First, let me just say that if ever I had forgot, the last hour has reminded me of just how anxious and panicky my wife can become under traumatic tension. She is my rock, my sanity, my anchor...until emergencies set in. Then, she becomes a rabbit.
She was babysitting - along with our own rugrat - her sister's youngest sons by herself today. When I went home for lunch, she had the our tenacious daughter in the high chair, and the boys were supposed to be napping. The youngest is but a week older than our 14-month little girl, and the next one up is quite nearly two years old. While she made me a sandwich, I went upstairs to use the facilities, when I peeked in to see him with her compact. He took the applicator and quickly brushed some just on his face, and then he picked up the eye shadow. He hadn't noticed me when I asked, "Why aren't you sleeping?" from the doorway, in my most threatening authoritative tone. Of course, he jumped and smeared a streak on his cheek. I, laughing, couldn't proceed with any disciplinary action so I summoned Mrs. Nostromo. She of course gave him a good swat, and me the hairy eyeball for laughing while her makeup was being destroyed. I later softened her up and persuaded her to see the humor in it, and she put him back in the bed for a longer nap. Although I won't remind her anymore today, I did mention that it was a bad idea to leave him in our room unsupervised. That was that.
Later this afternoon, I was away from my desk more than usual trying to get a job out in time for the mail. Finally, at about 5 after, I get back and find a message on my phone. Sounding rather distraught, my wife first says, "Where are you?!" followed by several huffs and stutters. At length she says something about not getting through, "because she'd be trying to call... Just try to call me back. <click>"
WTF? So I spent the next 20 minutes trying to get past the busy signal at the other end. I figured had it been an absolute emergency, she would have had me paged, but that wasn't the case. I had another quick task to do, and then resumed trying to call her. Finally, it rings, and a slightly less terrified voice gives me a quick hello.
"Hi," I say, "are you ok?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"What's going on?"
"<exhales> I went up to check on Andrew a while ago, and he was sitting on the bed saying, 'look, I ate all of them.'"
"All of what?"
"What's in our room that he would eat all of?" she asked rhetorically.
"Oh...your pills?!"
"Yep."
"Oh man, is he ok?"
"Well, I had to call three different places, but, yeah, they said he might get an upset stomach and to give him lots to drink, but he'll be fine."
In the time that I had been trying to call her, she had called the next-door neighbor, the emergency room, poison control, and they put her through to a registered nurse and a pharmacist. The boy had swallowed two weeks worth of hormone suplements and several placebos - birth control pills. So, I'm heading home momentarily, and I have to keep a straight face, but it's too hard. The makeup, the pills... It's too much. I'm glad he's ok, but it's just too funny.
While I was typing this, she called me back.
"Do you have any cash on you?"
"No, but I have my checkbook."
"Well, I won't make you write a check."
"For what?"
"...condoms."
So, I'll be stopping at the drug store on the way home. This is my life. There are so many things that should probably just drive me over the edge, but I can't help but laugh.
I made her promise to let me tell her sister.
these are what you keep you sane in the long run, mediocrity would kill you [img]tongue.gif[/img]
besides, now you can say "I need to pick up to some condoms and run home quick cause my kid ate a shitload of hormone supplements and was putting on my wife's make-up" [img]eek.gif[/img]
Welcome to the jungle Nostro....
Don't know why, I got a flashback, not related with this..
When I had my first daughter, I use to arrive very late from work, but I had to take care of the new born and trying to get her to sleep, it wasn't easy. One night, it was my turn and I started to sing to her while moving the rocking chair, my ex was already sleeping. You know what happened ? I felt asleep while holding her....
My mother who was living here, passed by and saw her all wake up while I was snorting. She took her to her room.
After I don't know how many minutes later, I started to wake up and began searching with my hands......
I will tell you....I FREAKED OUT !!!
I looked under me, behind me, everywhere, while my heart was pounding...."DAMM, JESUS, I LOST HER" !!!!
My mother seams to have heard all the conmotion and approached the door "Are you Ok" ?
well....NO !!!
When she opened the door with my baby girl......well.......there are no further words.....
<font color="#cd6600" size="1">[ January 25, 2005 06:25 PM: Message edited by: MM4 ]</font>
*takes MM4's car keys while he's sleeping*
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">So you'll just post it on the internet [img]biggrin.gif[/img]Originally posted by Nostronomicon:
I made her promise to let me tell her sister.
Classic! I wonder if he will remember to not let him alone in your bedromm now [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
lol, that was a good story. Thanks for that.
Now in the aftermath, the boy is doing just fine. Not even a sign of the stomach ache the nurse predicted. She showed me what all he had to do to get to those pills:
First, there are child-proof locks on the cabinet door under the nightstand. He apparently shoved something in the right place to get them unlocked. Then, theres a box with a clasp like you might find on a guitar case. He had no trouble with that. The pills are in a dispenser that is rather like a lady's compact thingy, with a hard plastic shell and a snap tight lid. After mastering the makeup kits earlier, this must have been a piece of cake. The pills inside are sealed in a plastic sheet with foil underneath, made so that each day you simply push the pill through the dispensing mechanism - no small feat for my wife generally, but he managed to push 13 pills through the foil in a matter of a few minutes. The child is 18 months old. ...at least he's not pregnant...
So, now that everything has calmed down and the boys are home and safe, we put our baby to bed and I fixed the wife a stiff drink. She's sleeping soundly now.
Just one of those days...
LMFAO!!
glad he's okay, but damn, tht's some funny shit!
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