heart breaking should be a sport

[Beautiful~Mistake]

spyder - it was sooo nice to hear your voicee =)

i had XXX amount of dollars saved up for this trip i was taking
which got cancelled
due to heart breaking *scowls..
and i wound up spending almost every damn penny in one weekend.

stupid, stupid, stupid...

so i turned around and broke somebody else's heart..
one good turn deserves another, right?

i'm gearin down here, tryin to figure some things out..
anybody want a paige for christmas?

i'm gonna spend my first christmas alone..
really, absolutely alone..
i could almost cry..

blarghity..
but i'm getting new tattoos..
possibly even a piercing...
and my hair done..
so maybe that'll lift my spirits, some..

my step mom took me out for coffee the other day
and she looked at me and said
"either you've been crying a lot, or you're just really stoned..."

*L i was like uhhh..
i'm really stoned and i've been crying a lot..
double the pleasure, eh..

double the consequences..

at least i've realized that no place is really safe for me..
i don't see there being a drug free place for me to go to..
which makes it so much harder..
but then..
i can rationalize it..
i don't drink because i'm in aa..
but i'm not in na, yet, so i can still get high?

i should go to treatment, i think..
this is rediculous..

*L.. i didn't realize until these past couple of days..
just how down i am right now..
i decided i wasn't going to let this shit bother me..
and i tried to bounce back again..
but this one got me, really good..

i need to talk to my medicine woman..
does anybody know about subconscious happenings?
bama?
maybe you can help me..

some really weird shit is happening to me
and i can't explain it..
it's actually kinda freaky..

but, eh..
i don't know..
i'm just ranting because i'm lonely..
have a nice day everyone =)

[Zipfile_exe]

The demon named "emotion" that seeks the weakest points of our hearts. grabs holds with steal bonds and barbed claws with only one purpose...to lead us around like useless puppets

[mRs.GaToR]

Paige...i [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] you.....wish there was some
way i could help you....im sorry you are
having such a tough time right now.....just
remember...i am here for you if you ever need
to talk....pm me your number and i will call
you.....*HUGS* ya tight [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img]

[Beautiful~Mistake]

bama.. it's more than just feelings..
i mean, really strange things are happening
to me,
around me
because of me?
i don't get it..
but its not like..
mental
it's..
actual things happening?
if that makes sense..

mrs gator..
smoooooches you..
i will pm you soon..

the house i'm living in sold
i have until the end of the month to find a new home
i just got back from a meeting with my counsellor
and on monday
i'm going to campbell river
to meet with a group of people
doing a project on community awareness of drugs and alcohol
each year,
they get funding to do 6 projects.
one they're doing is going tos chools and talking
another is a board of professionals answering questions
and the third is me

the last girl my counsellor did this with
made such abig hit
she actually became famous with her story..
so we'll see where it leads..

<font color="#FF9900" size="1">[ September 21, 2004 06:44 PM: Message edited by: the revenant ]</font>

[Zipfile_exe]

Then enlighten me on the "things"

subconsience actions are In part a result of hidden feelings. usualy ones we deny having or don know we have..

[Beautiful~Mistake]

things like..
the way i talk..
the clothes i choose to wear in the morning..
even the cigarettes i'm smoking

people are acting differently around me..
like they can see my aura, kind of..

i was walking down the street one night, and i was walking past this palce that looked soo much like back home and it made me really sad, because i realized how much i miss thescenery there,
and i just keep having these weird feelings of deja vu..
like whoa..
i used to do this back home..
all these things that happened to me, around me, because of me,
are happening here.

does that make sense?

[SummerStorm]

Paigey Pooh bebe gurl...i loves ya lotsa bits n i'm here ifn ya need n ear or a shoulder or whatever ...i'd gladly take a paigey for Christmas*VBS* you n my girls could have lotsa fun*W*...chin up bebe n pm me yer number n i'll give ya a hollah too...love ya *hugs n smooches*

[SPYDERLUV]

paigey pooooo....
you know i loove you..