Mother

[pixxie]

Mother

Should I have you for all the wrong reasons?
What are the right ones?
Will I be able to forgive myself?

Unable to avoid judgement--I
meet it in the gaze of every pair
of eyes that meet my own. I choose
to stare at my feet to avoid
further scrutiny. I wonder if you
would have had my crooked second toe--
would have shared my overbite
and moust brown hair. If I
had not flushed you out of me
would you have shared my olive
skin. Which is less selfish--
to have you to hold and return
my unconditional love--to avoid
ever being lonely--or allowing you
to escape the emotional scars
years of my doting would have left on you.
Allowing myself the freedom
of a life unburdened
by the nurturing of another
more innocent and needy than myself.
I am too selfish to give
myself so abundantly. Too hungry
for affection. Condemned to suffer
my torn opinion over which
was the right choice. Was I
meant to be a mother or murderer?


Side note: Just wanted to say this isn't from personal experience, so if it seems too ditant, let me know. I can try to tweak it to seem more like it's direct experience.

[Fliptastic29]

I like it but i think you need to be more aggresive. It just seems like something i've heard before. Maybe you should end it, I am a Murderer or something like that instead of the question.

[Hannibal]

Personally, I liked this one.

It was chilly & frightening - to me at least.

And the question at the end is something I think was well versed and used in good taste.

There were points when I was reading I found myself having to back and re-read other parts for clarity. I felt like certain parts I had really try and think who's saying/thinking what to whom.
It was a bit muddled sometimes which kinda took away from it - but overall a pretty nice peice.