alone

[Beautiful~Mistake]

abandoned, desolate, & detached describe how i feel now...
not now, as in this moment, but now as in life, from now to forever...
isolated, lonesome, apart are a few more adjectives..
words used to describe a noun, person, place, or thing; me...
alone... all these words mean it... it is the feeling i have the most...
my best friend is gone... the only person i could really chill with...
i tried to set something up with her... to be with her... to see if i really lost her...
it didn't work out and now i can't see her.. i just feel so bad..
i've messed up so many things.. relationships, trust, everything..
sometimes i feel like sitting down.. wrapping myself up in my arms and crying..
i can't.. i can't break down like that.. i don't know why, i just can't...
so many things... friends.. happiness.. her.. so much i crave...
sure, by the look on my face, i'm ok... not a care in the world...
but most of the time it's a mask... i'm afraid if i act how i feel, i'll be misunderstood..
i just shrug things off... but not recently.. i wish everything would be as it was...
i had a friend... i spent time with her.. i had a friendship..
everything i wanted... i had... now it's all gone... and i am alone...

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ January 27, 2004 05:50 AM: Message edited by: the revenant ]</font>

[Beautiful~Mistake]

"...you give up"

so... you've given it all you can and your life is in the garbage can and you say you're tired and dry cuz your mind won't let you cry so you hang up what is left inside and you want to kiss it all goodbye you're lost in space, you're swirling ever higher you're lost on your own, you're too far from home you're no one's friend, you gave it your best try yeah! you're stuck in the drone, of being alone. you turn to light, but all you get is darkness your head turns to stone, your numbness has grown you're stuck inside your little world of rejects the good world unknown, you're stuck in the drone.

[Beautiful~Mistake]

*s....

that crazy detached feeling.......