No Words

[Rogue Angel]

*sobbing miserably*... there are no words to describe the way i feel right now... [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]

[Beautiful~Mistake]

well, what's up?
-offers ya my box o' kleenex-

[Rogue Angel]

*takes a few, wiping eyes*.... today was leaving day... [img]frown.gif[/img] everything was rushed, and there was just no time for me to say how i felt about it before he had to go... and last night i was bitchy and moody cuz my eyes have been half swollen shut for like most of the 2 weeks he was here... i wasn't very charming and entertaining, and i rained on our last night here together... *sighs*.... if i were him, i woulda been glad to make tracks and get back on the other side of the country... [img]frown.gif[/img] i came back here and walked into the empy house, and bawled my brains out for about 2 hours... it just doesn't seem right... i knew it would be this way... but at the same time i didn't, though that doesn't make sense... i knew it would be hard... but i didn't think my own house would feel alien to me without him in it... [img]frown.gif[/img] it will get better... errr... i hope....? [img]confused.gif[/img]

[Beautiful~Mistake]

Ooooo i understand that...
-huggs ya-
i'm sure you two'll laugh about it later

[Father Dave]

and if ya don't- i got some neat guns for sale! [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wonder.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/grrr.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/whatever.gif[/img]

[Blazey]

Awww honey..*HUGS* Just start planning the next visit that will get your mind off it it some! Think of the fun you had and know that this wasnt goodbye! [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[Rogue Angel]

[img]graemlins/sleepy.gif[/img] ....why do i feel like i'm gonna be REALLY tired tomorrow...? lol... i can't sleep...*sighs*... my bed is lonely.... [img]frown.gif[/img] that's 2 new board designs in one night, *L*....

<font color="#7D9EC0" size="1">[ August 10, 2006 05:57 AM: Message edited by: Rogue Angel ]</font>

[Pickles]

Hugs ya lightly. Have a great day sweetie.

[Rogue Angel]

*hugggs Pickles, Chele and Paige*... didn't have such a hot day, lol... i came home really early from work, and was only there for like 30 min. before i left... i didn't do CRAP today... *L*... i had been up all night, my eyes were swollen almost all the way shut, i couldn't breathe very well, my throat felt swollen, blah blah blah.... i couldn't take it anymore and went to the doctor and various places, getting some kinda corticosteroid stuff IV, another steroid pack, more eyedrops, breathing treatments, and something to lower my BP, which was something like 175/115.... eek. i have high BP, but i take meds for it, so that is like, WAY up there for me.... (it usually runs around 120-130 over 70-75 these days...) YUCK. i came home, downed about 3 more benedryl, lol, caked my gooey leaking eyes with vaseline, and sat in my chair with an icepack over my eyes to try to bring down the swelling.... work wasn't even an option, really... and oddly enough, i ran into my mother while i was there, who had been up all night with her chest and back hurting... they think she has pleurisy, which i hear is very painful.... moreso even than pneumonia... that sucks... [img]frown.gif[/img] we kept our family doc hopping today with unexpected appointments... *L*.... and GD it! i am sick to death of hearing "ohhhhhh, you've been cryin all night because you're sad!!" ugh, yes, i was sad, lol, and yes, i cried... but damn, i don't think i have EVER cried so much that my eyelids swelled shut and i had big red, angry, almost bloodyish looking grooves down from the corners where they have leaked and i have wiped them.... i was SCARED to cry any longer than i did yesterday, lol, salty tears in irritated sensitive skin isn't too great of a thing, you can only keep it up for so long before you're trembling just from the effort of not rubbing or tearing your stupid eyes out....

hmm. i also have PMS... *L*. I'm overly emotional anyway, exhausted and snappy from this crap going on for days and days in a row.... if all this stuff doesn't work, i can't say i will be held responsible for what happens next... lol. I don't think the people i dealt with today think i'm all too sweet or cute... lol. Everywhere i go, people look at me like i'm completely diseased, i just wanna hop up and down and scream "it's gonorrhea, ok? i got a shot in the eye by accident, and now i have THE most horrific case of gonorrhea in my eye!!" then stumbling into them and wiping my hands on thiers... i know, i know.... BAD girl... [img]graemlins/whatever.gif[/img] lol. I'm thinking i will return soon to my bed (where i slept for about 15 min. this morning with an icepack on my face, *L*) and who would have guessed? put an icepack on my eyes and try to come down off of all this stuff making me hyper, and doze off and on for a bit.... things will be better later on, once everything has had a chance to work for a while.... i hope... ? [img]confused.gif[/img]

i have some funny stories to tell... if i ever feel better, dammit... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

<font color="#7D9EC0" size="1">[ August 10, 2006 03:59 PM: Message edited by: Rogue Angel ]</font>

[BlackMagicRose]

Whoa whoa whoa....calm down. Leaving is always the hard part. But try to remember to breathe. Well or relax and meditate. If I start going into anxiety/panic/upset mode like that I have to settle myself down by starting relaxation techniques. They help immensely. I usually put on my Native American flute music with the drums and lay down in bed and just close my eyes and breathe to the beat...let everything go....clear your mind and try to think of nothing. Just take some time to get the allergies and stuff under control and then the separation anxiety and you'll be fine. Meditation works wonders though.*HUGS* [img]wink.gif[/img]