Giving Back

[Beautiful~Mistake]

My First Day as an Islander.
I went to my very first AA meeting today
got my 24 hour chip..
those people are so real, man..
it's such a strange feeling,
to walk into a room full of strangers
and know that not one of them
is ever going to judge you..

one guy was celebrating his 8th 'birthday'
it was a party of sorts
yet..
i was the most important person in the room..
and they made sure i knew it..

i didn't talk for the longest time..
and the people kept telling me how lovely my smile is...
and that i must have made a mistake
because that was a meeting for alcoholics..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

i remember..
when i was younger..
yeah, like a few years ago..
my friends and i used to make fuckin jokes
about going to aa..
i could never ever say
"hi my name is paige,
and i'm an alcoholic..."
without laughing..

it's no joke...

[Beautiful~Mistake]

the topic the guy chose,
since it was his birthday,
after all,
was "giving Back"

basically..
anybody can walk into a meeting
but going back..
and talking with these people..
these real people..
doctors, lawyers, hoboes and moms..
teenagers and grandparents and
probably even your fourth grade teacher..
these meetings,
it's a gift to you..
from you..

but after all's said and done..
how have you given back,
for all the kindness you were shown?

not just in al anon, people..
don't forget to give back in the game of life,
either..
because you never know when it's gonna end..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

these people..
they bought me a book
and they gave me their numbers...
"if you ever need to talk...."
strangers!
complete strangers!
talking to me like i was a long lost friend..

it's very touching...

<font color="#FF9900" size="1">[ May 29, 2004 02:39 AM: Message edited by: the revenant ]</font>

[Beautiful~Mistake]

now..
i'm not selling out..
and i'm not gonna go all
holier than thou on ya'll..
but..
groups and meetings are such a great way
of getting through things..
and there's so many of them..

i should start a group for people who just wanna go to a group..
feeling a little left out?
the group group,
i'll call it..

[Blazey]

Is proud of you..wise beyond your years lil one..i think bout ya every day..and send you happy thoughts..even if you dont hear them..i know they are there for you..and now..so do you.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Beautiful~Mistake]

blaZer *smooch.. did i pm you back yet?.. i dunno..
thank you.. *beams..
i hope it works out soon...
i've never felt so...
useless...
i dunno...
this is terrible..

quitting drinking is tough..
quitting smoking is tough..
quitting drugs is really tough..
quitting all three at the same time is like throwing myself off the balcony from the 10th floor and surviving..
it hurts..........

happy thoughts, i need...
sometimes i get them...

i get calling cards from my close friends...
not like.. that piece of plastic that enables me to call anywhere in canada or the us for only 2 cents a minute..
i mean like...
certain songs...
or a notion..
maybe a bird.

[Blazey]

yes maam you sure did..and yeah..those hurt like hell..but you have and always will be one tough girl..you take what life has given you and make the most of it..you get lost..you get sad..you get scared..but you make it..and those calling cards mean so very much dont they.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[Blazey]

*claps*...keep posting..its wonderful to see it thru your eyes.. [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

[Beautiful~Mistake]

ahh good.. i wans't sure if i did..
i know..
i've been thru much worse..
in the aspect of tough times..
but this takes..
every ounce of strength i have left..
and even what i don't have...
those calling cards mean so sooo much to me..
and i know that those who receive mine..
well, they mean a lot to them, also..
i hope you all get mine
as i send them regularly
to all my loved ones
*