Strand for you (from me)

[machinery]

Cannot be
what you want
me to be

Tried so many
Failed in so many ways

to be like you

Cannot be
what you want
me to be
Because I...
am broken

Years I've held you in my hands
molding words and creating meaning

for us to have
for us to remember

Walking through your numerous occasions
I kept my head above water

I kept my breath clean
I was strong...

uneducated were my wills
to be this one...

the one I manipulated myself to be
reckless nights, layering days

I maintained, I remained
my skin was deep
and my thoughts were infant

Never could I imagine
A feeling, a life like this

With you, I can grasp
obtaining a moment
cold air insulates itself in my cheeks
Walking footsteps away
Acheiving thoughts
of you

Tonight took hold. Tonight pulled my skin tighter. Respiration. I didn't want to come home tonight, for I wanted to explore myself through the city streets. I wanted to walk off that pain, that guilt, that had wrapped themselves cellophane tight around my life. Tonight I broke free of the chains I had locked myself into. The cold air stung and I smiled steam.

Cannot be
what you want
me to be
Because I am broken.

This is to you wonderous writer, evening creator. You did this to me; you made frail. You spread your suffocation on my body. You put me in a jar and kept me on a shelf for your amusement. You took me down to where I couldn't function. I lost my way
BUT...came back.
Here I stand. Far from you and away from your machinery.

[parch]

i'm proud of you
this is strength
this is you

[machinery]

What? I'm confused. I would like to take it as a compliment but I just don't know. I'm shaking my head on this one.

[This message has been edited by machinery (edited January 25, 2001).]