One step forward five steps back.
I stand and fall. I rise and collapse.
My existence mocks my essence. I am my lies and my hypocrasy. I am the punchline to my own favorite joke. My favorite feeling is pain but I can not cry. My favorite color is red but I can not bleed. I can not die because I do not live, I can not live because I am alive. I am irony, I am 22.

I have stripped away what I am. I express emotions I do not posses. I have conformed for safety. I have lied so I no longer have to lie. I am what I hate but I do not hate what I am.

I stretch to shed this false skin. I gnaw at the numb tissue I have covered myself in. The countdown has begun. Cover your eyes and ears, hold on to something you love. For I am one of 4 brothers and my horse is coming.
My birth is on the horizon, I can see my destiny.

I will judge on what you are not what you say you are. Your paper version means nothing to your soul. I urge you all peal away the coating applied to you since birth. Embrace your nature. Be what you are, Love what you Love. Owe debt to no one but yourself and your loves. For the first time own yourself.

Hurry I beg you hurry. I know my time is coming, and you don't want to be unprepared when the pheonix rises from the scum to create the ashes of rebirth. You too can be immortal but only if you don't try. You too can get where you want to go but only if you allow the journey to take its course. Be true to yourself.

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[This message has been edited by Soiled Soul (edited September 20, 2001).]