Heres why its too bad to be too nice

[naughty kitten]

There is a difference between being nice and being a pushover...a fine line, but it's there nonetheless.

Please don't give up on being a nice guy...just concentrate on the motives behind your niceness. Are you really being kind, or are you just avoiding confrontation, or is there some other motive lurking in the background?

Don't get me started.....I'll get all Dr. Phil on you

[esvenneby]

Well I think that its more about being a "good match", then it is about being nice or being an asshole. I mean c'mon, theres a lot of different types out there. People tell themselves "this is the one for me" when they are not. As you take time to get to know each other, it will become obvious if the right chemistry is there or not. If "any" girl/ guy is your type (if you'd settle for anyone to avoid loneliness) then they will intuitively feel you pushing to make it happen and that will push them away further. If you have any respect for yourself, you dont stay with someone to avoid loneliness. You stay with someone because they feel "right" for you. Alot of people think that I'm a "heartbreaker/bitch" but its not about being a bitch, its about being true to yourself AND the person that your spending quality time with. If the pieces of the puzzle dont fit, dont force it. Respect that person (bitch/asshole) for having the courage to be honest with themselves and with you. Theres somebody out there for all of us. Dont settle for less. You'll find them when you are supposed to. Enjoy life for what it is right now. Being single and having your independence is fun. Its only sad and lonely if you think it is. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[kraut]

<font color="#E9B756">Hm, plenty of people tell me I'm a nice and reliable guy. My relationship is about 4 and a half years old and with all the ups and downs every relationship experiences I can honestly say that me and my girlfriend are a truly happy couple, relying on each other when necessary and being free individuals where possible (or necessary, and "free", on a philosphical basis, being relative of course).

The last two guys my girlfriend had a relationship with were ignorant pricks, didn't treat her right. Now why am I still with her and those dumbasses aren't? Guess what, because I treat her fair and honest (that's pretty much what you call a nice guy, right?), the way that every partner deserves it. I don't want to mystify the whole "big love thing", but in the end, that's what it boils down to. If you really love someone and want to live with them (and no "forever talk" here), you treat them right. And you can't treat your loved ones right being an asshole.

Keep your spirit of being a good person towards other people whenever you feel it's right. By the time you won't surround yourself with those who take an andvantage of your kindness any more.

<font size="2">p.s.: off-topic,anyone notice the gold font color? just bought myself a goldtop... [img]smile.gif[/img] </font></font>

[two drink minimum]

Originally posted by kraut:
<font color="#E9B756">Hm, plenty of people tell me I'm a nice and reliable guy. My relationship is about 4 and a half years old and with all the ups and downs every relationship experiences I can honestly say that me and my girlfriend are a truly happy couple, relying on each other when necessary and being free individuals where possible (or necessary, and "free", on a philosphical basis, being relative of course).

The last two guys my girlfriend had a relationship with were ignorant pricks, didn't treat her right. Now why am I still with her and those dumbasses aren't? Guess what, because I treat her fair and honest (that's pretty much what you call a nice guy, right?), the way that every partner deserves it. I don't want to mystify the whole "big love thing", but in the end, that's what it boils down to. If you really love someone and want to live with them (and no "forever talk" here), you treat them right. And you can't treat your loved ones right being an asshole.

Keep your spirit of being a good person towards other people whenever you feel it's right. By the time you won't surround yourself with those who take an andvantage of your kindness any more.

<font size="2">p.s.: off-topic,anyone notice the gold font color? just bought myself a goldtop... [img]smile.gif[/img] </font></font>

<font size="2" face="verdana, arial">Congratulations on the guitar!

[sickboy504]

I have to say something....

I think we should all be good people, but not take hurtful things from others.

I have a neighbor, who when we moved into our town home seemed friendly and nice, but other nice neighbors would welcome him into their home. Later this a-hole.. "person" decided it was okay to just walk in (without knocking) and grab a beer for his guests. Later after befriending him myself he would come and want to hang out with my fianc?'. She would push him away and he thought it was still okay. I later called him out for a fight, but he called the cops. About a month later I was on our balcony smoking a cigarette and havin' a cold one, when he was outside, so he yelled up and pulled out a pocketknife. I ran downstairs and took off my shirt, but he ran inside like the last time. There were several neighbors around that told the cops the truth. Now this person stays inside (scared I will pull through [except when I'm around]). When I am home he stays inside and I know if he does anything again he will be dealt with.

My point is my neighbors and I tried to be nice, but it can backfire.

I still recommend that we all be gentlemen or (ladies [can't leave the women out]), unless we must be assholes ourselves.

[sickboy504]

SOCIAL DISTORTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wolfpits]

Is that how you roll in the 909? Yeah baby. JK

[esvenneby]

It does sound pretty 909, or better yet where I'm from "760" yucca valley whoo hoo!! Thats the way they do it in the desert!! Sometimes I forget until I go out and visit. [img]eek.gif[/img]

So, I really liked what Kraut had to say. Steve you just have to be yourself, stay nice, be true, and eventually the right person will come along. Dont sell yourself out. I admit that I used to be attracted to "assholes" and the last 2 sure were good at faking be nice, but the asshole version came out of the closet eventually (after I thought I had been done with them years ago). Now I got a great guy, and if he starts being an asshole, I'll just have to put his ass in check too, and move on. But, I think I got lucky this time.
You know what they say, you gotta kiss alotta frogs. [img]wink.gif[/img]

[nubus]

I've got something to say...i'm a bad boy and nobody likes me. I hate people...and they hate me
[img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[wolfpits]

Thaks Erica for the kind words. Really. I've just gone through a lot of shit lately and as much as I really hate to admit it, I have started to develop low self esteem. Thats really tough to admit but it's true. All my friends ask me why would I want to be with somebody who doesnt want to be with me? God, thats the million fuckin dollar question isnt it? Its because my self esteem isnt the greatest right now. I treated this girl like a total queen. She was my life and I loved her. No matter how much I did for her she still had committment issues and she needed the "attention" of a few other men, including a married one. Now i'm just sitting here obsessing over it and I cant let it go. I wish it were so easy. Im 37 fucking years old and life and love is not getting any easier. Maybe Im looking for love in all the wrong places and Im attracted to the wrong kind of emotionally unavailable people. When you fall for them its the worst kind of fall because your the one who gets hurt 100% of the time. I guess time is the only thing that can help a wounded heart.

By the way, if the man your talking about Erica is the man I'm thinking about, you have yourself a good one. He's one of the most stand up guys I've ever met. Good Luck!