this as a What If? story, inspired by the Magik LS. Let me know if ya'll like it or not. It has some sorta-spoilers for Magik 3...
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*No Prayer in Hell*


"Amanda?"

"Hmmm...yes, Kurt?"

She looked up from her work and I wondered if this was a good idea. She was not the girl I had known. The eldritch armor of Magik hid her features from me. I could not read her eyes.

"Could we talk?"

"It is time, Kurt."

I slid into the chair next to hers. She watched me silently as I gathered my thoughts, a funny feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I steepled my fingers in front of me, leaning onto the table. I didn' t look at her. I was afraid of what I would see.

"Did I make the right decision?"

"What?"

"To become a priest. I didn't talk to you about it...and I am sorry for that. I am wondering now, what do you think? Was it the right decision?"

"Does it feel right to you?" Her voice was noncommital. She drew tight circles on the parchment in front of her with a pen. She was angry.

"I don't blame you for being upset..."

"When I came back to Earth, a demon was in you and I almost died because I loved you too much to kill your body. But now, I wish I had killed you."

It hit me like a slap in the face, I felt my mouth gap open. She was my sister, my first love, and she wishes me dead. Limbo had worked its dark magic on her soul. I rose to leave. She sprang to her feet, grabbing my arm, she twisted my wrist, trying to force me back into the chair.

"You will listen to me," she growled.

I could have easily broken free of her, ordinarily, but my legs turned to jelly at the cold look in her eyes. I sat back down with a thump, my tail trapped painfully under my leg.

"I should have killed you because you are not Kurt Wagner. You are not my brother, not my lover. You are a weak reflection. My Kurt is not weak. You can?t help me if you are weak."

"But..." A cold knife inserted itself into my gut.

"No, you're not. My Kurt would not run from his responsibilities. What happened to you?"

"I am answering a higher calling..." It sounded weak even in my own ears.

"Bull. You're running. But from what?" She twisted my arm again. "I will know."

I bared my teeth at her.

"I will not justify myself to you," I hissed. Anger was starting to clear my head; she was clearly mad. As mad as Illyana had become from the Soulsword's influence, as mad as... "You are as mad as our mother."

"I am not mad..." she trailed off and sat back down in her chair, releasing my arm. "I am...worried."

"Funny way of showing it."

She ignored my muttered comment, staring at the floor. "Tell me."

"What?"

"Why did you leave the X-Men?"

"I told you..." How could I tell her? How could I lie? She would know.

She looked up, her eyes locked with mine. "I know you better than anyone; yet you don't talk to me about this? I have always known we would never have a normal relationship, but part of me did hope to spend the rest of my life with you. Did you not think about that? Did I mean so little to you?"

"I needed to find who I was..."

"What?! You have always known who you are. More so than I even! That is part of your strength, part of what I loved about you."

"I always thought so..."

The eldritch armor melted away as she willed it to and she looked like herself again. "Please, no more lies."

She was so beautiful, her golden hair gleamed in the firelight, her green eyes gazed into mine. They were so full of betrayal. Ah, Amanda, Jimaine... I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"My mother is an evil woman, I was raised by a demon sorceress, I killed my brother because he was driven mad by that same sorcery, my sister is now the caretaker of Limbo. I have killed and I have seen myself become an instrument of evil. I have so much to answer to God for. I thought that becoming a priest was an atonement, a preventative measure..."

She cut me off, her voice rising, "And that is why you left the X-Men? Good God, Kurt!"

"No...and yes. I came here to help you. I swore that oath when we were children, but now I wonder if that is why I came. I know evil exists, I have seen it in many of its forms?including my own. I have felt its stain on my soul. No matter how many beads I count on my rosary, the stain will not go away. This place still makes my skin crawl, but..."

"And I am part of that evil...I see, Kurt. Very well, I release you from your promise. I will take you home...I will burden you no further." Her face was white, her voice shook. I felt tears well in my eyes. No, let me finish...I won't let it end like this. I reached out to her, trying to catch her hands. She shrank back from me, fat tears slid down her cheeks.

"Ach, no, Jimaine..."

"Don't call me that! Don?t you dare!" she screamed, rising from her chair so quickly it fell with a clatter behind her. Her voice dropped to an anguished whisper. "You are not my brother. Not my..." her voice cracked.

I felt the blood drain from my face as the knife twist deep inside me. I couldn't grab her fast enough as the blinding light of a stepping disk tore her from me.

"...I love you..." I stood alone in the dark. We were even.

***********************

I turn the conversation over and over in my mind as I sit in my darkened room, staring out the window. She has been gone too long. She left hours ago to enlist the aid of Mephisto and there has been no word. She has barely spoken to me since last night. If only I...

The commotion outside my door calls me to the hall. She is back. I teleport to the courtyard, blending in well with the sea of demonic creatures that surround her. I push my way through to her and grab her, hugging hard. Her ally, Duke Bleys, murmurs his to her but I barely hear him.

"Amanda! I was beginning to fear the worst!"

"Thank you, Kurt, Duke Bleys"

Her eyes bored into mine for an instant. They are cold and dead. I release her, feeling tears come to my own.

She calls for a convocation, she calls upon her allies. I am no help to her, but I will not leave her side.

All the host of hell gather in the great vault, I have never seen such a thing in my life. It is huge, so huge my mind cannot accept that it is real. But it is. Everything here is real and it is so different from what the priests tell me. I have seen, they haven't. How can I ever tell them? I can't.

The mighty powers of the netherworld combine, all at the summons of my ex-girlfriend. It boggles my mind. It makes me doubt. Doubt myself, my life...my choices.

I sit in one of the cave-like alcoves and watch her. My love, you have become everything I fear, but how can I deny you? You see through me, to my soul, and I wonder; did you see the truth? You left in such a rush last night, you were so angry, but did you leave for the reason I thought you did?

I came here to help her, in any way I could. But I know now I was helping myself also. Limbo was were I met my evil doppleganger so long ago. In all my experiences with Belasco since, I never forgot that first encounter. I had jumped the man who looked like me from behind and when he turned to look at I felt my soul burn in his eyes.

?Does not the sight of your true self will you with pride?!' he had hissed in my face. His eyes had been alight with perverse evil and insanity. When I took his clothes and his place I was terrified that I would become him. I denied for a long time that he was me. Was I capable of such atrocity? Was I, in fact, a monster under the skin?

Being here had helped me exorcise my demons. I have returned to Limbo and prevailed. I no longer have anything to prove. Perhaps I can return to the X-Men. Return home and, perhaps, take Amanda with me.

Lost in thought, I wandered the halls of the citadel. I heard a voice, it was Duke Bleys. I hadn't meant to listen in, but what I heard shocked me.

I rushed him, teleporting into him. He transformed before my eyes into S'ym, a demon I had never thought to see again. A horrid lackey of Belasco?s.

Amanda appeared in the doorway behind me, S'ym threw me away like a rag doll and charged her. I hit the wall, stunned, but I looked up just in time to see her look at me, her eyes wide with fear. She hesitated for just a split second before he was on her.

She tried to block him, bringing the Soulsword up in a shining arc, but he got in under her guard, his claws ripping across her exposed stomach, before he sped away into the shadows.

I heard myself scream her name and teleported. She fell like a stone, the sword still clutched in her hand. I was there to catch her. I eased her to the floor, pressing my hand to her wounds. The blood poured between my fingers. She smiled up at me, her eyes bright.

"Kurt? You are...okay?"

"For God's sake, someone help her!" Her second, Vitchen, ran into the room and immediately went for help, calling down the halls. His booming voice echoed in my ears.

"Magik has been betrayed!"

I pressed my right hand into her stomach as hard as I could, she gasped from the pain. With my free hand, I stoked her cheek, trying to soothe her.

"There was supposed to be more time...I had so much to tell you."

"Shhhh...you'll be okay," I lied, tears overflowed my eyes. "You've just got to hang on; I've got something to tell you."

"It's okay, I know...I feared this....end...I wanted to spare you....me...from this...pain."

"There will be no end," my voice cracked. "Be quiet, save your strength."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt....I have no choice..."

"What are you talking about, liebling?" I looked up, searching the empty halls, I screamed for help again. I didn't even notice when something hard and cold was slipped into my right hand.

I looked down. It was the Soulsword. My eyes sought Amanda's, she was chanting. Blood bubbled from the corners of her mouth.

"What are you doi..."

Suddenly, I was frozen to my core, transfixed to the spot. I felt a twisting in my gut again. This time, it was not the twisting of a knife: it was a sword. I think I cried out. Amanda reached up to me, the armor of Magik melting away. She touched my cheek, her fingers trembling, she wiped away my tears.

"I'm so, so sorry, Kurt. There is no one else I trust. It is up to you now...I know...I love you too..." the light in her eyes went out.

The Soulsword wouldn't fall from my nerveless fingers.

***************
I know it's kinda dark and all...I read Magik 3 reeeaaal late at night and then I looked up the Excalibur Soulsword thing. Which I hated, but it makes more sense now. All this made me say, hmmm. *yawn* Then I went to bed and had a nasty dream. You just read most of it.

I doubt anyone would want the further adventures of Kurt in Hell but if ya want, knock yourself out.

(smilie to lighten mood)
"Boiled egg, Kurt?" hehe



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~Award-winning designer of Norway's lovely crinkly edges.~

[Rex Luscus]

Wow. Very, very good, Slar. What an ironic twist at the end. *Far* better than what the Magik LS actually gave us--an ending that makes sense, character-wise. You know, the first version of this story is on my site; do you want me to update it with this version?

-Rex

[This message has been edited by Rex Luscus (edited January 10, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Rex Luscus (edited January 10, 2001).]

[BAMF!]

WoW, that was intense SLARTIBARTFAST. Very dark and foreboding, but at the same time, the fact that these two characters Love each very much comes shining through.
Great job !


BAMF!

[x-girl85]

Wowwwwwwwwwwww. That's an incredible story. I liked it. an Epilogue would be awesome.

[Slartibartfast]

Danke! Sure Rex, fix 'er up.

I haven't been able to get the last part of Magik yet. I've been wondering how it ended. Does it suck?

If I think of an epilogue I'll do it.



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~Award-winning designer of Norway's lovely crinkly edges.~

[Rex Luscus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slartibartfast:
I haven't been able to get the last part of Magik yet. I've been wondering how it ended. Does it suck?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your version is much better, trust me.

-Rex