surfacing

[SPYDERLUV]

seems like some things never change.
no matter how dead this board is, I know i can come here an post my thoughts and my feelings.

seems like for everytime something good happens, the wheel of ka spins around and kicks me in the mouth.

One of the biggest mistakes in my life was moving to weston, ohio. out of the 11 months i have been here, i have only worked about 5 of those months.

so i finally get a job, been there 2 days now, and i start talking to a girl at another board i go to. so of course like the fucking stupid ass that i am, i startto develop a crush on her, and i dont want to say to much, cause i figure that i will scare her away, cause im a stupid fuck like that, i mean look at lori, i scared her away.

im just tired of being lonely.
no one i like is attainable, and i only have 13 more years left to live.
im going to die at 40, but hell if my life is the same as it is now in 13 years why the fuck would i want to live.

I just get this sudden urge to bash my head into a wall lately.
goodbye to sorrow, good bye to sadness.
but all this shit is no ones fault but my own.

this is my own demon.

so i must live with it.

fuck it

[LORD HIGH BEAR]

spyder, you know what the meaning of life is?
there is no fucking meaning. there is no point to life. you're just here and you have to deal with it.
i haven't had a decent relationship in years as well.
but if you go and do something stupid (like killing yourself), you'll miss all the fun. [img]wink.gif[/img]

[SPYDERLUV]

there is no fun boyo.

[DARKsyde]

there, there Spydie. It can and will get better just don't be to shy and let people know the truth and how u feel. The best quote that I can give to u is " Open youor eye's, there is a whole giant world in front of YOU!" [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[Predator]

spyder man. If we were like teh same age man and you lived nere me i swear youd have like the graest time of your life man. Like seriously i learned so much in my life about life. like bear sead there is no fucking point. just have as much fun as possable when it comes to girls and stuff. i sujest staying away from girls on the internet that like the worst way of getting girls. like just go walk around or go to clubs or bars or jsut some were were you can find girls. ones ont eh internet never realy wann meet you in rel life. It just being nice and polete. and when it comes to talkignto them. jokes and happyness are the way to be. girls hate depressedness. like in the movies it workes. but its a movie that shit never happens in real life. the best thign is to jsut not be depressed. i knwo its hard jsut listen to some up beat music day dream about rockign out hang wiht some firends and dont even think about ane thign thats getting you down just do what ever is the most fun. like i made my own relegion. and in it there is no god. not satan no heaven or hell there is jsut the tiem we have here alive. so live to the last second you can. party it up. life is to short to be down just have fun if somting has you down jsut rop it then and there casue you deserve better and dont need somting that will drag you down. I meen i dont drink or do drugs or ane of that shit and i am like one of the happest people i know. cause i jsut dont let shit get on me. im like bahtroom counter everyhting thast supose be there stayes. but all the gunk and shit of life i can wipe away.