What is the plural of "MEN"?

**larsguy** · September 25th, 2002, 08:19 PM

The other day I took my car to the dealer for some maintenance. The dealership has just built a new maintenance building that includes a sexy waiting area complete with HD flat-panel TV.

After a time, nature called. I went over to the rest-rooms, my heart palpitating in anticipation of the modern conveniences therein.

Even before entering I was stunned. The doors were labeled MENS and WOMENS. How did this grammatical ignorance occur in a state-of-the-art public building? Is this the result of a poorly TRAINED sign craftsperson or a poorly EDUCATED sign author? Maybe the author of the sign intended there to be apostrophes indicating possession (ie, MEN'S and WOMEN'S)? But that would be silly; there is no legal possesion involved. Then I thought that maybe this is just another Hoosierism, akin to pronouncing Peru as Peeeeru. But no, Naptown is no longer a provincial burg. We have Starbucks and tapas restaurants and major league sports franchises.

Then it dawned on me. This "misspelling" was intentional! There is a subtle distinction between MEN and MENS. Think about the plural of "person". It is "people" right? No, not if you are intending to refer to a collection of individuals. In that case, the plural of "person" is "persons".

Likewise, in this diverse multicultural society, we no longer have a nation of people, we have a nation of "peoples". Every subgroup of ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, linguistic orientation, etc is a "people". Taken together they are "peoples".

Hence the rest-rooms were labeled in a way consistent with post-modern sensitivity as I have just "proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with geometric logic". Each room is designed to hold more than one person of that particular gender. Moreover each person might be an individual of a different "people". Hence it is appropriate, yea imperative, to label the rooms MENS and WOMENS. If there had been a unisex bathroom (and of course there should have been), it would be necessary to label it "PERSONS".

Please send a note of appreciation for this small act of sensitivity to the General Manager, Penske Chevrolet, 3210 E. 96th St, Indianapolis, IN 46240.

In these perilous times, sensitivity is sooooo important.

Thank you and God Bless America.

**flora** · September 26th, 2002, 12:34 AM

Hokay Larsie,

Here in the Bohemian haunts on the left coast - the paintings of erotic Naked Dames are always only located in the Menz Room. [Wimenz powder rooms are devoid of eroticism of any persuasion - except for occasional overblown tropical flowers. Does it not mix naturally with the infant changing tables?] Whazzup wid dat? Angels are cool in their place, I guess, but where is the parity you so courageously champion?

Enquiring minds . . .

PS {don't ask me how I know such things. Suffice to say, it is purely scientific inquiry at its' purest}

la flora dora