Why Chuck Klosterman makes me laugh

[AlAlvin]

From "Fargo Rock City":

"A list of what type of girls the premier metal groups like (or at least seemed to like)...

GUNS N' ROSES: Bisexual models; submissive women; girls who would buy them booze.
MOTLEY CRUE: Strippers; women who have sex in public (particularly elevators); lesbians.
RATT: Hookers with a heart of gold. Or strippers with a heart of gold. Or thirteen-year-olds.
WARRANT: Virgins who exhibitied the potential to become nymphomaniacs.
DEF LEPPARD: Drunk girls: female vampires.
THE CULT: Female vampires only.
FASTER PUSSYCAT: GNR rejects.
W.A.S.P.: Magician's assistants; women with rape fantasies; lower primates.
AEROSMITH: Models, but not waifs; high school snobs; more girls who like having sex in elevators.
CINDERELLA: Gypsies.
TESLA: Farm girls; whoever they used to date in junior high.
SKID ROW: Nameless, faceless, top-heavy sex machines (with hearts of gold).
BULLETBOYS: Girls with particularly deep birth canals.
L.A. GUNS: Drug-addled hitchhikers who like rough sex.
BANG TANGO: Faster Pussycat rejects.
VAN HALEN: Party girls; bikini models; the homecoming queen; cast members of "One Day at a Time".
DAVID LEE ROTH (solo): The same as Van Halen, except with bigger boobs.
BON JOVI: The girl next door.
VINNIE VINCENT INVASION: The dominatrix next door.
SLAUGHTER: Girls who couldn't make the cut as Bon Jovi groupies.
WINGER: Whoever Bon Jovi groupies used to baby-sit.
POISON: Girls who liked to tease; girls from small towns; good girls gone bad.
KISS: Any girl who wasn't dead.
IRON MAIDEN: Dead girls.
JUDAS PRIEST: Boys.
METALLICA: None of the above.

[Stacey0471]

That's great. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Hairglamfan]

LOL [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[chrisdamien]

Great list!

No my only question is Who is this Chcuk guy and what is Fargo Rock City?

[Carl I.]

And if you have ever been to Fargo, North Dakota, you will get how much more humorous he is. You really need a good sense of humor to live there. Fine city, but pure torture to get to it.

I'm still slugging away on the book, and plan to finish it this week. I like his writing, I just don't like the vast majority of the bands he talks about and there are other little nuances of his writing that bother me. He does carry a "I know this stuff was bad, but it was popular and I liked it". I don't know why people can't just say "No, this music was not bad" instead of always taking a condescending approach.

[The Italian Job]

Fargo Rock City is one of the funniest and most entertaining books of all time!!!... Chuck Klosterman is an awesomely talented writer, and that is is first book, a sort of musicologist's apology of Hair/Sleazy/Glam Metal.

[chrisdamien]

Well, I've seen the movie Fargo and my brother lives in North Dakota so I guess I have a little insight.

Have to pick up this book when I get into reading again then:-) Thanks for the tip!

[sleazy]

Thanx to have recalled this list!!!LOL

[Brandi Lords]

FRS kinda got on my tits when I read it. Klosterman always seemed to have a cynical tone about his writing & whilst, he knew some of the bands, didn't seem to really live or love the lifestyle.

He struck me as a bit of a loser that had never teased his hair, gone to a rock club or owned a pair of tight pants in his life. My view was that his experience with glam and hair metal extended as far as reading RIP and buying Dangerous Toys Cds at Walmart.

A book I found more interesting was "Hell bent for leather" by Seb Hunter. Whilst the title is dreadful, he was at least in a sleaze band (Cat Ballou), lived the lifestyle and name checks the Dogs D'Amour as one of the greatest bands ever.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006...lance&n=283155

Check it out & let me know your thoughts on how they compare.

[Tim73]

Plus one for the Seb Hunter book Hell Bent for Leather. It really is a screamingly funny account of being an "underground Glam star" in the UK circa the late 80s / early 90s.

I was literally crying with laughter when he went to the bank to get a loan so he could get a Gibson Les Paul only to be rejected as he had a childrens account. Anyone on this forum would enjoy the book & despite the grunge ending, it is 90% devoted to his love of glam / sleaze.