Rainbow

[batfreak]

Dinner conversation gone bad.

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: Definitely not!
WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND: Of course I do.
WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?
WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?
HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.
WIFE: (silence)
HUSBAND: $h!t.


- - - -

A dog is in the veterinarian's office and notices another dog waiting to see
the doc. "What are you in here for" he asks.
The second dog replies, "See my owner here"? "He bought a new couch, and I
was playing on it and tore the thing up. I am getting declawed".
Then he asked the first dog, "Why are you here"? And he replied, "See my
owner"? "She was wearing a short nightie last night. She bent over to pick up
a newspaper, and wasn't wearing any underwear. I mounted her". "Oh man",
replied the second dog. "Are you getting neutered"? "No" replied the dog.
"I'm getting declawed too"! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[erisesoteric]

Do they actually declaw dogs? Moot question, but I've never heard of it being done...

[RichC]

How do you even think of things like this???

[batfreak]

A girl walks in to a supermarket and buys the following items:

1 Bar of Soap
1 Toothbrush
1 Tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 frozen pizza
1 single frozen dinner

The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is
carrying a basket with a six pack of stella, a pizza and some Wagon
Wheels. As she turns he smiles at her and says,

"Single, eh?"

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies

"Yes. How did you guess?"

He looks at her - straight in the eyes and gently says
"Because you're bloody ugly"

[erisesoteric]

This has happened to you, hasn't it?

[batfreak]

I would never stand at a checkout and tell a woman she was ugly
Plus, I don't like Wagon Wheels.... [img]graemlins/bat.gif[/img]

[erisesoteric]

Right, you'd wait till she was almost out the door, and you were out of range, I know.

Oh, and, what's a wagon wheel?

[batfreak]

A wagon wheel is a chocolate covered biscuit with a jam and creamy gooey center

[erisesoteric]

That actually sounds pretty good...

[Dan the Goob]

I don't know, but I bet they aren't nearly as good as a wagon wheel