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Thread: Ashes

  1. #1
    Inactive Member Trevor Vincent's Avatar
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    Left for a man
    Or so she says-
    Hiding the real issue at hand-
    Incapacity for love
    She should have seen the sign
    Neon so bright to set eyes afire
    But not hearts
    It blinked
    Maybe a malfunction
    Slipping between it?s flickering beguilement
    Like a game of double dutch
    Her legs-too slow-tripped up by flapping tongues
    And swinging dicks
    Now trying to ignite jealousy
    With her own flame
    Kept alive by indecision
    Or so she thought
    Now thinking the decision was made
    Long before she laid
    Too many nights spent not sleeping.

  2. #2
    Inactive Member Trevor Vincent's Avatar
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    Hey everyone. I see some new names in here, and that's great, but this message is more to those old DPS personalities. I haven't really been myself in the past few months and I couldn't quite place a finger on it. I had extreme writers block for about a month and became so incredibly frustrated with the idea of writing shit upon the page that I gave up. Well, about 3 days ago, in one of those depressed states where you don't know how you got there, or how to go back to what some might consider as being normal, words just began to flow from my mouth. I wrote what I consider to be my best poem/vent ever. My writing is starting to come together again, if just a little bit, but I need to start somewhere. I've been taking a class on writing fiction and I have never really tried to write stories, but it has my juices flowing, and I think it might be one of the causes for being able to get something on paper after such a long hiatus. Enough w/the babbling...I'm happy to post again, and this time I hope to not fall in a rut again.

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  3. #3
    Senior Hostboard Member Hannibal's Avatar
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    January 16th, 2001
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    Trevor, it's awesome to see you once more!!!
    It's been far too long my good friend, FAR too long. Your long awaited return is met with open arms my friend... post whatever you want, you know how it goes.
    How are clases goin for ya this sem?
    I hope things are good... email me sometime.

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    As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

    If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
    Word And Voice
    Motocross Fanatics
    General Philosophy

  4. #4
    Inactive Member machinery's Avatar
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    i think the poem is written well...but a few things....

    it's kind-of-a clash to have the words "afire" and "dicks" in the same poem...it just got to me.

    the poem has good rhythm-did you want that?
    I was thinking that you could break it up and let the reader take a rest and see what the important statements are in the poem..
    -but you aren't much for breaking it up-me know me know ah bah boog hum!

    Anyways, keep on posting!
    oh and hey, this friday night, the Kid A ballet at the Bone Student Center (in the Circus Room) on College Ave. They are having a ballet to all Radiohead music. I went to the beginning productions last year and it was damn good. It only costs three smacks to get in. Get ahold of me.

    lates.

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