experimentation

[MScotty03]

Fall.
Fall harder than you've ever fallen before.
Scared excitement turns to happy sadness.
Pick yourself up- wear that beautiful smile.
Realize in time you'll get swept up again.
In better bigger amazing knock you off your feet can't think straight wonderful
sweet surprises.

[Hannibal]

You really jumped right into an image here.
No joking around, just falling.
Good though.
Interesting, but short.
It's lacking a little somewhere, but I'm not sure where, or maybe it's not lacking at all, and it's just the brutal honesty of it that smacks you in the face and makes you want it to be missing something.
No one likes to fall..

[MScotty03]

i can't decide if it is missing something either, i agree too short and at first i didnt' like it. but in a lot of ways i do like it because its so straightforward. i love the last line because it DOeS "smack you in the face with brutal honesty" i'm not sure about this one.. i'll work on it some more.

[sarafina mable]

i like how the last line starts with "better bigger"
the word order kinda tripped me up when i first read it, but i like that, it wasn't the natural order i would expect
i think that the language could be a little stronger
the last line carries the piece through so why not make the rest of the piece with that same fast paced no bullshit wording