Submitted for your approval

[erisesoteric]

.CIGARETTES AND COFFEE IN THE MORNING, INTERRUPTED

These friends of mine that worry on me worry me
And I hear a murmured conversation in the room
Across the hall
And wish to speak, wish to reclaim
And I don?t speak because the words don?t come
These strangers in my house
These strangers cross me, they accost me
They accuse me, seek to claim me
These strangers in my house come walking through
And point and indicate and caution
Seek to inform me, come to fix me
And this house that I have found
This shelter and this solitude
Invaded, interrupted and these walls are scaled and toppled
And when I find this peace
This piece of solitude, security
And when I find this breached
I find that I have such a streak
Of hard and cold and unforgiving
And I wish to speak but I control
And I seek peace in quiet rituals
Of cigarettes and coffee
Reflect in morning on a murmured conversation
These strangers know my name
And nothing else of me
They tell me not to interrupt
And they say that I disrupt
These strangers that instruct and seek
To find my way and say they guide
And come to conflict harsh and angry words
And a steel-touched explanation of the lines
And cross and come to confrontation
And the wounded look
They claim that I misinterpret good intentions
I?m told I am deceived by apprehensions
These good deeds these strangers do propose
In me, if I could only see
And I walk away, with words to say
Of barriers constructed in the aftermath
These strangers, in my house
They talk to me in dreams of violence
But I come home, seeking silence
I try to use the words precisely
These strangers fear these words I speak
They seek control
I seek release.

[dwim]

*stamps his approval*
That is really good. Very effective use of imagery and emotions. I like it.

------------------
There's loneliness in the radios...

[erisesoteric]

I am entirely flattered, dwim...

[Branflakes]

I like, esoteric.

------------------
Branflakes. The Ninja Lesbian. The Milk Getter. The Hair Gel Getter. I get it all!
The one Necro calls "brain".
Call me what you want, just don't call me Blue Falcon or Branni.
I walk the path, trying not get pulled into the weeds.
"walking away, no longer running."--NecroFlash
"See that star...the one shining brighter than all the others? I know the girl who hung it there."

[Dano]

*standing ovation*
Bravo. Very effective.

------------------
Raise Love
Om Namaha Shivaya
All Stories Are True

You want to begin again / Pretend you're innocent / If you believe / You can convince yourself / I'm sure. -- Mark Sandman

One day the world will be ready for you / And wonder how they didn't see -- E

[erisesoteric]

Thank you both. I do appreciate the positive feedback. I show this stuff to my friends, but, well they're my friends, ya know...

[dwim]

Yeah, I know how that feels. "Are they just saying it's good to not hurt my feelings?" In my poetry circle here in Indy, i can get an honest feedback from them. I know I can and that was the understanding from the get go since last summer. Sometimes I change my poems to their suggestions and sometimes I don't. But here's my secret, I hide the really bad poems of mine and not show it until it needs help... then i can work on it. When I was writing "The Buzz" it took me forever to do that, then I got some feedback on it from one of my friends, one said it was good, the other said it needs more imagery, I went with the imagery and presto! what do ya know? now it have energy when I read it out loud when I am really into the poem. So try to get honest feedback whenever you can...

------------------
There's loneliness in the radios...

[erisesoteric]

Honest feedback is always positive, dwim