Thread: Hi

**3peanuts** · May 22nd, 2003, 06:19 PM

I know I've been away for a lot of time. Well, I don't really know why. I think something like "real life" was calling me and I just, uhm, dedicated myself to the calling.

But this is not the point here: things happened since I wrote on this forum for the last time.

A war.

I was feelin' kind upset, very upset, and as wise as a six years old.

I didn't want to hurt nobody's feelings expressing my disgust, my total hate for the situation, my rage and fury. I know everyone of you is a sweetie: I was not feeling a sweetie as well. I could just skip the war-related topics, but this wouldn't be sincere.

Somebody with a big big heart and a deep deep mind told me that it wasn't bad to feel angry, and that letting the rage out on this forum wouldn't be wise. Because nobody of you is responsible for the political ways of American administration, and every voice is worth listening to, even when it makes you mad. I told you I was not well within my nerves.

Now I'm wiser, I won't start a fight with anybody of you. But this made me reflect: could we just be open? Is this world making us closed and not inclined to each other's understanding?

Is this world changing us, forcing us to be worse?

Let me just hug you. 3peanuts is back.

**JaceSan** · May 22nd, 2003, 07:52 PM

hugs back atcha.

**erisesoteric** · May 22nd, 2003, 11:48 PM

On the one hand, I want everyone to feel that they can be honest and open. I want everyone to feel that they can come here and say what they want to say.

I really do want that.

But see, there's this other hand.

Getting everyone in this forum to agree with any one thing is similar to herding cats. Some of us will go along, some of us will sit there and laugh at you, and some of us will claw your eyes out if you get too close.

Not everyone in this forum agrees about any aspect of the war.

That's one part of what's on the other hand.

Another part of it is this. It is human nature, when attacked, to have one of two responses, sometimes both. Fight, or flight. It's there, it's basic, it's fundamental, and if you want to understand other people, or even yourself, you have to understand that.

This applies to ideological threats as well.

Now, I'm not saying that we can't OVERCOME the response. I'm not saying that no person is capable of reaching beyond gut instinct to understand that the perceived threat may not be an actual threat at all. We do it all the time.

And I'm also not saying that any one person coming here to vent, to release emotion, to use the resource we provide, (ie comfort) is necessarily presenting an ideological threat to any other person.

However, those expressions of rage, of frustration, of anger CAN BE PERCEIVED as such.

And have been.

And quite often we, and I include myself, have responded to the perceived threat by fighting, or by fleeing.

If you feel threatened, don't you want to fight back?

So I have taken a middle ground position. I ask, and really, what power do I have but to ASK, that people be careful in their phrasing. To remember that, even if that is not what they want to do, that their expressions of rage and frustration can be perceived as... threats. Not a threat to oneself, but a threat to one's thinking.

Perhaps I've not taken the wisest course. But I remember what happened with 9/11, and how we ended up, somehow, attacking each other, when what we really wanted was comfort, when what we wanted was to put our words down, and have them validated.

We're none of us going to change each other. We shouldn't even try. That doesn't mean we can't talk about it... it just means that... yes, we can't be totally open with each other.

We're none of us perfect yet.

**3peanuts** · May 23rd, 2003, 07:22 PM

Thanks Eris.

**Chaos Butterfly** · May 26th, 2003, 07:14 AM

*hugs*

Hi 3peanuts glad to see your back [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rainbow.gif[/img]

**AsIs** · May 27th, 2003, 02:59 AM

*hugs*

Also glad to see you back 3peanuts!

With all that is going on in the world these days, it's just...well, hard. Everyone has reasons to be upset about things that are happening. And many times it seems that those reasons oppose each other.

I think the internet has been a wonderful resource in breaking down barriors. How else could you get to know someone halfway across this ever shrinking world as well as someone who lives down the street.

Time will hopefully give many objectivity on recent events, but for now many of them remain very sensitive and hot button issues. Even tho years have now gone by.

*hugs again*

Glad you are back!