deliver

[sarafina mable]

I left red freckles between her moons, testing time to make me leave her skin
forever twice tasted her lips just to start my ears on fire and then I laid to be fucked
what I wanted from her was easy to please
smiles in delicate wrapping doorstep delivered
fingers with nails to drive red moons around my freckles
I was suckered with seashells and viewing ocean scenes I was laid for the touch-
seriously, she told me you?re an easy lover
she meant, I hope-easy to love

[Hannibal]

this one was... confusing
I read it once, then read it again.
Then left it alone, then came back and re-read it.
For me, this one was really hard to follow, and the imagery I couldn't wrap my mind around.
For some reason as well, anytime someone uses the word "fuck" in a work, it always makes me pause.
ha.
Anyways..
I dunno what it was about this, but it really confused me, and I found it kinda hard to read.
Definately hard to understand.
I'm not sure if that was the intention...
but it left me confused
some elaboration on your part would be appreciated [img]smile.gif[/img]

[sarafina mable]

picture pinching someone with your nails and leaving moons with your nail imprints, later on i said it (not backwards) "nails to drive red moons around my freckles"
i guess moons might come off sexual, but thats kinda how i wanted it. i don't know why i delivered this piece towards a woman, using "her". it kinda came out that way.
maybe its about wanting someone, having someone, and then not really being satisfied--"you're an easy lover" hoping that she meant 'easy to love'.
maybe this didn't come off quite well, only because the spacing doesn't match up once i submit a piece.
i wasn't trying to be confusing. do you have any more questions? any suggestions. this piece i like only b/c i am confused myself as to why i directed it toward a woman. so any help is welcomed!

[Hannibal]

Using your post as a "guidline" I re-read it a few more times...
It makes more sense now... but it's still like... got that "confusing" quality about it..
I like it more though,..
although, i'm still confused what moons we're talking about
Call me immature, but I think of "mooning" and butts
haha
*shrugs*
I like it much better now that there's been an explanation...
I can see it much more clearly.