Insanity

[Soiled Soul]

I am once again at my own accord and lost. The fire of rebellion has dwindled down to the pilot. The light of love clouded by aged memories. The numbness returns and the skin regrows. I want to run and scream and fight, strip naked in the mud and laugh with my own gentle insanity.

Instead I sit, placid. Dirty only with my sins. Laughing only at my own bullshit. I have imprisoned myself. My guards beat me with knowledge I don't want. I rape my body with drugs and false lust.
UNCLEAN UNCLEAN

I allow my fear to cage me. Fear of what I would do if I ran free. Fear of who I would hurt if I peeled away the false conscience I esembled from the corpse of my last. I am a monster and animal.

I carry a weapon of truth, an arsenal of knowledge. I am the fogotten horseman. To know what I have seen is a death greater than any carnage could bestow.

I run full speed from myself
But can not escape
I can only step into my own shadow.

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[This message has been edited by Soiled Soul (edited October 08, 2001).]

[parch]

you bring us up to a high point and drop us too quick in the end - it didn't work.

i can't go from running at full speed to just standing in a shadow, but that's how it feels from this reader's perspective. couldn't go w/ the ending.

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I am my new Religion
I am my non Decision