Streaks of a falling star

[Hannibal]

Her backlit neon eyes resting quietly,
In the muddy banks of my Long Term memory
Protesting in silence - I cannot help but be subjected to
This torture.
No busy times to free my mind - nothing to do,
No consequence to frighten me into submission,
Just thoughts, rumbling around inside my head.
And those backlit neon eyes,
Blazing their path into the forefront of my mind,
Icy blue - was that full of, or lacking in,
emotion?
I have trouble remembering other specifics,
Her voice is gone - drown by the waters of the mind.
Her face - tragically simple - nothing spectacular as it should be.
Her body - slowly transforming - the hottest girl ever.
Age creeps upon me,
Slows me down.
But with every passing day, she escapes me more,
And I rejoice.
Perhaps someday I will be freed
From those backlit neon eyes.

[Hannibal]

After reading I decided already that it needs some adjustments... so rather than do it on the original, i figured I'd do it here, so you all could see what I've done.


Her backlit neon eyes resting quietly,
In the muddy banks of my Long Term memory
Protesting in silence - I cannot help but be subjected to
This torture.
No busy times to free my mind - nothing to do,
No consequence to frighten me into submission,
Just thoughts, rumbling around inside my head.
And those backlit neon eyes,
Blazing their path into the forefront of my mind,
Icy blue - was that full of, or lacking in,
emotion?
I have trouble remembering other specifics,
Her voice is gone - drown by the waters of the mind.
Her face - tragically simple - Everything more spectacular than it once was.
Her body - slowly transforming - the most beautiful girl ever.
Age creeps upon me,
Slows me down.
But with every passing day, she escapes me more,
And I rejoice.
Perhaps someday I will be freed
From those backlit neon eyes.