Circulation

[Hannibal]

The title rocks well with this one.

The end left me hanging in my opinion though.
was it supposed to?
It left me going......wtf....... WTF!?

[pixxie]

Circulation

The fan droning, covering her
with a subtle breeze that feels
dry--artificial--does nothing
to stop the beads that are forming
on her neck--her arms--her upper lip.
The heat still penetrates her
dampened skin, creates two rivers
that flow toward her chin from her temples,
get tangled in her hair.
The putrid smell of sweaty bodies
and sex lingers in the air. She sniffles--
absent-mindedly stuffing her underwear
into the back pocket of her crumpled jeans.
One shoe lies half-hidden under
discarded sheets and blankets. The other
has tucked itself behind the bedroom door.
She hastily grabs them both. A soft snore
and the darkness of the room follows her
into the sterile hallway.Her socked feet
shuffle
silently to the elevator at the end of the
hall,
avoiding the reflection in its cold steel
doors.

Again, very open to criticism!!

[Fliptastic29]

Sounds like someone being used sexually. Could it be more deep and include some kind of emotional detachment? I liked it. SOrry if i don?t make any sense. I?m in Spain and speaking spanish so much has clouded my english. By the way i?ll be back the 13th so hanny you better be ready to see me. well at least one day before i head back down to school. Andrew told me of a coldplay concert on the 18th if you want to come 18th of Aug. So i?ll give you a call on the 13th or 14th. Keep up the good work pixie i really like your attention to detail and you don?t overuse it either, makes me jelious. [smile]

[pixxie]

The ending is definitely supposed to leave you hanging. It's a one night stand that leaves the girl feeling a little ashamed of herself (hence the inability to look at her own reflection). Keep the feedback comin'!!!

[Hannibal]

Originally posted by Flipidydipidy do da:
Sounds like someone being used sexually. Could it be more deep and include some kind of emotional detachment? I liked it. SOrry if i don?t make any sense. I?m in Spain and speaking spanish so much has clouded my english. By the way i?ll be back the 13th so hanny you better be ready to see me. well at least one day before i head back down to school. Andrew told me of a coldplay concert on the 18th if you want to come 18th of Aug. So i?ll give you a call on the 13th or 14th. Keep up the good work pixie i really like your attention to detail and you don?t overuse it either, makes me jelious. [smile]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">FUCKER!
So that's where you've been.

I've wondered.
I'm trying to set up a HUGE camping trip next summer - so far one place I looked (the only place my family ever used) is about 5-600 bucks per person.
It's up in Canada, they boat/fly you in, drop you off, and say "see ya in a week" it's awesome.
So far Brock is in, and James is in...