liquid

[Goku____90]

water.....raindrops
father....won't stop

I ran........away
just the other day
To a place where the clouds are gray,
everyday

and i don't smile anymore
cause whats a smile good for
will it rain all day
what did your mother say
and are you doing ok
did they let you play
are you doing ok?

eyes burnt.............. sunshine
my life turned......with little time

I shot someone in the head
I laughed at him
I'm glad your dead

and i don't help her anymore
cause whatsmy help good for

will it rain all day
what did your mother say
and are you doing ok
did you get to play
are you doing ok
are you doing ok
are you doing ok
are you doing ok
by Joshua Lee Johnson

[parch]

great work.

repetition is overused but not here. nice here.

the words remind me of playful youth.. grade school and our children faces... dirty hands.

to go back and read the first two lines after the poem.. really adds to it. i did that. its cool like that. try it. read the poem. then stop. the slowly read the first two lines mechanically.

did you do it?

do it now>>>>

ok..
did it work?

nice huh?

i like this poem.