Touch

[Trevor Vincent]

I didn't quite follow this very well. It seemed that you said a lot about how she was afraid of your touch, but yet it brought her to you. I also think that both stanzas contradicted each other but I don't know if you meant to do that. I did like the way "touch" was used throughout though.

[Zeik Blaine]

Touch

Gentle touch
Across your face
Soft-wet touch
Against your lips
Prescious brush
Over your cheek
The rushing touch
The stikes within
The passion of my touch
Overcomes you
You feel it
Better than anything before
It scares you
Afraid of my touch

Something you've never seen before
My touch
Questions that crounch in your mind
My touch
It has broken down your walls
My touch
Corrupting your thoughts
My touch
Has done all this
My touch
Has brought you to me

[parch]

your description and repetition of "my touch" works well within the poem.

i want more to end on than just "has brought you to me"..make this significant or make it something else...or make it go on farther but it is nothing unless you make it something.

nice but you can show us more.

___---parch

[Zeik Blaine]

Well, in this one, i was trying to show at the beginning what 'my touch' could do to her, and when she realizes it, it will bring her to me, i tried to show how she has been hurt before and is afraid of what 'my touch' will do, but in the end realizes that it is what she wants, tried at least