*meep*

[WiloeLeigh]

(I've been darker than usual these days and I just needed to let out all the negative emotions that have decided to stockpile in my system. More darkness will most likely follow. You have been warned.)

i think something?s broken and i know just where to look i find the gaping hallow in a
place i cannot reach with my hand outstretched and i can only watch the beating bleeding wound i think something?s broken and you look at me the concern in your eyes almost overwhelming your voice is soft and soothing as you stroke my hair but i don?t believe anymore i think something?s broken and i?m bleeding on your carpet as i stand there with one arm dangling at my side and the other wrapped across my chest i confuse you i confuse myself and this is where i walk away i think something?s broken and i can feel the bones shifting out of place as the muscles strain to hold me together the mask hides the beating bleeding wound but the blood trail marks my path i think something?s broken and i run to the edge or maybe i am pushed to the edge but i stand looking out into oblivion as it whispers to me promises me forever i wrap the silence around me like a cool second
skin and let myself fall i think something?s broken and i hear you calling my name i?m drowning in this darkness and i cannot see black to hide the red but the pain of every movement is torture and i do not remember how to swim i think something?s broken and i need you to teach me how to breath again and i need you to drag me from these murky depths to the crystal blue shallows and i need you to support me as hot salty tears scald my cheeks and i need you i need you help me to breath i think something?s broken and i know just where to look i show you the beating bleeding wound and your touch hurts fire and ice i gasp but i do not walk away i think something?s broken and i can feel the bones shifting back into place as the muscles relax and you hold me together but you tell me nothing speak volumes with your eyes but do not say a word because i don?t believe anymore just hold me and i will heal

bleeding me
easily
bleeding me
do you enjoy the feel
of my skin yielding beneath your hands
dip your fingers into the crimson
wells of ink
paint your pictures
red on white
bleeding me
easily
bleeding me
when you take too much
and you go too far
sweetness seeps into the wounds
with your touch
pull me to you, push me away
paint your pictures
with my tears
bleeding me
easily
bleeding me
the need is overwhelming
i need to walk that thin line
between pleasure and pain
in your arms
and i pose for you
paint your pictures
and the smile is a facade
bleeding me
easily
bleeding me
as each caress
cuts me apart
you let pieces of me fall
onto the canvas
drop by drop
and i come undone
paint your pictures
but remember me when i was whole
bleeding me
i become a piece of art

dizzying madness delirium
where do these thoughts come from
the world spins much too fast
and i stumble
and the ground rises to meet me
like a living thing
cool grass on my cheek
the dew soaking through my clothes
a carpet of green
but all i see is swirling stars
swimming across my vision
are my eyes closed
or am i staring at the sky
i can only hear my heartbeat
the sound rising and falling
with every other breathe
struggling to keep up
with the dizzying madness delirium
that is drowning my soul
the grass is soft and envelops me
to sink into the ground
how i wish to disappear
a place no one will think to look
but my body is tired
and i want to give in
who will notice me gone
if i flung myself from the rooftop
and dove into the earth
burrowed and buried and slipped away
quietly into the night
with the starscape overhead
this dizzying madness delirium
fading to a dream
and maybe then i could finally
get some sleep




[This message has been edited by WiloeLeigh (edited January 10, 2001).]

[*Leo the Lioness*]

*L first of all i have to laugh at the title.........*meep* is a word i've used with my husband.......long story that i wont get into, but it cracked me up when i saw it

a standing ovation for your writing........i was glued from beginning to end, and i felt the anguish, and also identified with the part about wanting to sink into the earth.......i've laid on the grass, looking up at the stars many a time, and had similar thoughts

very good, thank you for that....

------------------
"they've been going in and out of style....but they're guaranteed to raise a smile"

HELP!-a BEATLES board

[WiloeLeigh]

(Back with some more.)

this repeatitive dance
a circle
that binds us to eachother
and holds us down
growing ever tighter
threatening to strangle us
if we move an inch in any direction
we are trapped here
in this circle
this nightly dance
with footsteps easily memorized
and repeated
until we could not escape
the bonds
we need to sit out the next dance
i need to let your hand go
and walk out of the room
before i fall from exhaustion
i would take you with me
if i were to fall just now
you and me
me and you
two become one
intertwined in a dance
that refuses to end
spinning in the same place
following the same pace
looking at the same face
we need to sit out the next dance
but you pull me closer
i have seen this move before
and i am tired
i have no choice
our lips meet as we twirl
in the light of the moon
slow motion
a slowing rhythm
slower slower almost to a stop
maybe this time i can untangle
myself from you
maybe the dance will end
and i can cut the ties that bind
and run across the twilight plains
to reach the sunrise
maybe...maybe...
but when you touch me there
the music changes
the dance begins anew
and i am trapped
in this circle
that holds us down
holds me back
please hold me until the dawn
and we will dance again tomorrow

I wake up alone
the sunlight glaring at me behind
the thick window curtains
threatening to flood the room
with garrish morning light
harsh yellow and orange
too firey for the cool emotions I feel
sliding inside
the quiet drifting of so many
late nights
spent trying to strengthen this bond
stretched over miles of rolling hills and seashore
your voice echoes in my head
as I bundle under the covers
and I slow my breathing so that I can
hear you more clearly
I know every whispered ?I love you?
will disappear in the daylight
fading away like distant dream memories
so I pull the darkness close to me
wrap it around my too warm body
in order to keep
the pain and hurt at arm?s length
because you are not here
I did not wake up in your arms
and the distance is magnified
when I open the curtains
the sun hungrily filling every corner
of the room
and the view from my window
reminding me that I am not with you

You wish I was perfect
but the mirror has shattered
crackled spiderwebs marring the surface
and the radius stretches so far
that you can no longer see what
it looked like when it was flawless
when I was flawless

[erisesoteric]

*awe*

[Enlanra]

Why can I never write like this? *kicks the baseboard and trudges off to scribble in a notebook*

[Branflakes]

Wow.

------------------
The original ninja lesbian milk getter.
The one called "brain" and "brandiflakes" and....
I'm tired of the silent majority. Silence equals death.
Life is what you make it.
"I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality"-Savage Garden
You're going to have to deal with my ego at some point.
Become beautiful on the inside and it will show on the outside.

[WiloeLeigh]

(More randomness, less dark, its a conversation-type thing between two unknown speakers, although it becomes more clear as you go along, I don't know where its going, but this is what happens in my Logic class when I get bored...)


what do you want?
*silence*
what do you want?
i don?t know.
what do you want?
i said i don?t know.
what do you want?
will you stop asking me that?
what do you want?
leave me alone!
what do you want?
*silence*
what do you want?
is that the only thing you know how to say?
what do you want?
shut up!
what do you want?
why can?t you just leave me alone?
what do you want?
for you to leave me alone!
*beat*
that?s not what you want.
you don?t know what i want.
neither do you.
*beat*
don?t you have somewhere to be?
what do you want?
i already answered you.
what do you want?
what part of ?leave me alone? do you not understand?
what do you want?
*beat*
i don?t know.
that?s not true.
yeah? who died and made you God?
how do you know i?m not?
*silence*
what do you want?
are you really God?
what do you want?
you said you were God...
what do you want?
and God would already know.
i want to hear you say it.
why don?t you just tell me what I want and save us both a lot of trouble?
i want to hear you say it.
not everyone gets what they want.
what do you want?
*beat*
*beat*
to die.
that?s not what you want.
then why do i have this bottle of pills in my hand?
that?s not what you want.
look, i want my life to be over.
that?s not what you want.
just tell me what i want and then go away!
what do you want?
i?m out of here...
WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!
*beat*
*beat*
to not feel so lost.
and you think death is going to solve that?
not if you?re God...

[dpbluc3]

I like that one. . .



a lot.

[WiloeLeigh]

(Thanks to all who replied. Ready for another??)

The Wait

Chipped purple nail polish
From biting your fingernails
The swing of your leg
A pendulum attached at the knee
Keeping rhythm with time passing slowly
Too slowly for your taste
As you nibble on your thumb
The smell of spearmint and Lysol
Tickles my nose
An astringent scent that catches
The stark white walls of the waiting room
Divided by a waist-high streak of blue
And I take your hand in mine
And absentmindedly massage your knuckles
Your foot keeps swinging
back and forth
back and forth
You begin biting the thumbnail on your other hand
And I sigh
The static and crackle of the intercom
Brings your head up
And you hold your breath
and let it out when you realize its not your time
With the hair falling back in your porcelain face
You resume biting your nails
CNN is broadcasting some news reel
About bombings in Kosovo
Insignificant, the death of thousands,
When compared to the fact that
You could be pregnant
The intercom blares over the voice of the anchorman
Time for you to go back
And put on a paper gown, left in only
Your socks, legs dangling off the examination table,
So much like a child
And with a brief squeeze of your hand
I let you go
The double doors swinging like pendulums
Keeping rhythm with time
Until slowing to a stop

[Oz]

wow. really cool. the last two have been faves of mine.